The Silm Fandom Drama Bullshit Thing

If you're here because of wank regarding Spiced Wine and her clique in Silmarillion fandom, let me save you some time, here is all the everything in one place.

• Part One of the Spiced drama, where I address her false accusations.
• Part Two, where I address her changing narrative about what happened [since I brought receipts with Part One and now she has to make up new lies].
• Part Three: ongoing cyberstalking and assorted petty nonsense.
• Part Four, where she weaponized my trauma against me. [tw CSA]
• Part Five, which is not about me specifically but is about some other behavior you should be aware of. [tw racism]
• Here's my statement about my OC Anthony, which was written in November 2020.
• Re: the accusation of being a "scammer", January 2023. [please see link to my original DW post for more context in comments]
• Of actual red flags and lying liars who lie [Jan 2024] and this comment thread
• I explain why I did a major edit to my Learning To Fly universe.
• this got dragged into Snowflake Challenge 2024
• November 2024 Update - how this has impacted me long-term

Be aware this is like arson murder and jaywalking; if you don't have energy to read everything on that list, read Part One, Part Two and Part Four, and then maybe also the 2024 Update.

These are the only statements I care to make publicly about the situation with my former friends and collaborators. This is extremely difficult to talk about and I prefer to focus my attention on other things. Nonetheless, I felt like something needed to be said. If you think I'm being "mean", I have the right to defend myself against a smear campaign from an abuser and her clique which has been going on since 2020 - this is not your run-of-the-mill "nobody cares" fandom drama, this is a Big Name Fan who has been name-dropped in Slate magazine, and where another Big Name Fan [AnnEllspethRaven] is basically using her world-record-holding fanfic as PR for Spiced. I have to watch my back wherever I go, I cannot participate in fandom like a normal fan, because of this shit.

My Dreamwidth and my website are the only places where I have addressed this subject. Also, most of my blocks in Silmarillion fandom are directly because of this; I have good reasons to not trust their friends and not want to interact with them.

Since I am now a Jewish convert and I know this is going to come up if I don't say it, this is not lashon hara - there is a difference between saying something mean-but-true for the sake of gossip, and defending oneself against abuse. Also, here's a public statement about why I changed my username in December 2023, which is somewhat connected to the shituation.

Let me make this abundantly clear - the bullying and harassment may have backed me into a corner where I limit my interactions with others, but I am NOT removing these posts; the longer this has gone on, the more I feel it is necessary for people to know what's really going on here. If Spiced and her supporters ever someday apologize and issue retractions, my willingness to accept and acknowledge that apology [after 5+ years of bullying trauma] will be contingent on evidence of behavioral changes, and since I am not the first person Spiced has bullied and driven out of the fandom, I don't trust that she wouldn't pull this with someone else. Additionally, I find it to be disgustingly hypocritical in the extreme that certain people now have "no spitefic, no parody" in their transformative works policy considering this and also, everything I've said in Part Four.

Hér setti ég upp níðstöng, og þessari bölvun sný ég á þá sem rægðu mig og bölvuðu. Megi allt hið illa sem þeir hafa gert mér og fjölskyldu minni skila sér til þeirra. Megi þeir verða hraktir frá samfélögum sínum, missa vini, missa heilsu og finna illa frægð, eins og þeir hafa gert mér. Megi öll gleði sem þau finna í lífinu verða að ösku í munni þeirra. Bölvun fyrir bölvun. Allir sem hjálpuðu til í lygunum og óheiðarlegum töfrum, vera líka bölvaðir.