On Saturday the thirteenth of October, Mark and Sören went on their first double date with Dooku and Anthony, now that Anthony was all settled in to Dooku's house, and the leaves were turning beautifully.
Sören had suggested miniature golf, something Mark didn't think he'd see Dooku doing in a million years, but Anthony liked the idea and so Dooku indulged him. When they got out of Mark's Jaguar and Anthony's rainbow-flag-bumper-sticker Audi in the parking lot, Anthony's eyes widened with surprise at the sheepdog/Corgi mix Mark was walking on a leather leash.
"I have post-traumatic stress disorder and this is my service dog," Mark explained. "His name is Huan." Huan barked.
"Juan? Are you Latino?" Anthony asked. "You look it."
Mark smiled and gave a non-answer. "I'm from everywhere." That wasn't a lie, per se - he'd lived enough places that he considered himself a citizen of the world; he had been immersed in cultures that no living human remembered.
Anthony stooped to pet the dog, who licked Anthony's face, making him laugh. "He's a love," Anthony said, grinning. "I'm more of a cat person but I like dogs too." Anthony stood up, and for the first time Mark really noticed Anthony had somewhat wide hips, giving him a very slight hourglass shape. He looked up at Anthony's throat and it confirmed his suspicion, but he kept his observation to himself, not wanting to be rude. In any case, Anthony looked like a man.
Like a very handsome man.
Dooku and Anthony made a nice-looking couple - Dooku aged well, and Anthony was leading-man good-looking, the sort of guy Mark would cast to play James Bond if Mark made movies and Anthony had any interest in acting. Mark had always found Dooku quite attractive even without figuring out this was his beloved uncle Fingolfin reborn as human, but Dooku seemed even more attractive now that he was with Anthony. Dooku would always be formal-mannered, which Mark found somewhat charming - Fingolfin had been like that too, all courtly manners where Fëanor was a bit of rough - but Dooku seemed to be the most at-ease Mark had ever seen him, smiling and laughing more, genuine, not put-on. Dooku was even wearing jeans, which Mark had never seen him in. It was a good look; Dooku had a nice ass.
Mark didn't want to keep looking at Dooku's ass. Or Dooku in general. Or Anthony. Of course, he and Sören were in an open relationship, though Mark had not been with anyone else. He knew Sören wouldn't judge him for ogling - Sören was doing plenty of that himself; Sören was biting his lip right now with his eyes glued to Anthony's ass as they made their way to the ticket booth. Mark didn't have to use ósanwe to know Sören was thinking at least a dozen perverted thoughts.
Mark had those himself. The thought of Dooku and Anthony making love together threatened to get Mark hard, and now was not the time or place for that.
The course allowed service animals if they were leashed and had the proper paperwork, which Mark had on hand. As they headed out onto the green, looking at the holes and their props, Mark muttered, "I can't believe I let you talk me into this." Sören gave him a big, cheesy grin.
"This is really nostalgic," Anthony said with a soft sigh. "My late uncle Nigel used to take me mini golfing when I was a kid. I haven't been since then."
"I've never been," Dooku said.
"Ah, so I get to take your cherry all over again." Anthony leered.
Dooku turned bright pink... and so did Sören. Mark found it curious - that implied Dooku had been a virgin until recently, and Mark didn't know how a sexy guy like Dooku could have been celibate so long. Residual grieving of Fëanor, Mark thought to himself, wondering once again if Dooku had any memories, any dreams, like Sören did.
If, for that matter, Anthony did as well.
Canon said Finarfin was still alive, but Maglor knew the truth - that Finarfin had died valiantly in the War of Wrath. Telling the story of his people to Tolkien had ripped open some old wounds, and it didn't help that Tolkien was not exactly sympathetic to Fëanor and his kin. Maglor had not been able to bring himself to mention losing Finarfin; it was painful enough to talk about how Fingolfin died.
There was still something of Finarfin in the way Anthony walked, tall and proud, like he owned the course. The way his green eyes took in everything. The simple joy on his face - Finarfin had been a very happy-go-lucky man, content with his creature comforts and the people he loved.
It didn't seem right, somehow, that Fingolfin and Finarfin would find each other again and be dangled just out of Fëanor's reach. Mark knew the Valar were cruel, but he knew their love for each other was stronger - that they had come this far was a testament to that. Looking at Anthony and Dooku again, walking arm in arm, Mark wondered if there was a way to gently nudge things into place... two becoming four.
He had to think about that, a lot. It was one thing to condemn Sören to living out his years following him around the world, never putting down roots for more than a decade or so, then disappearing... another thing to drag Anthony and Dooku along with them. He didn't even know how to go about telling them what he really was.
Mark decided to postpone any further speculations - and the plotting born of those thoughts. He distracted himself with the game, and with Sören showing Dooku how to hold the club and putt, which involved having to get in close proximity to him and touch him, with both men getting flustered, faces red, breathing harder.
You idiots, Mark thought to himself, wanting to lock them in a room until they fucked and got it out of their system. His hands clenched on the club.
Despite Mark's initial self-consciousness at it, he was the best golfer out of the four of them, and was strutting a little by the time they approached the last three holes. Sören patted him. "See, I told you this would be fun." Huan barked as if to agree with him.
"Yeah, it is." Mark grinned back. Sören gave him a little peck.
If Mark was the best golfer of the four of them, Sören was the worst, and indeed, one of the worst golfers Mark had ever seen. He never knew one could fail so badly at miniature golf, until he'd seen Sören Sigurðsson try. And though Sören didn't seem to be doing it deliberately - it really was a case of bad aim, being uncoordinated - Sören had a good sense of humor about it. "Wow, that's not even in the right direction," he said as he watched the ball fly off at the next-to-last hole. He started singing Smash Mouth. "Hey now you're an all-star, get your game on, go play | Hey now, you're a rock star, get your show on, get paid | AND ALLLLL THAT GLITTERS IS GO-OOLLLLD | ONLY SHOOTING STAAAAAAAAAAAARRRS BREAK THE MO-OLD." He laughed at Mark cringing at the song.
After the last hole, Sören said, "Again?" and sounded so much like a big kid that as much as Mark wanted to sit and rest for awhile - Sören had topped him last night and reamed him hard - he couldn't deny him. But then Sören looked across the gate by the hole and his face lit up even more. "Oh never mind - let's do that!"
It was a go-kart track.
Most of the people at the track were kids, some with parents. The go-kart attendant did a double-take at the four gentlemen. There was a height requirement, and they certainly met the minimum height, but the maximum was seven feet, and Dooku was six feet five inches tall and Mark was taller than he was.
Mark had to be measured, but he already knew his height. "I'm six nine," he said.
"Nice," Sören and Anthony said in unison, then grinned at each other and fist-bumped.
Mark rolled his eyes, and then he gave Sören an "oh, you" smile, shaking his head, cheeks burning. He didn't need to think about sixty-nine right now - Sören and himself, Anthony and Dooku, or some combination thereof.
"God, we're so short compared to you guys," Sören said; he was six feet and Anthony looked close to the same height.
"Well... as the saying goes, it doesn't matter when you're laying down," Mark quipped, grinning as he watched Sören turn pink again, and now Anthony did as well. Mark winked at Anthony, then realized yes, he was flirting with Anthony. As they walked to the go-karts, Mark noticed Anthony was ogling him and Sören, too - Anthony was staring at Sören's ass just as hard as Sören had been staring at his.
Interesting.
Mark's wish to sit down was granted when he sat in the go-kart. This still wasn't quite the rest he wanted to take, but it could be worse. Sören climbed in the same go-kart as Mark and let him drive. Anthony laughed at the sight of Huan sitting on Sören's lap as Mark drove the go-kart, Huan's tail wagging, tongue lolling in that happy "I go for a ride" smile dogs got. The sight of Anthony driving the go-kart with Dooku riding along, first looking as dignified as possible then relaxing, grinning and laughing, was utterly adorable to Mark, and he noticed Sören giving them a wistful look.
The four raced the go-karts around for close to an hour, and then they decided to go to the restaurant on site. It was standard American fare, nothing terribly special, but nothing Mark wouldn't eat, either.
There was a selection of alcoholic beverages available, and Mark refrained since he had to drive, but Dooku looked at the drink menu and decided to try the hard cider, something that seemed most unlike him. Again, another sign that Anthony was starting to thaw him.
Huan whined when their food arrived, and Mark broke off a small piece of his burger and slipped it to the dog. Sören reached out for the cocktail sauce on the table and poured a pool of it next to his fries for dipping, and Anthony gave him a horrified look.
"That's... that's not ketchup," Anthony said.
"No, it's not," Sören said, dipping a fry into the cocktail sauce before eating. "It's an Icelandic thing."
"Ah, yes, Nicolae told me you're from Iceland."
"Been here awhile, and I was living in Toronto before that, but jæja, that's my home country."
Anthony smiled. "You have a beautiful accent."
Sören blushed. "You have a nice accent too."
Now Anthony blushed. "Yeah, you can thank public school for that." Anthony cocked his head to one side. "Do you get homesick?"
"Sometimes. A part of me is always there." Sören put his hand on his heart. "It comes out in my painting, most of my paintings have been inspired by the Icelandic landscape and our folklore."
"I know Nicolae has some of your work around the house and it's lovely. I'd like to see more of it."
"That can be arranged. Maybe you could even sit in on a class. You ever wanted to try pottery?"
"That sounds fun." Anthony's eyes lit up.
"My ceramics are inspired by Iceland, too, I like to use a little basalt in it." Sören stroked his chin. "If you have an idea for a figurine or statue of something I might be able to make you one in time for Christmas."
"Oh my god, thank you. That's so sweet of you."
Sören bit his lip.
Hells, they're crushing on each other. Mark gnawed an onion ring, fascinated - and frustrated, wanting them to just figure it out already.
"Do you think you could make a swan?" Anthony asked. "I love swans."
Mark made a noise, almost choking. He quickly swallowed and sucked down his drink. Of course you do, Ara.
"I could do that," Sören said.
Anthony looked at Mark. "Have you been to Iceland?"
Mark nodded. "Yeah, Sören took me there last Christmas to meet his brother and his cousin. I think they approved of me. I hope."
"You would have gotten your arse kicked if they didn't," Sören said, nibbling on a fry. Then he frowned. "Those are the only living family members that would approve, anyway." Sören turned back to Anthony. "What about you? Does your family know you're gay? Are you gonna bring Nico round?"
"They know everything," Anthony said - Mark noticed Anthony hadn't specifically replied with gay, which implied they knew he was trans as well; Mark wondered if Sören had figured it out yet - and Anthony went on, "and I told my mum and dad about Nicolae last month, before I moved in. Of course they want to meet him, so we have to start thinking about a holiday."
"Are you going back to Iceland for Christmas this year, Sören?" Dooku asked.
"I'd love to go to Iceland," Anthony said, then clapped a hand over his mouth, realizing he'd interrupted. "Sorry."
"It's OK!" Sören reached over and patted him; Anthony turned pink again. Sören blushed too.
Hells, you two, just snog. Mark found it adorable but he also knew it would probably add to Sören's angst until and unless something gave, somewhere.
"I traveled Europe a bit in my twenties. The longest time I spent was in Sweden," Anthony went on.
"You liked Sweden, já?"
"Yes, that, but also I was, ah, there for medical reasons." Anthony looked off to the side.
Reading between the lines, Anthony had gone to Sweden to get the surgery before it was more commonly available in the UK. Mark didn't remark on that. Sören seemed oblivious, asking, "Oh, are... you all right now?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Anyway, I never got to Iceland. I'd absolutely love to go, though." Anthony glanced over at Dooku, then back at Sören. "Maybe the next time you go to Iceland, we could go with you."
"I wouldn't mind that at all," Sören said, "but to answer your question, Nico, I'm probably not going back this year. That sort of thing is better planned well in advance - Mark surprised me with tickets close enough to the date where it was more expensive and there were fewer options available for what to book. Besides, I was thinking it would be nice to have our second Christmas be the first one at our place... and you guys are welcome to have Christmas with us." Sören gave Mark a hopeful smile.
Mark sighed, feeling that pang of guilt he always felt when he thought about the eventuality of moving. That first Christmas in their shared home would either be the last one or the next-to-last, as the government agency that watched him wanted him to get a move on no later than 2020.
"It would indeed be nice to spend Christmas together," Dooku said. "As you know, I think of you as family."
Mark winced. It was taking him every last ounce of his restraint not to push Sören and Dooku against each other and scream "NOW KISS"... and every last ounce of his restraint to hold back from unglamouring himself and asking what Dooku and Anthony remembered, if anything.
"But before that..." Mark was keen to change the subject, not wanting to feel sad on what was supposed to be a fun, happy outing. Not wanting to scream with frustration. "Your birthday's coming up soon, Sören."
"A little over a month." Sören nibbled on a fry. "There is Halloween to get through first, and even Thanksgiving."
"Yeah, but it's not long after Thanksgiving. You talked about needing months of advance planning for Iceland, well... a month and a half is about the right time to start planning with what you want for your birthday - and where you want to go, if anywhere."
"Jeez." Sören gave a nervous laugh. "I hadn't been thinking about that at all. My mind has been kind of, you know, elsewhere lately." Sören gave Mark a look and Mark knew without it being said that Sören was referring to the fallout of finding out Dooku was in fact gay and Sören had pined away for over a year believing otherwise and had possibly missed an opportunity; Sören had been depressed lately, sleeping more, eating less, not making art like he used to. Sören still got together with Dooku but he otherwise hadn't been wanting to go anywhere - the double date had been Mark's idea, to push Sören out of his shell a little.
"Well, you should think about it," Mark said. "Or maybe not think too much because I know you and I know you analyze and second-guess things to death." Just look around, he spoke into Sören's mind. "So... at the risk of putting you on the spot... what do you really want? Doesn't matter how silly it sounds, if I can make your wish come true, I will."
Sören crinkled his nose and bit his lower lip and Mark knew from that Sören was thinking of something dirty, but he behaved himself. "I'd really like to see snow."
"You can see that every time you look in the mirror," Anthony teased.
Sören gave him a look, then stuck out his tongue. Anthony smirked into his drink. Sören rolled his eyes and said, "ANYWAY, no, really, I want to go someplace where there's a decent amount of snowfall, but not so far we have to fly, and I don't want to have to leave the cat at home. I get separation anxiety."
"OK." Mark nodded. He leaned in to give Sören a little kiss, and referenced something from the very early days of just before they'd gotten together - when Sören was just as oblivious to his interest as he seemed to be to Dooku's and Anthony's now. "As you wish."
"Does that mean winter is coming?" Anthony gave him a wicked grin.
Sören narrowed his eyes and Mark felt Sören kick Anthony under the table. Then Sören said, "That won't be the only thing coming." He waggled his eyebrows.
Anthony and Dooku both turned beetroot. Mark sucked ice into his mouth and began chewing on it to resist the urge to scream.
_
A week later, on his lunch break, Mark had a reservation for a cabin in Bend, Oregon - a three-hour drive one-way from Corvallis. The cabin had two bedrooms, a fireplace, and amenities like a jacuzzi.
The two bedrooms gave Mark an idea, and though he felt a small twinge of guilt about planning behind Sören's back, he wanted it to be a surprise and had a feeling Sören wouldn't object. Before he left campus that day he swung by Dooku's classroom, who was just packing up and would be driving Sören home today, with a detour to Starbucks and perhaps the park.
"Mark," Dooku said, smiling. "As you know, you normally don't come down on your own. To what do I owe this occasion?"
"I have a question for you... well, more like an offer."
Dooku closed the door, and sat down behind his desk. Mark took a seat in one of the student desks, feeling ridiculous - for starters he was way too tall for it. Dooku politely folded his hands.
"As you know," Mark said, not able to resist a little ribbing, "Sören's birthday is coming up on November twenty-fifth. Today I went on Airbnb and booked a cabin in Bend, from the twenty-first through the twenty-eighth. The cabin has two bedrooms, it's plenty big for four people and two cats. You mean the world to Sören, and I thought I would ask you and Anthony to come along to celebrate Thanksgiving and his birthday. He doesn't know yet I asked you, but like I said, he cares about you a great deal and I'm sure he would love having one of his favorite people there."
Dooku took a moment to consider and then he nodded. "I think Anthony would like that, as well."
"OK, good." Mark breathed a small sigh of relief. "Also, since all four of us are going, I thought I'd rent an SUV to save on gas and carbon."
Mark could hear Dooku broadcasting petrol and tried very hard not to laugh.
"Who shall drive?" Dooku asked. "Would you like to take turns?"
"That's fine by me." Mark stood up, came over and shook Dooku's hand. The touch made Mark tingly. "Do me a favor and keep it a surprise. I really don't think he'll object."
Dooku nodded. "Will do. And Mark?"
Mark stopped just before he could turn and head out.
Dooku exhaled. "Thank you for taking care of him. He... means a lot to me, as well."
Mark thought about asking Dooku point-blank if he was in love with Sören - he already knew the answer to that - but he kept that impulse in check. All in due time. He had a feeling the winter magic of Bend - and that fireplace and jacuzzi - would be just what everyone needed to make things happen.
It was going to be a hell of a wait, though, still a month away.
"You're welcome," Mark said. "Thank you for looking out for him, too."
Their eyes held, then Mark gave a polite little wave and strode out. Thinking of Fingolfin, lost and found again... feeling his own ache, hoping that when the time came he wouldn't be left out in the cold.