Hello, It's Me: Chapter 12

On Friday November sixteenth, a little less than a week before the impending vacation to Bend, Mark began renting the SUV that would take them to Bend - explaining to Sören it was more practical for winter condition roads, and that he was thinking of selling his Jaguar and buying a SUV outright so he wanted to get a feel for driving one - and they went on another double date with Anthony and Dooku. Since Mark and Dooku were taller, they rode in the front seat, with Sören and Anthony in the back. Being in close proximity to Anthony in the back seat made Sören horny and flustered and giddy and silly.

They were on their way to a trendy fusion restaurant in Portland that Anthony had suggested and apparently frequented while he was living in southeast Portland, before his move to Corvallis. It still seemed surreal to Sören that Dooku not only had a male partner but now they were living together. He wanted to be happy for them, but it still hurt. He really wanted to dislike Anthony, and he couldn't.

If his continued feelings for Dooku didn't make things complicated enough, now Sören was starting to fall for Anthony, too. He wasn't just ridiculously attractive but he was sweet, intelligent, and funny. And the sort of passion that Anthony had for justice - first as a criminal defense barrister, fighting for those targeted by a racist and classist system in Britain, then as a civil rights lawyer in the States in the age of Trump when Republicans seemed hell-bent on taking the country back to the 1950s - was a huge turn-on to Sören. He liked people who were principled and willing to fight for what was right, which he knew was a holdover from his life as Fëanor, when he'd stood up to the tyranny of the Valar. And he knew Finarfin had been willing to die for him, which was why Fëanor had made him go back to Valinor and renounce him.

You didn't listen. But then, Sören knew stubborn was in their blood.

Once again, he found himself wondering if Anthony had any dreams, any memories, of their past. He got distracted by looking at Anthony's ass on the way in, and then he tried to focus on the menu. They started with beverages - Sören got an orange soda.

Dooku snorted at Sören's choice of drink. "For someone who once aspired to be a doctor, you have some wretched habits."

"Takk." Sören grinned, knowing Dooku was just ribbing him.

"At least it wasn't Mountain Dew," Mark said.

"Well, part of being an adult is doing what I want."

"If you call that being an adult," Dooku quipped.

Sören responded by loudly blowing bubbles in his orange soda, which made Anthony and Mark laugh, while Dooku rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly. When the waiter came over to take their orders, Dooku said, "And the kids' menu for this one," pointing to Sören.

Sören blew more bubbles in his drink.

Sören didn't order from the kids' menu - he got sushi pizza, both in the spirit of adventure and to horrify Dooku - but the waiter went along with the banter and brought over a coloring sheet and crayons for Sören. "All right!" Sören yelled, genuinely pleased, and set to work coloring. The coloring sheet had a tiger in the jungle, and Sören decided to further tease Dooku by coloring the tiger in garish rainbow colors reminiscent of Lisa Frank. Anthony watched, amused.

"That might be your best work yet, Sören," Mark said dryly.

Anthony took out his wallet and handed Sören a $5. "I'd like to hang that up on the fridge." At Dooku's noise of protest, Anthony just smiled - Sören cackled, loving that Anthony was in on taking the piss out of him too.

When Sören was finished coloring, making the flowers in the jungle an assortment of rainbow colors just like the tiger, he signed it per his usual artist's signature and handed it to Anthony. "There, a Sören Sigurðsson original. It might be famous someday."

"Does it have a title? So I can curate it for collector purposes." Anthony winked.

Sören decided Anthony needed some trolling too. "Jæja, it's called Tony the Tiger."

Anthony facepalmed and groaned, then kicked Sören under the table. Sören kicked him back; Anthony's brogue slid up Sören's ankle, which Sören was sure was an accident, but it still made him wonder if Anthony was flirting, and the return of that wicked grin didn't help. Sören fought back the fantasy of going under the table and blowing him.

"You may live," Anthony said.

"Does that mean I have T-word privileges now?" Sören asked, referring to the name Tony.

Anthony narrowed his eyes.

Sören leaned back, cheeks burning as he made a confession that he felt sheepish about. "You know, I'd thought you were a girl."

Anthony's eyes widened and then he gave Sören a murderous look. Sören tensed, heart skipping a beat - he hadn't meant to offend - and then Anthony turned to Dooku, glaring even harder, looking ready to spit. "You told him I'm trans?"

Dooku blinked. "No, Anthony, I -"

"Oh shit." Sören facepalmed, then clapped his hand over his mouth, realizing how this looked. "Oh god. No, no, that's not what I meant..."

Anthony turned back to Sören, still looking furious, but he waited for Sören to go on.

Sören quickly explained. "He just called you 'Tony', he didn't specify gender, and I automatically thought Toni-with-an-I because, well... Nico never told me he was gay, and we've been friends for close to two years now."

"I assumed you knew," Dooku said.

Sören raised an eyebrow. He did, in fact, feel like an idiot for not realizing, but... "I don't like to assume based on stereotypes. Just because you're a bear and a bit of a dandy and you like classical music and opera and theatre and ballet and you cook and you go to antique shops and... oh god, fuck me sideways."

Anthony's facial expression had softened a little, but Sören still felt like he'd stepped on Anthony's feelings without meaning to. "You're a trans guy? I didn't know," Sören said. "I couldn't tell."

"Yeah." Anthony took a quick look around, but all of the other restaurant patrons were engrossed in their own food and conversations. "I started living as male in 2003 and started T and had top surgery in 2005."

"In Sweden."

"Yes, I had the surgery in Sweden." Anthony nodded.

"When Karen mentioned you to me she called you Anthony and used male pronouns, so I assume you were already..."

Anthony nodded again. "Karen's only known me post-transition."

"OK. Well, if this puts your mind at ease at all, I'm totally fine with it, and... my sister is a trans woman. Uh, was a trans woman."

"What happened? Did she detransition -"

"No, she was murdered." Sören scowled. He didn't like thinking about it, every time it threatened to undo him and send him into a meltdown of rage and grief. Mark put his hand on Sören's knee now, and Sören felt Mark's hand throbbing, warm, sending a tingling sensation through Sören's body - Sören felt like a weighted blanket made of light was wrapping around him, and his breathing slowed.

"I'm so sorry." Anthony's face fell.

"Yeah, so am I. Anyway..." Sören took a deep breath and tried to smile, soaking up Mark's soothing energy like a sponge. "The 'T-word privileges' joke was about calling you Tony, not slurs."

Anthony nodded. "I get it." Then he smirked. "You honestly thought I was a girl because you assumed Toni-with-an-I."

"Like Toni Basil, who sings 'Hey Mickey'. Sorry, I grew up with 80s music."

Anthony laughed - it was good to hear him laugh after the tense moment - and then Anthony turned to Dooku, who was obviously relieved after the exchange, and with that evil grin again, Anthony started chanting:

Oh Nicky, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Nicky, hey Nicky


Sören almost spat his drink. Mark shook with silent laughter. Dooku pinched the bridge of his nose, wincing like he was in pain. Not able to resist trolling Dooku, Sören joined Anthony for the rest of it:

Oh Nicky, you're so fine
You're so fine, you blow my mind
Hey Nicky, hey Nicky


"As you know..."

"Yes, we know, Nicky is 'unacceptable'. But I still owed you one for calling me Tony to someone who hadn't met me yet." Anthony gave Dooku a playful slap on the back.

Anthony and Sören smiled at each other and then Sören said - wanting to give just a little more reassurance, "Like I said, I seriously couldn't tell. You..." Sören's face burned again. "You're a very handsome guy."

"Thanks." Anthony's cheeks went pink and he flashed that dazzling smile. Now Sören's heart was racing for an entirely different reason. "You're pretty cute yourself. You know, I'm honestly surprised Nicolae didn't snatch you up."

Dooku turned pink as well, but said nothing, looking off to the side - just in time for the waiter to arrive with their food.

Sören tried not to scream, his head ringing with Anthony's words. You're pretty cute yourself. Sören felt like he could fly across the room much like Rudolph in that old cartoon. He thinks I'm cuuuuuuuute!

Sören tried to pull himself together and neither speculate on Dooku's silence with Anthony's remark, nor flail internally about Anthony calling him cute. He made himself focus on his food. Sören loved his sushi pizza, but what Anthony got looked even better - a plate of chicken and pineapple fried rice. "That looks delicious," Sören said, and stopped himself from adding your food looks good too, thinking flirting openly with Anthony might rankle Dooku's nerves.

"It's my usual when I come here. You should try it. Of course, I'm kind of a pineapple junkie." Anthony grinned.

Sören remembered the anecdotes he'd heard of how pineapple made vaginal secretions taste better, and his face was on fire again. He shoved the sushi pizza in his mouth, trying very hard not to think about what Anthony tasted like. Trying not to think about Dooku and Anthony having sex, Dooku's cock in and out of Anthony's cunt, Dooku eating Anthony's pussy. Trying not to think about eating Anthony out, himself. It had been eleven months since the last time Sören had eaten pussy and he missed it... and here was this extremely hot guy in front of him who happened to have a vagina. Sören already had a crush on Anthony when he assumed Anthony was cis and had a penis, but now Sören found him even hotter. He felt a little self-conscious, not wanting Anthony to think he was some kind of fetishist who reduced him to genitalia - not wanting Anthony to think anything at all, since he was with Dooku, off-limits, Sören wasn't going to betray his best friend by going after his best friend's partner...

...But as Anthony continued to eat his pineapple fried rice, Sören's thoughts continued to go deeper and deeper into perverted territory, thinking about eating Anthony and making him lose it, coming over and over again. Sucking on Anthony's cock while Dooku fucked him. Sucking Anthony's juices off Dooku's cock...

Jesus fucking Christ, stop it.

"Are you all right, Sören?" Dooku asked, meeting Sören's eyes. "You look deep in thought."

"Oh jæja, I'm fine. Just had a long week." Sören gave a nervous laugh. Something else is long. He was getting hard in his trousers, enough to shift in his seat uncomfortably.

Even after some deep breaths and trying to think about non-sexual things, Sören only managed to get his cock down to half-mast. When they were waiting for their check, Sören excused himself to the bathroom. The men's room was single-occupancy, and as soon as Sören locked the door he freed his aching cock and jerked off furiously, mind feverish with fantasies of Dooku eating Anthony, Dooku fucking Anthony... eating and fucking Anthony himself. Being fucked by Dooku while he was inside Anthony. Sucking Anthony's cock as Dooku plunged in and out, taking occasional teasing licks at Dooku's cock. Sören came fast and hard, doubling over the sink, gasping for breath as his knees buckled, spilling cum all over the edge of the sink and the floor.

He looked at himself in the mirror, face flushed, eyes glassy, and quickly tried to clean up, both his cock and the evidence of his masturbation. He splashed cold water on his hot cheeks, feeling shame for being unable to control himself like this...

...still feeling desire. Burning to make those fantasies a reality. But of course, Dooku had gone two years without telling him he was gay, and even if he had, not every gay man wanted to have sex with every man. Anthony was clean-cut and preppy where Sören was a bit of rough. Anthony was British and cultured, Sören was an artist but he was also, as the kids said these days, "a basic bitch". Sören didn't think Anthony and Dooku would be open to polyamory or swinging - even if they had been in their past lives as Fingolfin and Finarfin - but he didn't think he was Dooku's type. And as far as Anthony, maybe Anthony was just being polite by calling him cute.

"Fuck." Sören frowned into the mirror.

Sören tried to act nonchalant as he went back to the table and now that they had paid and tipped, everyone was ready to leave.

"Where to now?" Mark asked, looking at Anthony and Dooku.

Dooku glanced over at Sören. "Since your birthday is in a week, perhaps you should decide, as an early birthday present."

"Oh." Sören was surprised by that. He thought it over as they walked out to the minivan.

"Sören, baby, don't overthink this," Mark said, climbing into the driver's seat.

"OK." Sören took a deep breath and spoke the first idea that came to him. "Mark, we haven't been clubbing in awhile." Sören used to love to go to clubs and parties when he lived in Toronto - dancing was therapeutic, in a way. He had stopped after he'd gotten roofied, but then after he and Mark got together, Sören felt safe enough to start going again occasionally, with Mark. Indeed, there was something special about dancing with the Song himself.

"I could go for that. We're dressed for it."

They had all dressed up a bit for dinner - Sören was wearing a black poet shirt and black BDU pants, Anthony was wearing a white button-down shirt, black suspenders and black trousers, Dooku was wearing a black vest and black trousers with a royal blue button-down shirt, and Mark was wearing a white button-down shirt, black pinstripe vest and black trousers. Their outfits would still be acceptable for a nightclub.

"I suppose this is another first," Dooku mused.

"Oh god." Sören facepalmed - he knew Dooku probably hated the idea. "We don't have to -"

"I did ask that it be your decision and I knew that might mean you suggesting an activity I wouldn't have necessarily chosen myself," Dooku said. "But I've never been to a nightclub, and... I might as well try it at least once."

Sören turned to Anthony. "OK, what did you do to him?"

Anthony's laughter rang out. "Do you want the X-rated version, or...?"

Sören giggled, but then he bit back a groan - he really didn't need his libido going again, especially after just having jerked off. He felt like a horny teenager, with sex permanently on the brain.

They decided to go to a gay club, to reduce the risk of harassment, and after Mark did some research on Google on his phone, he drove out to a gay nightclub in the Pearl district of Portland. Parking was a pain in the ass - they had to park several blocks away and walk there, but Sören was already excited, looking forward to dancing for awhile, losing himself in the music. Losing himself in the beauty of Mark dancing... in the magic of Mark using the Song to influence the DJ's selections, like a custom playlist.

As they walked in, the obligatory Madonna song started playing, "Human Nature". Since Dooku wasn't driving, he went over to the bar and hung back, while Mark and Sören got out on the dance floor right away.

You punished me for telling you my fantasies
I'm breakin' all the rules I didn't make
Express yourself don't repress yourself
You took my words and made a trap for silly fools
You held me down and tried to make me break
Express yourself don't repress yourself
Did I say something true?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about sex
(I must've been crazy)
Did I have a point of view?
Oops, I didn't know I couldn't talk about you


Mark bent Sören over and spanked his ass, right there on the dance floor. Sören loved it, giggling.

The next song was another throwback to the 1990s, and made Sören wonder if Mark knew what he'd really been up to on his bathroom break.

I want a freak in the morning
A freak in the evening, just like me
I need a roughneck brotha that can satisfy me, just for me
If you are that kind of man
'Cause I'm that kind of girl
I got a freaky secret, everybody sing
'Cause we don't give a damn about a thing!

'Cause I will be a freak until the day, until the dawn
And we can (Pump, pump)
All through the night till the early morn
Come on and I will take you around the 'hood on a gangsta lean
'Cause we can (Pump, pump)
Any time of day, it's all good for me


Sören and Mark's dancing got more sexual, bumping and grinding, hands sliding over each other. Sören was feeling flustered and horny again by the time the song was done, and cracked up laughing when the next song started - "This is how we do it," Montell Jordan sang.

"You know..." Sören raised an eyebrow.

Mark winked.

Out of the corner of his eye, Sören saw Anthony dragging a red-faced Dooku out on the dance floor. As Sören and Mark held onto each other, swaying, Sören couldn't help but watch Anthony lead Dooku around, stepping, getting Dooku to work his hips a little bit. Dooku glanced over, saw Sören watching, and Sören grinned and waved.

"You look fabulous!" Sören yelled.

Dooku rolled his eyes, but then he beamed adorably, and there was Anthony's smile again.

They continued dancing through a few more songs, then Sören needed to take a pause to catch his breath and Mark decided to go to the bar. "You want anything?" Mark asked.

"Just some water," Sören said.

Sören waited out the next song and Mark came back with the water. After Sören had his water, Mark brought him back out to the dance floor, and when the next song was done, Dooku and Anthony came over. Dooku cleared his throat and gave a small, polite bow to Sören. "May I have this dance?"

Sören laughed at the formality, finding it adorable. He took Dooku's hands and Dooku led him further out onto the floor. The next song to come on was something more current - Sören recognized the breathy voice of Rochelle Jordan, to a strong and sensual rhythm. Sören and Dooku moved close, holding each other, rocking together.

As the song wore on Sören felt like it had been pulled right out of his heart, expressing the pain he could not express, ripping open wounds all over again.

So you wanna know how I feel, it's like I lost my sunshine.
I'm trying to move on, but hurts to heal.

That's what's wrong with me, I tell you, we were meant to be,
But it's unnecessary, not if you are happy.

Caring, wishing, dreaming, you gotta hold for me,
I'm falling, slipping, tripping, I know we were meant to be.

I can feel it in my heart, am I losing a friend,
Do you feel me discontent? ‘Cause baby, I am.

I'm losing my mind, said I feel like I'm going crazy.
I'm losing my mind, ‘cause I feel, wanted you to be my baby.
I'm losing my mind, said I feel like I'm going crazy.
I'm losing my mind, ‘cause I feel, wanted you to be my baby.


Sören looked into Dooku's dark chocolate eyes and felt that tightness in his throat, ache in his chest. Their eyes held, and Dooku's grip on Sören tightened. It took Sören all of his willpower not to take Dooku's face in his hands and kiss him right there. It took Sören all of his strength not to cry, not to fall apart. He put on a very brave and very fake smile, and Dooku smiled back, melting his heart... bleeding out.

Sören rested his head on Dooku's shoulder and they continued moving together - Dooku was surprisingly graceful - and then the song was done and they pulled apart, holding hands for a moment, with Mark and Anthony coming back over. But instead of Mark leading him into another dance, it was Anthony.

Rochelle Jordan sounded a lot like Aaliyah, and it seemed like a natural choice for "Rock the Boat" to be the next song. Sören still felt called out, like Mark could feel the sexual tension and was just fueling that fire, like a troll. It didn't help that Anthony was a very sensual dancer, thrusting against him, and Sören wondered if Anthony was versatile and what he was like with a strap-on. Something told Sören he was a very good lover. Sören thrust back at Anthony, and Anthony's hands moved from Sören's shoulders to Sören's waist, pulling him closer. Their eyes locked, and Sören's heart beat faster, cock rising. He felt like Anthony was fucking him with those sexy green eyes.

Boy, you gotta stroke
Before drifting me deeper
You're there now, hold me close
Boy, let's take this overboard now

I want you to
Rock the boat, rock the boat
Rock the boat, rock the boat
Work the middle, work the middle
Work the middle, work the middle


Anthony leaned in closer and purred, "You are very, very cute." He gave Sören's ass a playful smack, then spun Sören around, his chest against Sören's back, his arms around Sören's waist, grinding his ass.

Change positions
New positions, new positions
Stroke it for me, stroke it for me
Stroke it for me, stroke it for me


Anthony smacked Sören's ass again.

Sören felt ready to come in his pants. Somehow, he made it through the song without dragging Anthony off to the restroom and mauling him. Sören made himself look at Dooku - who was hug-dancing with Mark - and Sören fought the urge to ask to have a foursome. It was, after all, one thing for Anthony to flirt like this, another thing to cross the line into sex. But before Anthony went back to Dooku, Anthony winked at Sören, and when he and Dooku started dancing to the next song, Anthony blew Sören a kiss. Dooku saw it and didn't even seem to mind, chuckling.

Mark had a smug look on his face.

Sören narrowed his eyes. He pushed his thoughts into Mark's mind. I don't know what kind of game you're playing, but you're playing with fire.

Mark's eyes twinkled. Fëanor, this entire fucking family is made of fire.

A few songs later, they were ready to go. The ride back to Corvallis was almost torture, sitting next to Anthony, resisting the urge to start making out with him. But the worst was yet to come. When they dropped Anthony and Dooku off, Sören got hugs from each of them... and Anthony's hug lingered.

"Good night, cutie." Anthony gave Sören a squeeze, and a peck on the cheek.

Sören was a flushed, giggling mess when he got in the passenger's seat.

Mark said nothing until they got to their street. As the minivan drove closer to their house, Mark finally said, "You know, it's OK."

"It's not OK."

"You should have taken the opportunity to invite them home with us, to 'sleep over.'" Mark made air quotes.

"I highly doubt Nico would have been fine with that."

Mark made noises, but he didn't argue. Instead, once they were out of the SUV, he kissed Sören at the front door. And didn't stop kissing him. They got their clothes off right away, and kissed all the way to the bedroom, until Sören shoved Mark down on the bed and climbed over him, cock ragingly hard, needing relief now.

Needing to forget the pain of the lost cause that was Dooku's heart. Needing to forget that feeling of losing his mind, going crazy, living with what could have been.


_

"Náro!"

Dooku woke himself up with that shout... and then there was the terrible cold. Shivering, teeth chattering. The heat was on, but it felt like Dooku had spent hours in the November night air, chilling him to the bone. He quickly pulled the covers up and then he saw Anthony sitting up watching him - helping to tuck him in.

"Tony." Dooku gave Anthony a little pat, and then chuckled, feeling self-conscious, before shuddering again, chattering. "I'm sorry if I disturbed you. I had a bad dream..."

"I was already awake." Anthony gave a wry smile. "Seems to be the night for it."

"You too?"

"Yours seems worse, maybe." Anthony started petting him, and leaned in to kiss his forehead, then slid back down under the covers. They lay on their sides, looking in each other's eyes in the dim blue glow of the nightlight. "Maybe if you talk about it, it might help? You seem really shook up."

Dooku exhaled sharply. "It's a recurring dream but it was especially vivid tonight."

"OK..."

Dooku closed his eyes, not wanting to relive it - it had felt so real - but he would try Anthony's suggestion and see if talking about it made it less real. Made it hurt less. "I dreamt of Sören."

Anthony sighed.

Dooku felt like he should apologize, but he'd get to that. He went on. "But Sören was... different. Clean-shaven. Longer hair, straighter hair. Grey eyes." Dooku gave a nervous laugh. "Pointy ears like an Elf. It was still unmistakably him. And you were in the dream, but you were..."

"Blond."

Dooku's mouth opened. A shiver went down his spine, this time not from the lingering icy cold of the dream. His hair stood on end, heart beating faster. He wanted to ask how Anthony knew that, but he decided to keep going. "The three of us were with a large group of people and we were wandering. It was a place like the arctic, but nowhere that exists. A seemingly endless frozen river. Seemingly endless ice and snow and it was cold. So cold."

"That's why you were shivering."

"Yes. It was terrible. We had no idea when - or if - we'd find someplace less hostile, someplace we could rebuild. We were all demoralized, frightened, defeated. And..." Dooku's voice trailed off; he was coming to the awkward part.

"And." Anthony raised an eyebrow.

"Sören was like a hurt, scared, lost boy. Wanting my comfort. Wanting my... touch. We had been intimate before, in the dreams, but I pushed him away. Our father had been murdered - we had been brothers, not just lovers - and I felt like we were being punished for our sin. I still desired him, still ached for him, still loved him so much, but I felt as if giving in would bring us even more punishment, even more grief. I carried such a burden of guilt, both in feeling we had been punished for our forbidden relationship... and guilt for refusing him, denying him, when he needed me the most, when he had lost everything and this was all he had left. Even so, I would still follow him to the ends of the earth, but then I found my ships on fire, I couldn't follow after all."

There was a long, long pause. An awkward pause. A painful pause. Dooku felt like he'd said too much, even though Anthony knew about his feelings for Sören - feelings that Dooku was trying to get over, and failing. Dooku was afraid he'd hurt Anthony with his confession, but Anthony had asked for honesty, so there it was. Now he was afraid Anthony was going to lay down the law and tell him to choose.

But instead, Anthony hugged him, and kissed his cheek.

"I'm sorry," Dooku said. "I know how symbolic that seems of my feelings -"

"Nicolae." Their eyes met. "You're not going to ask me how I know my hair was blond in your dreams?"

Dooku's mouth opened again. He'd been so caught up in the awkward tension that he'd momentarily forgotten about that little bomb. Now it was back, and Dooku braced for a harder impact.

"I have dreams like that too. About the three of us looking like Elves - you're younger and have blue eyes like flame - and we're in some Elf kingdom where I have a beach palace and spend a lot of time gardening and hanging out with birds - especially swans - and I owned a pair of ravens I used as messengers... I've dreamt about the ravens for years, actually... and I've had dreams about the icy place. Night before last, Sören told me to go back, in my dreams, turn away from the frozen riverland and head back to the Elf kingdom, to my palace, my beach, my swans. To... renounce him. To save my life and my children's lives. Sure, that seems symbolic too - I can't blame you for being hung up on him, because I have a thing for him too. He's hard to resist."

"Indeed." Dooku found it somewhat comforting that Anthony shared the attraction to Sören.

"But it seems... more than that. You're going to think this is crazy -"

"This entire conversation is already way past that point, so go ahead."

Anthony cleared his throat. "Over a year ago, I dreamt of Sören before I met him. Not as an Elf, but as a human, but in different circumstances each time. Different timelines. At first I thought I was just having erotic dreams about Jon Snow -"

Dooku couldn't help laughing at that. Anthony laughed too.

"But it wasn't like anything on Game of Thrones at all. It was different modern settings. We were in Australia, in one dream. We were in Harry Potter, in another. In London. In Brighton. In Paris. In Indiana. Sodding Indiana. It was like watching different movies or shows, different things happening... but the same cast, he was always there, always my partner. And then, after months of those 'Jon Snow dreams', one day I was in Portland and I had been in a hurry to get somewhere before it closed and I drove a little too close to your car - I remember the Bernie Sanders sticker - and at the petrol station, Sören got out of the car and screamed at me for tailgating, he said something like 'If you like riding my ass so much, why don't you put a ring on it and marry it', and I was completely spooked at the sight of him, and then two fucking ravens swooped down out of nowhere."

"I recall that now that you mention it. I'd been wondering why you seemed familiar to me." Then Dooku recalled something else. "Sören acted very oddly after that. He asked me to test his memory, like who was the current President of the United States, to make sure he wasn't hallucinating."

"Jesus Christ, I wonder if he has these dreams too."

Another chill went through Dooku. He found himself holding onto Anthony tighter. He had rejected his Catholic upbringing long ago but now he couldn't shake the fact that this was too many coincidences. There was something going on here. Something Other.

"It's unsettling," Dooku said honestly. "But at least we're not alone in the strangeness."

"Or in how we feel about a certain Jon Snow lookalike."

Dooku laughed.

"Who didn't even know you were gay." Anthony gave Dooku a little shove.

"No, apparently not."

"And you never told him how you feel? Christ, if I'd met him before I met you, I would be all over him."

"I notice you were quite up close and personal with him this evening."

Anthony gave a throaty laugh. "Yeah. You're not upset?"

"No. I hope Mark isn't, either."

"He didn't look upset. If anything he looked like he was encouraging it."

Dooku said nothing - he didn't know what to say - and then Anthony had something else to add. "What if, during our upcoming trip to Bend, we talk to Mark and Sören and see if they're willing to play with us?"

Dooku had a feeling what he was on about, but wanted to make sure. "Play... meaning..."

"Yes. Meaning sex. A lot of gay men - by all means not universal but also not a tiny minority - are in open relationships, or committed multi-partner relationships or they're what Dan Savage calls 'monogamish', where they play with someone once in awhile. I think the four of us could have a lot of fun together... of course if you're not into the idea, forget I asked, it's not a dealbreaker if you -"

"I... like the idea." Dooku's face burned, mind racing with a thousand erotic possibilities of the four of them making love together. He'd fantasized about threesomes with Mark and Sören, and the idea of a foursome was even more decadent. Debauched. Delicious. Dooku's cock started to rise against Anthony's thigh. "I don't know if they'd like the idea."

"Sören had some wood going on the way to his bathroom break at the restaurant. I'm a bit more sensitive to noticing bulges because I pack. Pretty sure his dick would like the idea."

Dooku exploded with laughter - Anthony had corrupted him - and he gave Anthony a kiss, still laughing. "You're as terrible as he is, if not worse."

"See, we're all perfect for each other."

Dooku sighed. "I hope you're not wrong. We've been friends for two years, I've known he was gay all this time, and he never expressed any interest in me. Maybe he thinks I'm too old -"

"You... didn't... notice the way he was looking at you when you danced together. He loves you, Nicolae."

Dooku closed his eyes, remembering that dance - the words of the song, he never thought a R&B song would articulate his feelings so well - remembering those beautiful brown eyes. He hadn't wanted to hope, hadn't wanted to interpret possible signals.

"Anyway. Sometime during our trip to Bend, we'll get this sorted out. In the meantime, I don't think we'd keep dreaming like this if it wasn't meant to be, somehow." Anthony gave Dooku a squeeze, and another kiss. The gentle, sweet kiss deepened, their tongues meeting, playing, and Anthony's hand strayed to palm the hard bulge in Dooku's pajama pants. "For now... let me make you warm."

With that, Anthony rolled Dooku onto his back and soon, nothing else existed but the fire of passion.

chapter 13 | return to Under The Rose | return to index