Shades Of Silver-Gold: Chapter 5

The next day, Maglor began the process of returning to life-as-normal. The boys met with their tutor, and Maglor sat at his harp. He didn't feel inspired to compose just yet - that would probably take some time, getting settled in - but it was still comforting to practice scales and play older songs. When he was ready to take a break from his music, he found Maedhros exercising, and they went for a walk together down to the beach. They didn't say much - neither of them were ones for small talk, and Maglor suspected that resuming life in Valinor was probably just as surreal to Maedhros as it was to him, if not moreso, and Maedhros needed space with his thoughts and feelings.

Maglor definitely had too many thoughts and feelings. His mind's eye kept replaying the passion he'd shared with Finarfin last night, his fantasy made flesh. He was still a little sore from the flogging, as well as the hard fuck. Yet he was hungry for more, but Finarfin was keeping his distance today, like nothing had happened. Maglor understood the need for discretion, what they had done was against the Laws on multiple levels and they couldn't flaunt it, but he was still aching for a hug, a kiss, something to assure him what they'd done last night was real, and there would be more.

When the boys were done with their lessons, Maglor and Maedhros went over what they'd learned today, and then they played a ball toss game. Finarfin watched from a distance with a sad but fond smile on his face. After the game was over, Maglor took a few steps towards his uncle, but Finarfin turned and walked off, and Maglor tried to disguise his disappointment.

Dinner was pleasant but a little tense - Finarfin was trying to avoid looking at him, and Maglor was also trying to avoid staring at Finarfin, not wanting to give any clues to others what they'd done. In the evening Maglor returned to his harp and wondered if Finarfin would drop by to "take a walk" that would lead them through the secret passages to his room - Finarfin hadn't given Maglor the spare key yet. Time wore on and Maglor's disappointment and frustration got the better of him and he decided to bathe, go to bed and try to sleep it off, and he'd talk to Finarfin about the key and more details of their arrangement in the morrow.

But Maglor couldn't get to sleep. Even though he'd slept alone for years, save the occasional cuddling with Maedhros when he was sad about Fingon, apparently one night sleeping in Finarfin's arms had ruined him for sleeping alone again. Worse, Maglor worried maybe Finarfin was having guilt for what happened - love between men was one thing, incest entirely another - and maybe Finarfin was having second thoughts. The idea that there might not be anything more between them tore at Maglor, and he tossed and turned, feeling like his mind was on fire.

He decided to get up and get some fresh air. He went out to the rose garden to admire the blooms glowing softly under starlight and moonlight, and there he found Finarfin. This time, Finarfin went directly to him and pulled him close, and Maglor could have wept with relief.

Maglor leaned on Finarfin's shoulder, trying not to let Finarfin feel his fear, but when they drew back, Finarfin looked into Maglor's eyes and patted him, and said simply, "I know."

They went down into the tunnel beneath the fake wishing well again. This time instead of going through a series of doors that led from Finarfin's study to his bedroom, they went through a different door, one that led to what appeared to be a cell, lit by the blue glow of Fëanorian lamps. Maglor swallowed hard as he saw the shackles. "Did you decide I am to be a prisoner after all -"

Finarfin gave a deep, throaty chuckle. "Only if you want to be, Kanafinwë. Come." He took Maglor by the hand and led him in further.

Now Maglor saw it wasn't a cell, but a dungeon. Against one wall was a diagonal cross, with cuffs for the hands and feet. There was a rack of whips, and another rack of floggers. A cane, a riding crop. A cross-shaped table, with restraints for the hands and feet. Around the room were iron candelabras holding beeswax candles. Finarfin lit them, soft golden light mingling with the blue light of the lamps.

"This is my play room," Finarfin said. "It has been a very, very, very long time since anyone has been here. I come down occasionally to dust. And remember."

"Remember... the last person you brought here?"

Finarfin nodded solemnly.

Maglor was curious and yet dreading the information, feeling an irrational surge of jealousy. Of course Finarfin would have had other lovers. "What happened to him?"

"He is dead."

"May I ask who -"

"No," Finarfin said. He took a deep breath. "Someday, possibly maybe, I will tell you who my submissive pet was, but not for a long while. Not until I think you can handle it."

Maglor flinched; of course Finarfin had picked up on the jealousy. "I'm sorry."

"No need to apologize, Kanafinwë." Finarfin turned to face him, and once again took Maglor in his arms. "Before we go any further, a few rules."

Maglor waited.

"The first is that we must be discrete. I know that pains you. It pains me as well. But we cannot risk gossip, and an inquiry by the Valar. We will carve out time for each other, and find our own paradise, as we spend eternity together, but we must do it with caution. If it seems like I am ignoring you - like today - I am not. You have been on my mind all day. I am trying to be careful."

"I understand," Maglor said, feeling a twinge of guilt for ever doubting.

"You cannot tell anyone. Not the boys, when they are old enough to hear of such matters. Not any new friends you make. Not even Nelyafinwë, unless it is absolutely necessary."

Maglor didn't like keeping things from his brother - and he didn't think Maedhros would judge them for incest, considering his own - but he nodded, knowing it was dangerous for anyone to overhear such a conversation.

"The next is that yes, I have had other lovers, and one in particular. That was a long time ago, and I am still grieving his loss, enough so that it is not likely I will look for other partners. You are it. However, should that change, I will tell you. Likewise - I do not expect you to be exclusive with me. I do expect you to tell me if you take any other lovers. With the caveat that our secret must be kept and so you would be introducing me as your guardian and not your lover, I would like to meet them and make sure they are suitable. Please forgive me for being a bit protective of you, but after all that has happened -"

"I understand," Maglor said again, aching for the grief Finarfin carried alone all this time. He at least had Maedhros's companionship, however much Maedhros was a shell of the man he once was.

"The next is that I want this to be mutually enjoyable for both of us. As I told you last night, I enjoy activities that are a bit rough in nature." Finarfin gestured to the whips and the floggers. "If at any time something I'm doing is too much for you, you no longer enjoy it, I want you to tell me to stop. Agreed?"

"Yes," Maglor said, though he didn't think there was possibly anything Finarfin could do to him that he would not love. He never thought he'd be into the idea of being beaten or whipped, but something about submitting to Finarfin - trusting, surrendering - made him melt.

Maglor thought that would be the last of it, but it wasn't. "The last rule I have." Finarfin gave Maglor a stern look; Maglor braced himself, expecting it to be about the Silmarils. It was not. It was somewhat more painful.

"I have heard that your mother is aware you are back in the realm, and your mother wishes to see -"

"Do not call her that." Maglor felt himself scowling.

Finarfin gave a small nod and then a deep sigh that Maglor recognized as relief. Finarfin and Nerdanel had never liked each other; Fingolfin hadn't cared much for the woman either. When he was too young to know what was going on, Maglor had sensed cool politeness covering cold hostility and wondered why; as he got older and Nerdanel spent less and less time with the boys, and once all the boys were grown, his father increasingly retreated to his forge - Nerdanel sending him there in tears - and Nerdanel made remarks in front of their sons calling Fëanor "stupid" and "mad", Maglor started to have a better idea, and of course Nerdanel had not come along on either the exile to Formenos or out of Aman.

"I was going to say," Finarfin said softly, "that while I will not forbid you from associating with that woman, you will not do it here under my roof. It seems I don't need to say that."

"No." Maglor folded his arms reflexively, then caught himself and shifted out of his defensive posture - Finarfin was not the one he was angry with.

"She is not welcome here," Finarfin said. "As far as I'm concerned, she is partly responsible for your father's death. She hurt him deeply, and perhaps if he had known warmth and love in his marriage he would have made some different choices." Finarfin shrugged.

Maglor looked down and closed his eyes, once again seeing a vision of Fëanor dying in his arms. Calling out for his brothers.

Maglor felt it necessary to tell Finarfin now - he had told Fingolfin before the end. "He cried your name, and Ñolo's, before -"

"I know."

Though Finarfin spoke softly, the words still echoed across the dungeon walls. Maglor felt a chill down his spine, heart beating a little faster in the presence of the power Finarfin was too good at concealing.

Finarfin looked away - far away. "I felt it. I heard it."

"I'm sorry."

"So am I."

There was a long, long pause. Then Finarfin also looked down. "Did your father ever tell you what the Silmarils are?"

Maglor felt like he'd taken a cold knife to the chest. "...Yes. He said they each had a piece of his soul."

Finarfin's laughter rang out, also echoing through the dungeon. It was a bitter, nasty laugh. When Finarfin looked at him, the smile did not meet his eyes. Sunshine that hid the darkness of smoke and ash of a fire that had been burning out of control all too long. "He did not lie," Finarfin said, "but he did not tell you the entire truth, either, it seems."

"And he told you."

Finarfin sighed and nodded. "You really didn't know, did you?"

"About what?"

"Never mind." Finarfin looked away again, and Maglor wanted to scream TELL ME, DAMN YOU - his entire body thrumming with curiosity - but he knew better than to press it. When Finarfin was ready - if - he would talk. Until then... Finarfin looked back at Maglor, their eyes held, and then Finarfin said, "I think we both need something more pleasant to think about than Nerdanel and your father's death."

"I agree."

Finarfin snapped his fingers. "Undress, please."

Maglor undressed quickly, letting his clothes fall into a haphazard pile on the floor in his eagerness. Finarfin remained clothed, but Maglor could see Finarfin's breeches tenting as he looked Maglor's naked body up and down.

Finarfin walked up to Maglor, took Maglor's face in his hands and kissed him hard. Finarfin's hands slid down to Maglor's chest, and roamed down his chest and stomach, hips and thighs and back up, swirling, circling, each slow caress making Maglor quiver. Finarfin began kissing Maglor's neck, and Maglor moaned. Then Finarfin slapped Maglor's ass. Maglor moaned louder, his cock jolting, hole twitching, wanting Finarfin so badly it hurt.

Maglor glanced over at the whips and floggers as the sting of his still-sore ass rippled through his body. Finarfin caught it and shook his head. "I want to give your body a bit more recovery time before we play with those," Finarfin said, and kissed Maglor again as his finger traced around and around a nipple, then his thumb rubbed it, teasing it to hardness. Maglor whimpered - he wanted Finarfin to ravage him - and Finarfin laughed into the kiss and then licked Maglor's throat before he husked, "There are other things we can do. Fun things."

Finarfin marched Maglor over to the diagonal cross on the wall, and turned Maglor so he was facing the wall. Maglor's arms fit to the points above, and Maglor spread his legs so his feet lined up with the points below.

"Again, tell me if you need me to stop," Finarfin said, and gave Maglor's ass another swat before Finarfin locked Maglor's wrists and ankles into the cuffs.

With his back to Finarfin, shackled and helpless, Maglor had no idea what was going to happen, and the act of putting his trust in Finarfin like this made his cock throb, dripping with arousal. Maglor felt Finarfin push his hair aside, exposing his back, and then Finarfin reached around and a swan feather tickled his nose, making Maglor laugh. Finarfin stroked Maglor's cheek with the feather...

...and then he brushed the feather down Maglor's neck, to his shoulder. Followed the trail of the feather with his tongue. Maglor cried out, cock jolting again, breaking out in gooseflesh, nipples pebbling. Finarfin laughed and began brushing one of Maglor's arms with the feather, up and down, light and slow, then licking with the same slow strokes. Maglor never knew his forearms were so sensitive. He moaned, overwhelmed by pleasure as Finarfin repeated the process, feather gliding up and down his arm, then Finarfin's tongue, and his moans got louder as Finarfin did the same with the other arm.

Finarfin flicked the feather down to Maglor's shoulder, kissed it, and the feather brushed lightly, teasingly, across his shoulderblades, Finarfin kissing and licking his way over. Finarfin pushed Maglor's hair out of the way again and the feather slid down Maglor's spine. Maglor gasped and cried out, his spine so deliciously sensitive. Finarfin's tongue sensitized him even more. Maglor grunted as his cock dripped - Finarfin was driving him mad with pleasure and they'd only just begun.

The feather stroked up Maglor's spine, and back down. Finarfin licked down Maglor's spine again. Then, on his knees behind Maglor, Finarfin teased Maglor's sore ass cheeks with the feather, the light touch soothing and tormenting him all at once, just as sensitive as his spine. Maglor shivered, moaning. Maglor felt the feather in his crack, then just outside his opening.

Finarfin's tongue licked around and around the hole, making Maglor moan louder, and when Finarfin's tongue pushed inside him Maglor howled. Finarfin's tongue rubbed inside him, delicate and debauched. Maglor panted, sobbed, wanting more, but also never wanting Finarfin to stop, the filthy sweetness of his tongue teasing his most intimate place was the most intense pleasure Maglor had ever known.

Finarfin's tongue sped up, lashing away, tongue-fucking him. If Maglor's ankles hadn't been cuffed, he would fall over, knees buckling. The way Finarfin's tongue rubbed inside him got him so close, yet kept orgasm glimmering just out of reach. Building pleasure upon pleasure, and building the tension, the pressure, without release. Maglor whimpered, and Finarfin moaned into him. Finarfin pulled back to whisper, "I love to hear you, my songbird," before he put his tongue back inside Maglor's channel, licking more slowly. So slowly.

When Maglor's cries were ringing out against the dungeon walls, a quivering, sobbing wreck, Finarfin uncuffed Maglor and helped him over to the restraint table. This time Maglor lay on his back, looking into Finarfin's eyes, who smiled tenderly and stroked his cheek before he bound Maglor's wrists and ankles and picked up the feather once more.

The feather brushed Maglor's throat, then down to one nipple, stroking ever so lightly, then the other. Finarfin leaned down to lick and suckle one, then the other. His mouth feasted on one nipple while the feather danced on the other, back and forth between them, making Maglor buck and cry out, writhing against the restraints. His nipples had never been so hard, so exquisitely sensitized. He felt almost like he could come from the gentle featherplay and Finarfin's fierce suckling. Almost.

"Ara..." Maglor shuddered, balls tightening. "Ara, hántya..."

Finarfin smiled and the feather flicked down, tracing over the planes of Maglor's chiseled abdomen. Kissing here, licking there. Maglor's hole twitched as his cock dripped again, his entire body singing with sensation. The feather dragged over a hip, down a thigh, a knee, a calf, and Finarfin bent down to lick, making Maglor scream with pleasure. The feather caressed the other calf, knee, thigh, hip, and Finarfin's tongue followed. So good. Maglor writhed again, howling. "Please, hántya, please..."

"Please what, songbird? Use your words."

"Fuck me." Maglor felt like he was going to die if he didn't come.

Finarfin laughed, and then the feather traced down Maglor's shaft, and back up, brushing around and around the almost-painfully sensitive head. Finarfin knelt before the table and leaned in, tongue following the feather up and down, up and down. Finarfin's eyes locked with Maglor's as Finarfin took Maglor's cock in his mouth for the first time, sucking slowly, the feather brushing Maglor's balls, stroking the sensitive place between Maglor's balls and ass. Finarfin hummed around Maglor's cock as Maglor panted, gasped, yelped, pleasure and tension building and building to the shatterpoint. Finarfin continued stroking with the feather as his other hand rubbed a thigh, then one finger was inside him and found that spot, and as soon as Finarfin began to bob his head, sucking harder and faster, the finger massaging that spot, Maglor came with a cry, not able to hold back.

There was so much of it that it seeped obscenely from the corners of Finarfin's mouth. Maglor watched Finarfin swallow it down, then he licked Maglor's cock clean, chasing drops of cream with his tongue, and licked his lips. Finarfin stood up and Maglor saw Finarfin's breeches weren't just tented but there was a wet spot; Maglor could smell the musk of Finarfin's own arousal.

Finarfin freed Maglor from the restraints and when Maglor sat up, a bit light-headed, still throbbing from his release, Finarfin kissed him. Maglor moaned at the taste of himself on Finarfin's mouth.

Finarfin picked Maglor up, even though they were roughly the same height and weight, and threw Maglor over his shoulder as he marched forward, extinguishing the candles on his way out, to a door in the opposite corner to the cross and the whips and floggers. The door led to another closet in Finarfin's room. Finarfin put Maglor down on the bed and began undressing. As good as his orgasm was, seeing Finarfin in his naked glory got Maglor hard again.

Finarfin climbed over him, pushing Maglor down against the pillows. Maglor looked up at him, into those green eyes, and the flood of silver-gold hair. So beautiful. He would give Finarfin anything he wanted, an act of worship with his body.

Finarfin leaned down and kissed him hard, as he reached over and fumbled for the oil. Once he had it, he split Maglor like a peach, pouring oil over his own cock and into Maglor's channel. Maglor grabbed Finarfin's cock, guiding it to his opening, and Finarfin laughed. "So needy."

"Please."

Finarfin kissed him again, and then he pushed inside. So long, so thick. He went in easier than before, but it was still tight, and Finarfin gave him a moment to adjust before it began, Maglor's legs on Finarfin's shoulders as he pounded away fast and furious, bed rocking against the wall. Maglor loved it, the delicious rhythm inside him... the glory of Finarfin's body in motion, muscles rippling, all fluid grace, the look of lust in his eyes.

He is taking what he wants. Maglor's cock hardened painfully, and he took himself in hand, stroking in time with Finarfin's savage thrusts.

Finarfin's balls slapped against him, almost louder than Maglor's moans and Finarfin's grunts. Finarfin was a beast, slamming him so hard, the hardest Maglor had ever been fucked... and then Finarfin rocked his hips even harder, faster. Maglor howled, gripping his cock tighter - the sight of Finarfin gone feral like this was the most erotic thing Maglor had ever seen, and Finarfin's cock felt so good like this, driving him to the edge.

With Maglor's legs on his own shoulders, Finarfin leaned down and kissed him, slowing down his thrusts, teasing them both. They panted together, breathing each other's breath. Their tongues licked playfully, sensually, before Finarfin claimed his mouth again, both men groaning into the kiss. Finarfin grabbed Maglor's arms and pinned his wrists, Maglor's cock grinding against Finarfin's stomach. Finarfin kissed and licked Maglor's neck. "That's a good boy," Finarfin husked. "That's my good boy..."

Maglor let out an urgent whimper. He was about to lose it - something about Finarfin calling him a good boy was his undoing.

"Good boy," Finarfin whispered, kissing Maglor's neck some more. "Such a good boy. My good boy."

Their mouths met once more and Maglor screamed into the kiss as his second climax overtook him, spurting up Finarfin's torso. Three sharp thrusts later Finarfin spent into him, biting the sweet hollow of Maglor's neck and shoulder, growling, shaking. Maglor sighed, loving the feel of Finarfin flowing into him. He felt like he was floating, like he was made of ocean, of light.

They kissed again, rubbed noses, and then Finarfin rolled them onto their sides and held Maglor close, petting him, rocking him. Maglor teared up, overcome by joy, and love so strong it hurt.

"Thank you," Maglor heard himself saying. "Thank you. Thank you. Thank you..."

Finarfin kissed his brow. "Thank you."

"That was..." Maglor laughed, giddy with euphoria. "I don't even know how to put it in words."

Finarfin smiled, lighting up Maglor's whole world. "This is just the beginning, my sweet boy."

Maglor smiled back. He felt like a lost broken piece of him was being put back into place. The return of hope.

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