Maglor had a smile on his face for most of the next day. He practiced his scales, played older songs, and took a trip with Maedhros to the open-air market to buy some fabric for the tailors to make new clothing, a luxury they had not had in a long time. After the market, they collected Elrond and Elros from their lessons and took them down to the beach.
"I would like to learn how to sail," Elros said, watching the swan ships on the water.
"And to swim," Elrond added.
Maglor sighed, remembering how Finarfin had taught both he and Maedhros to swim and sail when they were young. Maglor had idolized his younger uncle - he'd loved both of them, but Finarfin was more like an older brother, less stern, more fun. While Maglor agreed that the boys should learn to swim and sail, he thought Finarfin would be the best teacher; maybe they could have a family outing.
Thinking of Finarfin made Maglor feel wistful, longing for the evening to come. The ache grew sharper as the boys built sculptures in the sand, and Maedhros allowed them to bury him in sand, and Maglor wished Finarfin was here to join in the silliness. It seemed to Maglor that it would be good for Finarfin as well; Finarfin's loneliness mirrored his own.
The peaceful, content feeling that Maglor had carried all day - that everything was all right again - began to fade as they went back to the palace, Elros riding his shoulders, Elrond riding Maedhros's shoulders. Maglor felt inexplicably sad, and he felt guilty with himself for feeling sad, knowing he should be grateful for the second chance he was given, to reunite with the last blood family he had left other than Galadriel, who was out in Middle-Earth somewhere. But the joy he'd found made the sorrow for what he'd lost all the deeper...
...the passion he'd found with Finarfin, love requited, made missing him during the day all the worse. Fearing that somehow Finarfin would be taken from him, that something would happen, that he would watch Finarfin die just as his father had died, his brothers had died, Fingon had died, Fingolfin...
Maedhros tweaked Maglor's nose. "Are you all right, little brother?"
Even though they were grown men, Maedhros would never stop calling him little brother. Although, everyone was little compared to Maedhros, a hulking giant of a man. "I'm fine," Maglor lied.
"You're not fine." Maedhros pursed his lips.
Maglor desperately wanted to tell Maedhros about what was going on between he and Finarfin, but he remembered Finarfin's caution not to mention it to his brother unless absolutely necessary. Maglor went for a half-truth, leaving out the part about Finarfin. "It's too peaceful. Too happy. I'm not used to it."
Maedhros looked down at his shoes, then up at the sky, and nodded. "I know what you mean."
Maglor knew Maedhros was thinking of Fingon, and the guilt stabbed yet sharper. Here he was pining over someone he would see soon enough, when the night was dark. Maedhros would not see Fingon again until and unless he was re-embodied, and the Valar did not seem particularly interested in releasing him from Mandos just yet.
The boys scampered off, and Maglor gave Maedhros a fierce, tight hug. It wasn't the two of them against the world anymore, but the shield wall of Maedhros's body still threatened to make Maglor cry, comforted and wounded all at once. Maglor held it in. He needed to be strong for his brother, who had lost more than he. He needed to be strong.
He was so very, very tired of being strong.
He continued to feel that brittle, ready-to-break sadness throughout dinner, especially during the dessert where the harpist Morilindissë performed, reminding Maglor of himself when he was young and still played happy songs, before war and fire and blood took his innocence. Every now and again Maedhros shot him a concerned glance and Maglor looked away, over at Elrond and Elros who were eating cake without a care in the world. Over at Finarfin, who was also eating cake; the High King of the Noldor had gotten frosting on his nose and that just made Maglor love him even more. He remembered baking with Finarfin when he was young, having food fights in the kitchen, eating batter and frosting out of the bowl even though Nerdanel didn't like him doing that but Finarfin let him get away with a lot. Finarfin had been so playful and full of laughter then.
Now he just seemed tired. He looked as tired as Maglor felt. Still beautiful, still the golden god who had lit up his fantasies for as long as Maglor had been able to fantasize. But there was pain in his green eyes, a weary half-sad smile as he raised his glass in Maglor's direction.
Maglor took some deep breaths, not wanting to fall apart at the table here in front of the boys and his brother and Morilindissë and Finarfin's servants and various royal court members he hardly knew.
After the sun went down, in the blue dusk of twilight, Maglor met Finarfin in the garden, and they went down together through the secret passageways to the dungeon. As soon as they were safely behind the dungeon door Finarfin took Maglor into his arms and their mouths crushed together in fevered hunger, the passion they'd been holding back all day. They kissed and kissed, and Finarfin began to undress Maglor, fingers walking, hands sliding over the exposed flesh. When Maglor was completely naked - and hard for him - Finarfin smiled and reached down to grasp Maglor's cock, stroking slowly as they kissed again, more gentle and sweet. Then they rubbed noses, and the little act of tenderness once again made Maglor feel brittle, fragile, blinking back tears.
Finarfin noticed and stopped playing with Maglor's cock. "What is it, my songbird?"
"It's nothing."
Finarfin scowled. "It's not nothing. Out with it."
"Fine." Maglor sighed. "It's everything." He put a hand on his heart. "I don't know how to explain it. I was in a good mood and then suddenly it started to storm inside my head."
"Ai." Finarfin nodded. "I think I understand. Last night was very intense. You felt a sort of high, like being drunk without the alcohol. It finally came crashing down. This happens, it happened with my last lover."
On the one hand, Maglor didn't particularly care to hear about other lovers Finarfin had taken, on the other hand he felt a touch of relief to know it wasn't just him and it was a fairly normal response.
"It's all right." Finarfin's arms held him tighter. "It's all right to feel how you feel."
"It's not." Maglor didn't want to admit to this, but the safety and trust he had with Finarfin compelled him to confess the weight that had been on his shoulders for a long, long time. "I can't be falling apart like this. My brother needs me. The boys need me -"
"You are all in a safe place now, a stable place. You do not need to be as strong for them as you were in the wild. And I daresay that even when you were living out there, everyone needs to break sometimes. It's not healthy to keep feelings contained so tightly."
"Healthy or not, it has been the only way I've been able to live," Maglor said.
"Now you have a new life." Finarfin touched Maglor's cheek, looking into his eyes with compassion. Maglor blinked back tears again, feeling that tight ache in his chest, threatening to explode.
"Here," Finarfin said, guiding Maglor deeper into the dungeon. "Let me try to help you."
They came to the diagonal cross against the wall, but instead of having Maglor put his wrists and ankles in the shackles, Finarfin pushed on a panel against the wall and a bench folded out. Finarfin patted the bench. "Lean over this, stick your arse out at me."
Maglor did as he was told, cock throbbing with anticipation. He watched as Finarfin selected a riding crop and came around to bring it to Maglor's lips, tracing around his lips with the tip of the crop, slowly, sensually. "Now then," Finarfin said, "I am going to hit your arse with this until you cry, or you tell me to stop. Agreed?"
Maglor nodded.
Finarfin went back around to Maglor's ass. He spent a moment rubbing Maglor's ass cheeks, making Maglor's hole twitch, wanting to be filled. Maglor moaned as the tip of the riding crop slid up and down his crack and traced slow, lazy circles around the outside his hole, teasing him. "Very nice," Finarfin said, his voice husky. "Your body is a work of art, Kanafinwë. Especially your arse. It's going to be even lovelier when I make it red."
"Please," Maglor begged, craving Finarfin's domination. Wanting his body marked by his lover, a visible sign of being claimed, owned.
The riding crop cracked against one ass cheek, the sting shooting through Maglor's body. Maglor gasped and flinched, and his cock jolted. As the crop slapped the other side of his ass, Maglor's cock dripped, his hole twitching again. Maglor's hands clenched the end of the bench, white-knuckled, a shiver down his spine. It hurt but it felt so good at the same time.
The crop came down again, and again, one side, then the other. Again, harder. Again, harder still. The riding crop stung his flesh enough that finally it broke the wall around Maglor's heart and the tears slid down his cheeks, silently at first. The crop lashed, and lashed, stinging, the kiss of pain, until at last Maglor sobbed out loud, keening.
Finarfin put the riding crop down and then he began to rub Maglor's sore ass, his touch as tender as it had been fierce. He rubbed Maglor's back, pet his hair. "Yes, Káno, that's it. Let it out. Good boy. That's a good boy."
Finarfin's praise made Maglor weep all the harder. Maglor felt like it wasn't just the dam containing his emotions that had broken, but his heart itself, ripped apart, bleeding out. And here was Finarfin, ever so gently putting him back together with his sweet touch, his soft voice. "Good boy. My good boy. It's safe to cry, sweet boy. Let go. Let it out. You're safe here, you can cry."
"I'm sorry," Maglor choked out, not wanting to overload Finarfin with his emotions, who had grief of his own.
Finarfin came over and touched Maglor's face with a sad, fond smile. "You don't need to apologize. On the contrary, I could feel how much you needed this and knew sooner or later, it would happen."
Maglor still felt shame. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry -"
"Hush." Finarfin put his finger to Maglor's lips.
He led Maglor through the secret passages to his bedroom - Maglor was still crying, barely aware of what was happening until they were in Finarfin's room with its swans and its beach decor - with all the things Fëanor had made and gifted Finarfin over the years, the room was practically a shrine to Fëanor. Through the haze of his tears Maglor briefly wondered about that - it had seemed Fëanor and Finarfin had never been close, and yet this room suggested something very opposite, and Finarfin knew something about the Silmarils that Maglor didn't which confirmed it was very opposite to Maglor's perception indeed - and thinking of Fëanor made Maglor cry harder, missing him so much.
Maglor glanced over at the bed, and then back at Finarfin, wondering what would happen next. His ass cheeks were sore, and his cock was painfully hard, even through his sorrow.
Finarfin cleared his throat and took off one of the keys from the chain around his neck. He produced a dagger from a pocket of his robe and before Maglor knew what was happening, Finarfin cut one of Maglor's fingers and pressed it to the key. As the blood touched the key it lit up blue, then the light faded.
"I have a gift for you," Finarfin said.
"Oh?"
Out of the opposite pocket where the dagger came from, Finarfin produced a two-strand necklace, of sparkling diamonds and lustrous pearls, small carved silver beads and fine oval-shaped links between the jewels. It was a simple but elegant design and Maglor recognized his father's handiwork immediately. "This belonged to my last lover," Finarfin said, his voice husky with emotion. "It is yours now." He waved his fingers upward and commanded, "Kneel."
Maglor did as he was told.
With that, Finarfin slid the key onto the longer of the two strands, like a pendant, then clipped the necklace around Maglor's neck. The longer strand came down to Maglor's heart, and the shorter strand was a choker, with a silver ring dangling from the center.
Finarfin reached into his pocket and Maglor saw a very long chain, made of the same diamond-and-pearl pattern as the necklaces. One end had a locking hook, and the other end led out to a bracelet. Finarfin fit the hook through the ring of the collar, and then Finarfin quickly disrobed and slipped on the bracelet.
Finarfin pulled Maglor along on the leash to the bed. Once they were on the bed together, Finarfin got out the salve and began rubbing it into Maglor's welted flesh, making soothing noises as Maglor leaned on him, the tears beginning to calm down as relief washed over him. When Maglor's ass was properly salved, Finarfin put the jar down and held him for awhile, kissing the tears that still flowed more silently and slowly, making a show of playing with the leash with one hand, petting Maglor with the other. At last Maglor's head was on Finarfin's chest, listening to his heartbeat, and Finarfin rocked him.
"I love you," Finarfin said, and Maglor realized it was the first time Finarfin had spoken those words since he arrived here.
"I love you," Maglor said, meaning it with all his heart.
Finarfin took Maglor's face in his hands, kissed Maglor's forehead, and then his lips slid down Maglor's nose to meet his lips. Both men moaned into the kiss as their tongues played together. Finarfin's hands roamed over Maglor's naked body, each touch sending a fiery thrill through him, and Maglor couldn't help touching him back, caressing the lean, muscular, strong body, the build of a warrior.
The build of his hero.
They were both hard, and Finarfin took both their cocks into his hand, stroking slowly, teasingly as they kissed open-mouthed, tongues licking, then their mouths met in a deep, hungry kiss that made them moan again. Their cocks were both slick and glistening with the juices of their arousal, making streamers between the heads of their cocks that almost undid Maglor right then with the erotic sight of it. He wanted Finarfin so badly.
Finarfin smirked, mischief in his eyes. He ran a finger down Maglor's chest, strayed over a nipple, rubbing. Maglor's breath hitched and his cock pulsed, a frisson through him. As Finarfin played with the other nipple, he asked, "Does my boy want to get fucked?"
"Yes. Please."
They kissed, and then Finarfin said, "Let's get ready." He tugged Maglor's leash. "Sit on my face while you suck my cock."
Maglor smiled, eager to please. He climbed over Finarfin, his head between Finarfin's legs, his knees at Finarfin's shoulders. Maglor was greedy for Finarfin's cock, sucking hard and fast like he was starving for it, mouth suctioning, knowing what men liked. Finarfin groaned as he grabbed Maglor's hips and guided him down lower. Maglor cried out around the cock in his mouth as he felt Finarfin's tongue slip inside him.
As Maglor sucked, Finarfin licked, the rhythm of his tongue driving Maglor mad. He bobbed his head, sucking furiously as he rocked his hips, fucking himself on Finarfin's tongue, whimpering around the cock in his mouth. Finarfin slapped one ass cheek, then the other, and the hard smack of his hand sensitized Maglor's sore ass, the pleasure-pain almost making him come. Finarfin moved his head back and his tongue brushed the sensitive place between balls and ass, making Maglor howl with his mouth full, before Finarfin's tongue was in him again, slower this time. Two could play the teasing game and Maglor took Finarfin's cock out of his mouth and licked at it, around and around the head, up and down the shaft, tongue lashing at the sensitive ridge where head met shaft before he licked up and down again. He sucked at just the head, kissing it, and licked some more, making Finarfin moan into him. Finarfin slapped Maglor's ass again and his tongue sped up, rubbing so hard and fast that once again Maglor almost came, but Finarfin kept release just out of reach. He patted Maglor's ass and stopped licking, giving the leash a tug. "It's time."
Maglor rolled off Finarfin's cock, but not without taking one last lick at the dripping juices, making an obscene show of the streamers on his tongue in Finarfin's sight. He smiled as Finarfin's cock leapt and Finarfin growled.
Finarfin tugged on the leash again; Maglor crawled up to him and they kissed. Then Finarfin slapped his thighs. "I want you to ride me."
Finarfin got the oil as Maglor straddled his hips. They kissed as Finarfin slicked up his own cock, and then slick fingers worked in and out of Maglor, until Maglor was rolling his hips, fucking himself on those fingers, panting for it between kisses. They looked into each other's eyes as Finarfin guided the tip of his cock to Maglor's opening, and kissed again as Maglor sank down and down and down.
He'd taken Finarfin's cock before but it still felt so big, stretching him, overwhelmingly full. They paused and Maglor caught his breath, feeling a bit dazed. Then Finarfin yanked the leash and Maglor began to ride, slowly and sensually at first, teasing them both, Finarfin's hands roaming over Maglor's body, heat in his eyes as he took in the sight of Maglor's hips rolling, muscles rippling, Maglor's hole kissing his cock over and over. "So beautiful," Finarfin husked.
"So are you." Maglor played with locks of the wonderful silver-gold hair, like the light of the Trees, touched Finarfin's face, caressed Finarfin's chest, thumbs rubbing hard nipples, his fingers walking the planes of Finarfin's stomach. "I've wanted you for so long."
"You have me." Finarfin reached down to stroke Maglor's cock, collecting some of the flowing juices on his fingers, and then he stuck his fingers in Maglor's mouth, making him taste himself. Maglor loved sucking Finarfin's fingers, another tangible act of belonging. "And I have you. You're mine now."
Maglor moaned around the fingers in his mouth and began to ride harder.
Finarfin slapped Maglor's ass, yanked on the leash, and thrust, making Maglor work for it, making Maglor ride him like a wild bull. Maglor bounced frenziedly, Finarfin's cock hitting that sweet spot over and over again, Finarfin's balls slapping away, Finarfin's grip on his cock deliciously tight, the stroking rhythm so good. Maglor worshiped Finarfin's hair and body with his hands, his eyes, every bounce of his ass, getting more and more lost as the pleasure wound higher, tighter, as he gave himself so completely, the act of trust and surrender stoking his lust even hotter.
"That's it," Finarfin rasped, slapping one of Maglor's ass cheeks, then the other. "That's a good boy." He tugged on the leash and pulled Maglor into a deep, passionate kiss.
Maglor was right there, whimpering into the kiss, feeling himself rush to the point of no return with Finarfin's hand on his cock, Finarfin's cock rubbing inside him just right. Nothing had ever felt so good, the pleasure all the sweeter for the way he'd let out the pain.
"I love you," Maglor said again, looking into those beautiful green eyes.
"I love you, blood of my blood." Finarfin bit the hollow where Maglor's neck and shoulder met and lapped the blood that flowed, and the shock of the pain followed by the brush of Finarfin's tongue on that sensitive place was Maglor's undoing, spending over Finarfin's hand, splattering his chest as the contractions overtook him, the blinding glory of climax. Maglor threw back his head and called out, "Ara," and gasped as the pulsing euphoria sent him soaring, melting, immolated in the light and heat of love.
"Káno," Finarfin breathed, shuddering as he took one last thrust and Maglor felt the hot flow of Finarfin's seed rush inside him.
"Ara..."
They kissed, held each other, rocked together. Maglor snuggled into Finarfin's chest, and was comforted by the gentle tug of the leash as Finarfin pet him.
"Good boy," Finarfin whispered. "That's my good boy."
Maglor sighed, flexing his toes involuntarily, like a contented cat. This was exactly what he needed.
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