The minute Nicholas got home, he found Sören slumped over on the couch, head buried in his hands. Sören quickly sat up and tried to pull himself together, but he couldn't hide the tears in his eyes or the pinched look on his face.
"Darling, what's wrong?" Nicholas put a hand on his shoulder.
Sören sighed and looked down. He knew better than to say "nothing", but a fresh wave of shame rolled over him, cheeks burning, stomach roiling, his ability to translate thoughts from Icelandic to English in pieces.
Nicholas had seen Sören upset enough times over the years to know he needed a moment. So Nicholas went to the kitchen to make tea. As he did, Sören collected his thoughts. Once Nicholas returned with tea for both of them, he let Sören lean on him for a moment, rubbing his back and petting his shoulder-length mop of dark curls.
"I'm sorry, I should ask you how your day was," Sören said.
"Likely better than yours." Nicholas kissed the top of his head and skritched Sören's beard like a cat's whisker pads. "It's all right, little one. You can tell me."
"OK." Sören took a deep breath. He was a remote worker, and took breaks during the day for online activities. Today, none of his breaks had felt like a break. "To start it off, I woke up to TERF trolling on one of my fics, leaving comments about how men don't have vaginas and my story is 'unrealistic' because gay men don't want to date trans men, being we're 'not actual men'."
Nicholas shook his head and rolled his eyes. "As you know, I am gay and -"
"I know. I know." Sören realized he sounded hostile when Nicholas wasn't the target of his anger, and quickly squeezed Nicholas's hand and rubbed his knee. "But like, it gets old to keep hearing this shit over and over again. I know I don't have anything to prove to random strangers on the Internet, but it also feels like the amount of open shit-talking has gone up from where it was a few years ago, like people feel bolder now to spew their filth. Because that wasn't the only hate I got today."
"Oh?"
Sören nodded. "One of the gay male forums I'm on had a poll asking if they would have sex with trans men. Most of them said no, but it didn't stop there. I made the mistake of checking the comments and I saw a whole bunch of comments along the lines of 'if a cis gay guy fucks a trans guy that makes him bi, not gay,' or even calling them 'straight', like we're not men. Some of the comments called us 'mentally ill women'."
Nicholas pinched the bridge of his nose and took a long sip of tea. "So if they have relations with a trans woman who looks indistinguishable from a cis woman except for her penis, that somehow still counts as gay male sex to them? Ludicrous."
"Right, the logic breaks my brain. But it wasn't just a few outliers. It was dozens and dozens, if not hundreds, of comments saying the same thing. It's... harder to brush off and just ignore when it's so many people. And unfortunately, that still wasn't all of it."
"Oh dear." Nicholas put down his tea and threw an arm around Sören.
"I went on the Discord server I'm on for FTM guys and I vented about this in the vent channel, and one of the guys there got on my case because I don't want, and don't plan on getting, bottom surgery - that I've said my top dysphoria was way worse than my bottom dysphoria and I'm fine with my bottom growth. He told me if I don't want a meta or phallo then I'm not really trans, I'm just a straight woman cosplaying -"
Nicholas swore in French.
"I feel like a dumbass for letting it get to me." Sören shook his head. "I had to fight tooth and nail to get on T and get my top surgery years ago when 'professionals' told me it would be easier for me to 'just be a straight woman', I wasn't going to let anybody tell me I'm not a man, and after everything, when I look in the mirror these days I see a man. I feel like a man, now." Sören gestured to his beard. "Most of the time I'm comfortable in my skin and the days of dysphoria are long gone, but these fucking idiots just..." Sören bit his lip, tears stinging his eyes. That added insult to injury - he knew "boys don't cry" was toxic masculinity and he tried not to buy into it, but he knew the haters would just say this "proved he was still female". He clenched his fists and swallowed hard, angry and defiant.
Nicholas sighed. He pet Sören's curls some more, and when he finished his tea, he said, "I know from my own past history with bullying - back in the days when there was far less understanding of neurodivergence, and merely being suspected of gayness was met with slurs and violence - that it can be difficult to ignore. But these are maladjusted, pathetic fools with too much time on their hands and clearly have insecurities of their own if they spend so much time judging and mocking others, or in the case of one of your fellow trans men, telling others how to live their lives. You are a man. I think of you as completely, 100% male. I know Anthony and Mark feel the same way. You don't deserve the hatred... and you don't deserve to let it get to you and beat you down."
Sören nodded and leaned into Nicholas's touch. "I feel stupid for getting so worked up, like a broken record skipping on that one spot over and over again -"
Nicholas kissed Sören's brow. "We have some time before Anthony and Mark get home. Would you like some distraction?"
"Please."
Nicholas took the tea service back to the kitchen, and Sören zoned out on the couch, feeling drained after his catharsis - somewhat less tense and shaken by the unpleasantness of the day, but not quite over it yet. The cats came over to comfort him, purring loudly, and Sören heard water running in the bathroom. A few moments later Nicholas came back to the living room, wearing just a black silk robe, silvering chest hair on display. "A bath?" Nicholas asked.
Sören couldn't help smiling when he walked into the bathroom and saw the large tub filled with lavender-scented bubbles and floating tealight candles, with more tealights glowing on the sink counter. Nicholas helped Sören out of his clothes - not that Sören really needed help, but he enjoyed the touch and tender loving care. Once Sören was naked, Nicholas took off his robe, and Sören's smile became a grin at the sight of Nicholas's half-hard cock, hardening even more as Nicholas's hungry eyes raked over him.
Sören and Nicholas took a moment to kiss, hands roaming. Nicholas's fingers traced the flames on Sören's right arm and waves on his left, brushed the pierced nipples, while Sören stroked Nicholas's cheeks and beard, and enjoyed the feel of his body hair and sculpted physique, impressively trim for a man in his late fifties. Before they could get too worked up, Sören led the way to the tub and Nicholas followed. Nicholas got in first, and Sören got into a position where he was sitting on Nicholas's lap, his back to Nicholas's chest.
For awhile Nicholas just held and rocked him, nuzzling Sören's neck and shoulder, letting Sören rest in the heat and bubbles and soothing scents. Sören's mind finally uncoupled from the dysphoric rage and he felt the tension drain out of his body, muscles unclenching, breath slowing down. When Nicholas gave him a squeeze, Sören turned his head for a kiss. After a few sensual kisses, Nicholas began to kiss the back of Sören's neck, making him shiver. Then Nicholas began to play with Sören's nipples, thumbs rubbing, pulling on the rings, pinching and rubbing some more. Sören groaned, cunt throbbing. "Daddy..."
"Do you like that?" Nicholas knew the answer was yes. His hands slid down, one arm encircling his waist while the other found Sören's hard clit. "Oh my, what do we have here?"
Sören made a strangled noise as Nicholas's fingers teased his clit with slow, languid caresses. "Daddy, you're making it all stiff."
As if on cue, Nicholas's hard cock pulsed against Sören's backside. Sören giggled and Nicholas gave a chuckle of his own, then he began rubbing Sören's clit a little faster, in circles. Nicholas resumed kissing Sören's neck. "I bet my boy could use some relief."
Sören turned his head to rub noses with him. "As you know..."
Once they toweled off, Sören waited on the bed while Nicholas drained the tub and blew out the candles. When Nicholas came in, Sören was idly stroking himself, and spread his thighs to show Nicholas how wet he was already. Nicholas gave an appreciative grunt and walked over, hard cock bobbing with each step.
They kissed again and again - as they kissed, the tip of Nicholas's cock brushed against Sören's clit, driving Sören mad. Sören looked down and moaned as he watched Nicholas's precum drip onto his clit. They kissed again, deep and passionate, and Sören whimpered into the kiss as he felt Nicholas roll down the foreskin of his cock, sheathing his clit. Nicholas's hand began to stroke, working them together. The feel of Nicholas's cockhead rubbing his clit and the silken foreskin wrapped around his clit - cock fucking cock - brought him right to the edge. Sören's nails dug in Nicholas's sides, making feral noises; Nicholas's breath was ragged, and he growled as he nibbled on Sören's neck.
Before they could come like that, Nicholas pulled back. The sight of precum and cunt cream making streamers between them almost made Sören climax untouched. "Daddy..." Sören bit his lip and made an urgent whine, not knowing what to ask for, so desperate for relief that he was down for almost anything.
Nicholas gave him a wicked little smile. "Would you like to fuck me?"
Nicholas and Anthony were both tops, Mark was versatile and Sören leaned bottom but sometimes enjoyed topping. The strap Sören and Mark owned got occasional use - it wasn't very big, but Sören wondered if it would be too big for someone who only rarely had been on the receiving end of penetration. And in the haze of lust and need, Sören forgot where Mark kept the thing.
Before he could inquire as to whether or not Nicholas knew where the strap was located, Nicholas reached into the bedtable drawer and produced the clit pump that Sören and Mark sometimes used. Sören's bottom growth was already pretty big on its own, just under two inches, but it could grow to almost the size of a thumb with the pump. Sören put two and two together as to why Nicholas had taken out the pump and his laughter rang out. He nodded eagerly - the times he'd been inside Mark were exhilarating, and getting to fuck a cis gay man with what he had naturally downstairs was a whole new level of euphoria.
Nicholas watched as Sören pumped himself up. Once Sören was ready, Nicholas dove down and took Sören's clit in his mouth, sucking it like it was a cock, as he'd done countless times before, but this time was special - it felt more intimate, Sören felt closer to him in this act of giving strength after hours of vulnerability. Their eyes locked as Nicholas sucked on him, and Sören groaned when he saw Nicholas's right shoulder moving, knowing Nicholas was stroking himself, turned on by what he had to offer.
That feeling of intimacy and connection deepened when Nicholas stopped sucking and lay back, a pillow underneath his hips, and Sören leaned in and did something to him he'd always wanted to do but had only done to Anthony a few times over the years - Sören began licking at Nicholas's puckered hole, tongue swirling around it then brushing over it, lapping inside. Nicholas tasted clean from the shower, and the feeling of tightness filled Sören with wild excitement, knowing how that would feel around his clit. Nicholas's deep grunts and groans as Sören's tongue teased him also got Sören hot - he guessed his clit would feel like a finger or tongue, and Nicholas seemed to enjoy it... Sören wanted this to be good for him, too. He wanted to wreck his lover like never before.
When they were both ready, Sören got on his knees and thrust forward, watching as his long, thick clit pushed into Nicholas's hole. Sören almost came from the erotic sight of taking him, the delicious silken feel of the tight hole welcoming him, kissing his cock. He made himself hold back, resting and taking a few deep breaths when he was all the way inside.
Sören rocked his hips, cock gliding in and out. Nicholas stroked himself, moaning. "That's it," Nicholas husked. "Show me how men fuck their daddies."
"Oh, fuck." A frisson went down Sören's spine and he bucked harder, faster. "Oh Daddy, it feels so good..."
"It feels wonderful." Nicholas grunted. "Daddy loves his boy's cock."
Sören kept thrusting, trying not to come just yet, the pleasure and tension building and building. Watching Nicholas furiously stroke his cock, panting, and taking in the sight of his gorgeous, silver-furred body was almost too much to bear. As much as Sören loved a cock inside him, or feeling Mark's clit rubbing his clit - or both at the same time - there was nothing like being inside another man, giving him cock, taking, conquering, owning.
"That's a good boy." Nicholas brought his precum-slick fingers to Sören's lips to taste. Sören sucked Nicholas's fingers, moaning around them as he worked his hips as hard and fast as he could, slamming in and out of him. "Daddy's good boy. Look at you, fucking your Daddy like a man."
"Fuckkkkk..." Sören was so close. Nicholas went back to stroking himself, his cock making a wet rattling sound, hand a blur, breath in shuddery gasps. Sören knew Nicholas was close too, and wanted him to come first. He placed a hand on Nicholas's hand, guiding it. "Want to make you come, Daddy. Want you to shoot all over me..."
"Yes, son. Daddy's almost there. Your cock is so good..."
Sören held back for what felt like an eternity, ready to explode, and at last Nicholas cried out, a jet of cream splashing onto Sören's chest, then one on his stomach. Sören held out his tongue and Nicholas aimed, giving him a taste of salty, hot seed. Sören finally gave in, feeling Nicholas's hole twitching around his cock, his own contractions deep and intense, throbbing, pulsing, a flood of relief and bliss through his own body.
"Oh, Daddy." Sören sank down with a deep, content sigh. Nicholas's arms pulled him close and held him tight; Sören buried his face in Nicholas's chest hair, listening to his heartbeat.
"That was quite enjoyable." Nicholas kissed the tip of Sören's nose. "I think we should do that again sometime."
Sören nodded. "That was hot." He touched Nicholas's face, looking into those dark chocolate eyes, warm and shining with love. He felt a fierce, tight ache in his chest, returning that love, heart soaring. "And really beautiful. Thank you for... your acceptance."
Nicholas took Sören's hand and kissed it. "You are man enough for me. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."