Fumbling Towards Ecstasy: Chapter 19

Gentle rubbing at his shoulder. "Sören, baby, wake up to take your meds."

Sören made a noise of protest - it was so cozy, with Mark as the "big spoon" behind him, one arm wrapped around him. Sören didn't want to budge, and he had been sleeping so soundly for once, no doubt from snuggling up with Mark. But Mark kept shaking his shoulder, and Sören whined again as he squinted at the clock. It was after one in the morning.

Waking up brought on the need to go to the bathroom. Sören sat up, stretched, and swung his legs over the side of the bed. "I'll go to the bathroom first," Sören said.

"OK. I'll get you some ice water for your meds, it'll taste better." Mark got out of bed.

Something else would taste even better, Sören thought to himself as he watched Mark's ass on the way to the bathroom.

Sören spent a bit longer in there than he'd originally planned, and then longer as he cleaned himself really well. When he got back in bed Mark had ice water for him, and turned on the small lamp next to his bed so Sören could see what he was doing with the med minder.

Mark had seen Sören take his medication cocktail before, but now it seemed like Mark was studying what was going on. Sören saved his mood stabilizer for last, and noticed Mark raising an eyebrow at that.

"Don't tell me you're going to give me an anti-meds, Big Pharma lecture," Sören said.

Mark shook his head. "If you need it, you need it."

"Oh thank fuck." Sören breathed a small sigh of relief. "Seth used to give me crap about taking medication. Tried to get me to stop. I'm not that functional off meds, my depression is pretty serious."

"The more I hear about Seth, the more I want to run him over with my car," Mark said, his face stern. Then his expression softened as he met Sören's eyes. "It's not that, Sören. Just... the size of that last pill. It's like a horse pill."

"It helps I don't have much of a gag reflex," Sören said with a wicked grin. Mark blushed and laughed, and Sören knew immediately what he was thinking. Then Sören said, "You think the molecules are too big to digest, or something?"

"I'm pretty sure that's not how molecules work."

"Hi Pretty Sure That's Not How Molecules Work -"

At the look Mark gave him, Sören almost choked on his water. Then he shrugged. "I've gotten used to it. We swallow bites of food larger than that. It was a pain in the ass I resented when I got diagnosed, but what bugs me more is having to refill prescriptions and keep track of everything - I used to have to take meds three times a day instead of twice - and I've had side effects off and on. The last cocktail I was on before the most recent med change, I had pretty bad GI issues. Mostly I just deal with dry mouth and occasional brain fog now."

Mark nodded. Then he gave Sören a hug and kissed the top of his head, rubbing his nose in Sören's curls.

"Awww, what was that for?" Sören asked when they pulled apart.

"Just because." Mark patted him. "Let's go back to bed."

The act of taking his meds, and talking a little bit about them, meant that Sören wasn't quite as sleepy as when Mark had woken him up a few minutes ago. Mark spooned him again, and the feel of Mark holding him safe did make him relax, and his eyes a bit heavy. A touch of sleepiness, but not yet ready to drift off just yet. And then, Sören's body began responding to the feel of Mark against him, his mind remembering the way they'd made love. He wasn't up for a big athletic performance, but he wanted more, and he found himself rubbing his ass against Mark. After a minute of this Mark began rubbing against him in return, and Sören smiled as he felt Mark's erection. He moaned when the hard cock pressed into the crack of his ass, teasing him.

"Mmmm." Sören tilted his face. "You feel good."

"You feel good." Mark's arms tightened around him.

Sören rubbed against him some more. "Mark?"

"Mmm."

"Will you make love to me?"

In the glow of the nightlight, Sören saw Mark's face lean in to his, and Mark nuzzled him before giving him a sweet, lingering kiss. Then the kiss deepened; Sören's cock throbbed.

"How do you want it?" Mark asked.

"Like this, but with you in me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Sören was open from earlier, and Mark gently prepared him with lubricated fingers. Then Mark said, "I'm coming in."

"Hi Coming In -"

Mark swatted his ass, and then his arms circled back around Sören and he tilted Sören's face back to his and kissed him hard as he pushed inside.

Sören's breath hitched at the initial discomfort of being stretched, but it wasn't as bad as before. When Mark was all the way in they exhaled together.

Sören had developed an aversion to being taken from behind because that was Seth's preferred position, and in the last few months of their relationship it was the one Seth used exclusively; Sören had been assaulted in the basement from behind. Sören was surprised that he was more than OK with Mark taking him from behind now - it helped that they were laying on their sides, but it also helped that Sören felt so safe with him, even though Mark was a close-to-seven-foot, ripped giant of a man who could probably kill him with his bare hands. Perhaps especially because - those strong arms around him, strong enough to have carried him earlier, were an incredible turn-on. Sören loved feeling Mark holding him, and for all his strength Mark was so gentle now, moving inside him slowly. It felt wonderful, the delicious slow rubbing inside him, Mark's hands sliding over him. So cozy. Sensual. Intimate.

It hadn't been like this at all with Seth. Especially not when Mark tilted Sören's face so they could kiss, stroked his cheek, pet his hair. One hand petting him, one hand slowly stroking his cock. Mark kissed and licked and nibbled Sören's neck and shoulder, having learned how sensitive he was there. Mark's hand strayed from Sören's head to play with his nipples, making Sören moan.

The sweet, safe, cozy sleepy feeling coupled with the building tension of desire and sensation was a heady mix. Their kisses were more frequent as Mark went a little faster and harder, but still slow and gentle, teasing them towards that edge. Teasing and teasing until at last both of them were shaking, panting, and Sören gasped out, "Mark, please..."

Mark's arms held him as tight as he could, one of Mark's hands stroking Sören's cock, the other with his fingers in Sören's mouth, then his thumb. Something about the comfort of sucking his lover's thumb as Mark brought them to the finish, speeding up inside him, all need and sensation, sent Sören flying, coming with a cry. A few seconds later Mark came too, nipping Sören's neck with a growl as he spent. Then they kissed, the sweet fire of their kisses making the orgasm even better.

The release helped Sören relax enough to slide towards sleep, with Mark still inside him. As Sören faded, just before he drifted off, he heard himself mumble "Ég elska þig svo mikið, ástin mín." Sören had no idea if Mark heard him - Mark's own breath had slowed down, indicating he was either sleeping or on the way there himself - and he fell asleep before a response. But he had no regret about saying it; it was the truth of his heart.


_


Sören woke up to Mark raining kisses over his face. Before Sören even opened his eyes, he started his day with a smile.

"Wake up, sleepyhead."

"Mmmmm." Sören opened his eyes, and his breath caught at the love in Mark's silver eyes - and the desire.

They had fallen asleep spooning, with Mark behind him, but here they were facing each other, and Mark kissed him deep and hungry. Then Mark began kissing and licking Sören's neck and shoulder; Sören's cock stirred, and he groaned at the feel of Mark's hard cock pressed against him.

"I want you," Mark rasped.

"Mmmm, good." Sören kissed him again.

When they pulled apart, breathing harder, their eyes met, and Mark stroked Sören's face, pet his curls, planted a sweet kiss on his forehead. Then their foreheads touched, noses rubbing, breathing each other's breath as their hands wandered over each other's naked bodies, cocks grinding together. Sören was already starting to leak precum, and he collected some on his fingers, bringing them to Mark's lips. Watching Mark suck his fingers, pure lust on his face, made Sören's cock throb even more.

Sören raised an eyebrow. "Aren't you going to nag me to take my meds?"

"Later." Mark kissed him hard. "I want you now." Mark resumed kissing Sören's neck, making Sören moan and tremble. Mark's hand was on Sören's cock now, thumb rubbing the frenulum. "I want to taste you."

With that, Mark slid down Sören's torso, leaving a trail of kisses that sent exquisite fire through his entire body, making his nipples and cock twinge. When Mark took Sören's length into his mouth Sören cried out, clutching his head.

Mark sucked him greedily, like he'd been starving for it. The feel of Mark's mouth wrapped around his cock, head moving back and forth... the heat in his eyes as Mark looked up at him... Sören arched to him, gasping, panting, trembling. "Mark. Oh god."

"Mmmmmmmmm." Mark's hand gently cupped and rubbed Sören's balls.

"Oh fuck." Sören felt his balls tightening, felt the tension building in his body, thighs bearing down, closer...

The slurping noises, the hungry, aggressive sucking, the molten gaze, the talented mouth, now with Mark's tongue rubbing as he sucked... Sören's entire body shook. He writhed, whimpered, so close soclosesoclose.

"Ohgod. Mark..." Sören's breath hitched. "Mark, you're gonna make me come..."

"Mmmmmmm." Mark patted him and squeezed his hand, stroked Sören's palm.

Sören bucked as he came, screaming. Mark swallowed all that he could, and licked Sören's cock clean, smiling at the aftershocks, Sören moaning as he continued to twitch. When the exquisite pulsing died down, Mark came up, took Sören's chin in his hand, and kissed him. Sören made a little noise of contentment as he tasted himself on Mark, the evidence of what they'd done.

Between kisses Sören looked down at Mark's cock, glistening with precum, looking delicious. Sören wanted to return the favor, and rolled Mark onto his back, kissing his way down. His eyes locked with Mark's as his lips wrapped around Mark's cock, and he smiled at the moan of gratification Mark made as Sören's mouth took him inch by inch.

Sören sucked slowly at first, savoring the way Mark breathed harder, the sweet sound of his moans, the look of bliss on his face. He idly stroked himself, loving Mark's cock filling his mouth, finding the act of sucking Mark's cock soothing as well as arousing. Like being taken from behind, Sören had developed an aversion to sucking cock after Seth, who had made him do it so many times and didn't return the favor - not that Sören wanted Seth touching him at all in those final days - but now, with Mark, he was reminded of how much he'd once loved it, been a hungry slut for it, and he was hungrier for Mark than he'd ever been for anyone, the slow sucking giving way to passion, devouring him for all he was worth.

"Oh Sören. That's so good..." Mark grabbed Sören's curls, and began to roll his hips, gently fucking Sören's mouth. Sören responded by working his tongue as he sucked, rubbing his tongue as much as he could with his mouth so full. Mark gave a deep groan.

Sören's head bobbed on Mark's cock, slurping at him, the sound filthy and obscene, making his cock throb even more. He stroked himself a little harder, and his free hand played with Mark's balls, smiling to himself again as he felt Mark's balls tighten, knowing it wouldn't be long.

But Sören couldn't resist teasing a little - knowing Mark's climax would be all the stronger for the delay. He took Mark's cock out of his mouth and licked it, tongue running from head down the shaft to the root and back up again. Then on his way back down his tongue took slow, deliberate strokes, licking every bit that he could. Then rubbing faster, harder. Tongue swirling the head, lapping the prominent, sensitive frenulum. Teasing the foreskin. Sören's lips wrapped around just the head, kissing it, and Mark gasped, tugging on Sören's curls.

"Sören... you fucking tease..."

"Mmmhmm." Sören took the head of Mark's cock out of his mouth and lapped at the leaking slit, enjoying his precum. "Such a beautiful cock deserves to be worshiped properly." He lapped the slit some more. "Your cock is a work of art. I couldn't have sculpted something sexier."

"Well, it's yours." Mark stroked Sören's face.

Sören swallowed it back down. Their gaze held. Sören went back to sucking slowly, tenderly, and then he resumed the hungry, needy sucking of before. Mark grabbed Sören's head and thrust into his mouth, with Sören rubbing his tongue again, his cock almost painfully hard as Mark's moans got louder. And finally, Mark cried out "Sören," flooding Sören's mouth with sweet cream. Mark's cum was like flowers and rain, and Sören loved it. There was so much of it that some spilled out of Sören's mouth, making Sören whimper with protest, wanting it all. He swallowed, and lapped up the rest, continuing to lap at the slit to taste and taste until Mark gasped out, "OK, OK..." Mark shuddered. "Sensitive..."

Sören laughed softly and slid up the length of Mark's body. Mark grabbed him and kissed him hard, before pulling Sören close, Sören's head on his shoulder, petting him, rocking him, their legs entwined. Sören's cock ached, wanting relief, but he would let Mark recover first, and right now just enjoyed the feel of cuddling with Mark, and the peace on Mark's face, the tension melted out of his body. Mark seemed to radiate contentment, and Sören basked in its glow.

A few moments later Mark opened his eyes, smiled at Sören, and gave him a little kiss. "You give amazing head."

"So do you."

"Mmmm. I really lucked out, finding you." Mark gave him another little kiss. "Talented in many ways."

Sören stroked Mark's face and hair. He would never get tired of touching Mark's hair. "You make me feel safe," he confessed, remembering last night - the way Mark had made love to him in front of the fireplace, and later, the sweet, sleepy spooning sex. "You make me want again, after what happened. That takes considerable talent."

Mark took Sören's hand and kissed it, and then he put Sören's hand to his heart. "Sören," he said, voice husky. "Last night, after we spooned, before we went to sleep, do you remember what you said?"

So he had been awake. Sören nodded, and swallowed hard.

"Can you say it again?" Mark's eyes held his.

"Ég elska þig svo mikið, ástin mín."

Mark pet Sören's curls. "I love you too."

Sören threw his arms around Mark and they kissed. And kissed. Sören moaned into the kiss, feeling himself rub against Mark, wanting, and then their hard cocks were rubbing together again as they kissed again and again, breathless, hungry. When the kiss finally broke, both of them catching their breath, there were tears in Mark's eyes. Tears reflecting Sören's own, burning, a lump in his throat, ache in his chest. A good ache.

"I love you," Sören said again, this time in English. "Oh god, Mark, I love you..."

"I love you." Mark kissed him. He laughed and cried, and Sören laughed and cried with him.

"I feel like such an idiot, that none of this was more obvious to me," Sören said. "You said you wanted to seduce me the night I almost fucked Sharon, but... you had feelings longer than that, já?"

Mark nodded. "I was attracted to you right away, to be honest, but when I really realized I was in love..." Mark laughed. "When you were in the kitchen with your toy, and it was awkward, and 'Walk This Way' came on and you started playing air guitar..."

Sören doubled over, sides aching with laughter. "Oh god," he wheezed. "Oh Jesus..."

"Yeah. That was the moment of truth. Gods help me, I am in love with this fucking dork." Mark sighed. "And it scared the shit out of me."

"I remember you were sad later." Sören pet Mark's face and hair. "Was that why?"

Mark nodded. "I didn't want to fall for you. I have... reasons... for why I've been alone this long. But goddammit, Sören Sigurdsson, you made me fall in love with you." He kissed the tip of Sören's nose. "Thank you."

They kissed and then Sören said, "I was attracted to you too - I'd fantasized about you quite a bit, actually..."

"When you were in the kitchen with the toy, was that..."

"Yes, Mark, that was you."

"Fuck." Mark's breath hitched and his eyes widened, then narrowed. He nipped Sören's lower lip. "I still can't get over when I caught you..." He sighed. "You were so fucking hot."

Sören kissed him again. Then he said, "So yeah, you were the star of my fantasies but when I couldn't deny anymore that it wasn't just lust, I had feelings..." Sören grinned. "That tea party with Hells, then us in the car at the store."

"That's so sweet." Mark laughed. "We're such fucking dorks."

"We really are." Sören kissed him. "That's why it works."

"My sexual orientation - dorksexual." Mark rolled his eyes. "And apparently my fetish is - fucking dad jokes."

Sören couldn't help himself. "You're... fucking your dad? That's pretty kinky."

Mark wheezed, turned bright red, and shook with laughter, tearing up. "Goddammit, Sören."

Sören grinned, and then he let out a little whimper as Mark took Sören's face and kissed him hard, and then harder. Mark's cock was rubbing against his again.

"Well, now it's my turn to be the dad," Mark said when the kiss broke. "Take your meds."

Sören made an exaggerated groan and he reached for his med minder. There was still water in the pitcher Mark had brought to the bed, though it wasn't great after having been sitting for some hours, and Sören made a face as he took his pills.

"Yeah, sorry, I should have gotten fresh water," Mark said.

"Well." Sören finished taking his meds and then he came back into Mark's waiting arms. "You can make up for it and give me something tastier to put in my mouth."

They got into the sixty-nine position. Sören loved it, sucking and being sucked. Rimming and being rimmed. Hands roaming, hands holding, at last holding each other in the final moments of their hungry feasting. They came together, moaning and crying out with their mouths full, swallowing every drop that they could, licking each other clean before coming up to kiss. Tumbling back down onto the pillows and just holding each other, petting, as the rain started again outside.

"I want to stay with you in bed all day," Sören husked. "All weekend."

"We can do that." Mark kissed him softly, and then guided Sören's hand to his cock, which was already hard again. "I'm insatiable for you."

"Hi Insatiable -"

Mark growled, biting Sören's neck. Sören gasped and cried out, shivering, cock waking up again, wanting more. Wanting everything. There was so much to want.

So much love, and its expression. Like a living work of art. Like a living song.

chapter 20 | return to Under The Rose | return to index