Sören was combing his hair, fluffing his curls for his date with Anthony when Nicholas walked into the bathroom. Sören smiled at him in the mirror, and his smile got bigger as Nicholas came closer. Nicholas put his hands on Sören's shoulders and pulled Sören's back against his chest, his hands sliding down so he could wrap his arms around Sören, and Nicholas rocked him and gave him a little squeeze.
"You look lovely, sweetheart," Nicholas husked, tilting Sören's face to kiss his cheek.
Sören rubbed noses with him. "Takk." Sören bit his lip and looked back into the mirror. After he got home from work and changed out of his scrubs, he'd had a nap and then a shower, and then spent a bit of time trying to decide on what outfit to wear. Even though Anthony had seen him dressed down before, and a date at a bookstore-cum-cafe wasn't the fanciest occasion, Sören still felt the need to impress, while also not wanting to be too formal. He'd finally chosen a white ruffly poet's shirt, a black vest, and black jeans.
"And you smell good, too." Nicholas's nose twitched.
Sören laughed softly. He had on a few dabs of Kyoto by Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab, a blend of cherry blossoms and anise that still managed to smell masculine on him, and decidedly sexual in the dry-down. Nicholas had smelled it on him before, but not in awhile. Sören felt a twinge of guilt that Nicholas hadn't seen him dressed up in awhile either - while they were both homebodies, Sören still felt like they should probably go on a date in the near future, to compensate for Sören going on dates with Anthony.
Before he could open his mouth to make the suggestion, Nicholas tilted Sören's face towards his again, looking him in the eye, and Sören watched Nicholas take a deep breath. "Sören, I need to talk to you about something."
Sören felt a flash of panic. Nicholas kissed the tip of his nose, knowing how he worried, a pre-emptive affectionate gesture to reassure Sören he wasn't angry or upset with him, Sören wasn't in any kind of trouble. But Sören still felt anxiety in the context of him getting ready to go on a date with Anthony, and Nicholas needing to have "a talk" before that. The pit of Sören's stomach rose, hoping Nicholas wasn't going to ask him to cancel the date, or nip the relationship in the bud entirely.
Sören turned around to face him, leaning against the sink. "What about?"
Nicholas made a "follow me" gesture, and Sören followed down the hall to the bedroom they shared. Tobias was curled up on the bed, and Nicholas took a seat on the edge of the bed next to the cat, while Sören sat in a rocking chair across from the bed. Tobias woke up after Nicholas got on the bed and yawned and stretched, then came over to Nicholas, purring, giving headbutts. Nicholas gave the cat a few pats and strokes, looking as if he were collecting his thoughts. Sören waited, the anxiety rising.
Finally Nicholas said, "As you know, you're going on your date with Anthony shortly."
"Oh god," Sören muttered, before he could stop himself. He knew this was going to be about Anthony. He braced himself.
Nicholas winced, also seeming to know Sören was afraid he would ask Sören to cancel the date or the relationship entirely. He shook his head. "Now, Sören, please don't jump to conclusions with what I'm about to ask."
Sören exhaled sharply. He gave Nicholas a "go ahead" gesture.
Nicholas went on. "I don't know if your original plans included spending the night with him, and I'm aware that when our relationship began we discussed the possibility of you potentially seeing other people and sometimes... spending nights away. But I also feel it is better in the interest of open, honest communication to tell you that I'm not yet comfortable with you..." Nicholas made a vague hand gesture. "Resuming intimacy with him. So if you wouldn't mind terribly, I'd appreciate it if you came back home this evening."
That wasn't great, but it also wasn't the same as canceling the date or asking Sören to stop seeing him, and Sören would rather Nicholas communicate any discomfort rather than stewing in silent resentment. Sören also knew that feelings didn't work on an on/off switch and Nicholas was trying to be as OK as he could with this arrangement for Sören to spend time with his ex-now-not-ex, who he'd almost married. Though he'd been doing his best to give Nicholas assurances that nesting with him was what he wanted, and he wasn't going to leave Nicholas for Anthony, he knew it was still going to take time.
"OK," Sören said simply.
Nicholas let out a little sigh of what seemed like relief. He nodded. "Thank you for understanding."
"Well, hopefully Anthony will understand too." Sören pursed his lips. "Going forward in the future, I'd appreciate you telling me something like this at least a day or two before the date, rather than me springing it on him the night of."
"I'm sorry," Nicholas said. "I was trying to be OK with the idea, but..."
Sören sighed and nodded. And he knew that, too, was part of the complexity of feelings.
"I'm not saying you can't... ever... resume intimacy with him," Nicholas said. "But I think I'm going to need at least a couple more weeks to... get adjusted to the concept. I'm sorry -"
Sören held up a hand. "I know you're trying, I know this is... a lot, and I appreciate that you're even willing to be OK with me seeing him. But yes, I think that while we can probably hold off for right now, it's unfair to ask me to put off intimacy with him indefinitely." Just the thought of making love with Anthony again sent a shiver down Sören's spine. And he had very much been wanting to make love with him tonight; he'd been almost unbearably horny when he got back from his date on Saturday night and he'd practically mauled Nicholas, not that Nicholas had minded. Sören fought back a grin at Nicholas's enthusiastic "YES" when Sören had asked him if he wanted it. Sören had walked funny the next day at work, with the pounding Nicholas gave him. Sören was hoping Nicholas would be ready for more tonight, because he had a feeling the sexual tension with Anthony was going to be even stronger.
"As I said, I'm not expecting you to go without for good. Just a couple more weeks." Nicholas's gaze locked with his.
"Jæja, I know."
Nicholas got up, and made a "come here" gesture. Sören got up and went into his arms. They held each other for a moment and already Sören felt the stirrings of arousal, burying his nose in the white chest hair peeking out through the V-neck of Nicholas's black silk pajama top. Nicholas pet Sören's curls and kissed the top of his head, and Sören skritched Nicholas's whiskers, making him smile; the love in those dark chocolate eyes made Sören melt a little.
As if Nicholas could read Sören's mind about the sexual frustration, Nicholas said, "I'll make it up to you when you get back."
"Oh, Nick. You don't owe me sex -"
Nicholas silenced him with a kiss. Sören moaned into the kiss, and again as Nicholas's fingers played over his chest, teasing a pierced nipple through the fabric. When they pulled apart, Nicholas gave him a wicked look, then swatted Sören's ass.
Sören went back to the bathroom to resume fixing his hair. Nicholas closed the toilet seat and sat on it, hands between his knees, watching. A moment later Tobias walked into the bathroom and began to rub against Sören's legs, then Nicholas's, then wandered back to Sören and got up on his hind legs, tapping Sören's knee with a plaintive meow, as if he knew Sören was leaving.
"Oh, Toby." Sören stooped down to pet him. "I won't be gone too long. Just a couple hours, probably."
"Prrrr-ROWWWWRRR." Tobias headbutted Sören's leg, and then he leapt onto Nicholas's lap. Nicholas held the cat, and Sören felt himself melting again, looking at them. He loved that Nicholas was a cat person; he loved how Nicholas was with the cat.
When Sören was done with his hair, he gave himself a once-over, then he called a cab. Nicholas went down with him in the lift, even though Nicholas was in his pajamas, and distracted Sören from his claustrophobia by holding him and petting him. They lingered in the lobby.
"Call me when you're back, and I'll come down to take you up," Nicholas said.
Sören nodded. "Takk." He gave Nicholas a soft, sweet kiss. "You're a good daddy." He skritched Nicholas's whiskers again.
"And you're my special boy." Nicholas kissed the tip of Sören's nose, then his brow. He reached around to grope Sören's ass, and squeezed, before giving a playful swat, making Sören giggle. "Have fun."
"You too." Sören raised an eyebrow. "Anything planned?"
"Reading."
"Oh, what are you going to read? Maybe I can find the book at the bookshop, read it too, we can compare notes."
"Anna Karenina, but I am in the middle of the book."
"Oh." Sören's face fell, wishing he had something to share with Nicholas. "Well, maybe I can do a proper read-through one of these days, when I have time. I read it when I was a teenager, but I don't remember everything."
"You should re-read it sometime, yes. But whatever you end up reading there, if you do, I'd still like to discuss it with you, even if it's not something I've read myself. If it interests me, it may give me something new to read."
"OK." Sören gave him a little squeeze. "I love you, Daddy."
"I love you too, sweetheart." Nicholas skritched Sören's beard, and Sören grinned before he kissed Nicholas's fingers.
Then the cab beeped outside. Nicholas poked the tip of Sören's nose.
"I'll see you later," Sören said, and blew a kiss before he headed out.
It felt like ages since Sören had last been to Anthony's parents' house in Blackheath. Sören got a little choked up as the cab began rolling down Anthony's street and the villa came closer into view. Anthony's parents' house had felt so much like their second home. There had been so many beautiful moments there - it was where Anthony tied him up for the first time. It was where Anthony proposed. And Anthony's parents had been wonderful to him, treating him like one of the family. Even Anthony's late grandmother had been warm and welcoming, giving him an expensive genuine Fabergé egg that Sören had left with Anthony when he walked out in October 2013.
In a way, Sören felt that being at Anthony's parents' house would undo him even more than if Anthony still had the flat in Kingston, where they had lived together, and invited him over. Sören steeled himself, not wanting to fall apart.
Anthony was sitting outside on the steps, waiting for him. Sören chuckled - they sort of matched; Anthony was wearing a white button-down shirt with rolled-up sleeves, black trousers, and black suspenders. Sören waved as the cab pulled closer. Then he gestured for the cab to wait for a moment. He rolled down the window and asked, "Do you want to get in and ride to Greenleaf?"
Anthony shook his head. "I'd rather walk, if that's all right? It's a short walk, and I need to push myself."
Sören paid the cab driver and got out of the car. He made a beeline for Anthony and helped Anthony to his feet, then gave him a tight hug. Anthony snuggled into his shoulder for a moment and the little sigh he gave went right to Sören's heart, feeling the tears coming on again.
Then the front door flew open and out charged Elaine, wearing a burgundy T-shirt and light blue designer jeans with pearls and bangle bracelets, waving her arms frantically. "Sören! Sören! Hellooooooo!" She loped down the steps.
"Oh god," Anthony said. He pulled back and leaned on his cane.
"Hi, Elaine," Sören said, getting choked up even more.
Elaine hugged Sören fiercely and kissed both his cheeks. "Sören, I'm so happy to see you. It's so good to see you again. Really." She touched his face, and then rested a hand on his shoulder. "You look radiant. I love your hair! Are you going to keep growing it?"
"Maybe a few inches more, but not longer than that," Sören said, "otherwise it's too much of a pain in the ass to take care of. Er, language, sorry."
Elaine gave a throaty chuckle and hugged him again. She tousled Sören's curls affectionately and then she pinched Anthony's cheek, who turned even more pink, rolling his eyes. "Look at you two." She clasped her hands. "I'm so glad you're back together..."
"Mum," Anthony said.
Sören tried not to laugh. "I'm glad too." He kissed Anthony's other cheek, and Anthony gave a shy, adorable smile that made Sören's stomach flutter, and his cock twinged a little.
"Can I offer you anything to eat or drink? Anthony tells me you're going to Greenleaf and I know there's a cafe there, but I'd be happy to give you some refreshment -"
"Mum. Mother." Anthony narrowed his eyes at Elaine. "The purpose of Sören and I going to Greenleaf is to go to Greenleaf. It's very nice of you to want to offer him hospitality, but maybe another time?"
Elaine looked a little disappointed, while it was even harder for Sören to not laugh at the look of consternation on Anthony's face. "All right, another time," Elaine said. "Sören, you must come for tea one of these nights."
"I will," Sören assured her. "Maybe in a couple of weeks." He knew that if he was in that house, it was going to be very difficult to resist canoodling with Anthony, and it would be safer to do that when Nicholas gave the green light for Sören to be intimate with Anthony again. As it was, just going to a public place like Greenleaf was going to drive him out of his mind with sexual frustration.
"OK. Well, have fun, kids," Elaine said, hugging them both.
"Mum, we're not kids. I'm thirty-five," Anthony huffed indignantly.
"You're still a kid," Elaine said. She waved on her way back into the house, and at the door Sören saw Roger, who paused and waved before dragging Elaine inside, grunting and shaking his head.
Anthony facepalmed. "God. I'm sorry. Mum means well, but she's... what are people saying now? So extra."
Sören's laughter rang out, no longer able to be contained. "I love Elaine."
"I LOVE YOU TOO," Elaine called back, probably from the foyer, and then there was a "JESUS CHRIST, ELAINE," from Roger, which made Sören howl while Anthony leaned on him and made a little noise of distress.
"You're pretty extra too," Sören said, patting Anthony, who leaned up and gave him a look. "At least we know you come by that honestly."
Anthony began limping along on his cane in the direction of Greenleaf. They each had an arm around each other's waists. The sun hadn't set yet, but the last light had that old-gold quality, and that too made Sören ache. There was something deeply romantic about walking with one of the men he loved in the golden haze on a summer night.
"You holding up OK?" Sören asked after they got a block into the walk.
Anthony nodded, frowning a little.
"Sorry," Sören said. "I didn't mean to sound patronizing by asking -"
"No, it's... it's fine. It's just... disconcerting, I used to be able to run for kilometers without getting too tired before the accident and now I'm done in after a round trip to Greenleaf. But like I said, I need to push myself. I'll never be fully recovered, and it's important to be realistic about the limits of progress. Still, I'm doing better now than I was two months ago and if I keep going for walks like this I'll be a little stronger in another two months."
"Yes." Sören nodded. "Just... don't push yourself too hard."
"I won't. I know my limits better now than in the first few weeks following the accident. That was a bloody nightmare. I fell I don't know how many times." Anthony cringed.
"Well, if you fall... I'll catch you." Sören glanced over at him, and kissed his cheek.
Anthony took Sören's hand and kissed it. "I love you, you know."
"I know."
Anthony gave a little laugh that sounded more nervous than happy. "And on that note, of knowing my limits... I really do mean that I'm going to be done in after we get back from Greenleaf. I don't know if you were planning on spending the night or not -"
"I originally was," Sören said, "but Nick asked me not to."
"I see."
Sören knew in those two words that Anthony wasn't thrilled. He sighed and explained, "This is still some getting used to for him. Nick needs at least a couple of weeks before he can... be good... with the idea of us..."
"I suppose if the situation were reversed," Anthony said, "I'd feel the same way... if I even permitted you to see him at all. But I hope he does get to a place where he's well and truly OK with everything, or that's going to cause problems."
"I know," Sören said, and then he realized how defensive that sounded. He sighed again and said, "I think he will be. I think he needs to see for himself that despite our history, he's not being replaced."
"Do you think that me having another talk with him would help set any concerns he had to rest?"
"I don't know, but I think that more than words, it's going to be actions that prove to him I'm not going anywhere."
"That's fair," Anthony said.
Sören knew that hit a nerve - Anthony's own actions would prove that there wasn't going to be a repeat of their relationship breakdown in 2013. Sören gave him a reassuring little squeeze. "But, yeah," Sören said. "Unfortunately, I can't spend the night. And I would have been OK just cuddling, you know, if you were too tired."
"I like cuddling, but I'd be angry with my own body," Anthony said with a chuckle. "I think when we go there it'll have to be a day when I've not had physical therapy and haven't done a lot of walking around. At least till I get stronger."
"You make it sound like you intend on pounding me into next week."
"No," Anthony said. He gave a wicked grin. "More like next year."
"I'm disappointed. Not next century?"
"Hi Disappointed Not Next Century -"
Sören reached out and grabbed Anthony's nose. "OK, Corn."
"God, I missed that, IKEA." Anthony turned to look at him and his eyes were too bright.
Sören stopped in his tracks, grabbed him, and stole a kiss, not caring who was around to see and judge them. Then he pointed - the bookstore was in plain sight now. They resumed walking.
"Land ho," Anthony said.
"I am not a ho," Sören protested, even though he knew that wasn't what Anthony meant. "I am a rakehell."
Anthony gave him an incredulous look and then a full-bodied laugh, seemingly delighted. "Where did you learn that word? Nicholas?"
Sören nodded.
"Well, he's not wrong." Anthony smirked.
"And you're a rapscallion."
Despite their mutual love of reading and their frequent trips to Blackheath when they were together, Sören had never been to Greenleaf. The bookstore had an old-fashioned feel similar to a library, with high bookshelves, sections neatly organized by subject, and lots of little nooks with leather armchairs and wooden tables; antique pendant lights hung from the ceilings, bathing the bookshop in a soft golden glow. There was a rack of wicker baskets by the door for customers to take and put their books in as they shopped.
Anthony and Sören not only had a mutual love of reading, but similar reading tastes, and went straight to the sci-fi and fantasy section. The bookshop sold used books as well as fresh copies, and used books had dot stickers that corresponded with a price chart.
Ursula K. Le Guin was Anthony's favorite author, and it occurred to Sören that he hadn't seen any of Le Guin's work in Nicholas's vast library. Sören wondered if Nicholas had read Le Guin, and if not, that was something to introduce him to, something the two of them could talk about... something perhaps all three of them could talk about, though Sören was treading lightly with that, not wanting to force Anthony and Nicholas to be friends, remembering how disastrous it was when Anthony tried to get Sören to be friends with his now-former friends. Nonetheless, there was enough of a spark of hope - if only to find some more common ground with Nicholas - that Sören found himself looking through the selection of Le Guin. There were both newer and used books, and though Sören could certainly afford newer books, there was a certain charm about old books and giving them a new home, so he started a stack of used Le Guin titles.
Anthony looked on at Sören's selections approvingly, while he added N.K. Jemisin to the wicker basket Sören was carrying. "The Inheritance trilogy," he explained. "It's been highly recommended but I've never gotten around to reading it. I have more free time now, I suppose."
Sören again felt a twinge of sympathy for him, wishing that Anthony had gotten in touch with him sooner - but then his accident and Craig's overdose were so close together that he didn't know if he would have been as available as Anthony would have needed. Sören still felt guilty that Anthony had been so alone these last few months, and put his free arm around Anthony.
As they wandered through the immense sci-fi/fantasy section, Anthony and Sören remarked on books they'd read, or books they'd wanted to read and hadn't read yet. They also talked about which books they'd read that would make good movies, and the conversation eventually turned to a copy of Jurassic Park and discussing the recent viewing of Jurassic World.
Sören chuckled. "I've always found paleontology interesting. Moreso other extinct animals, like woolly mammoths and saber-tooth tigers. I might have gone into paleontology if I hadn't been compelled to become a doctor at a young age. Finding fossils and things." Sören snorted, resisting the obvious crack about I already found one, I live with him. He loved Nicholas intensely and it was meant affectionately, but he still worried about coming off disrespectful - even he had limits.
Anthony's eyes twinkled, as if he knew what Sören was thinking but not saying, and Sören pursed his lips.
"I think I would have gone into archaeology if I hadn't been compelled to go into law at a young age," Anthony said, sobering. Their eyes met, and Sören felt that spark quickening again - kindred spirits. Anthony gave a wry smile. "Maybe there's an alternate universe where we're on a dig together."
"'A dig'." Sören couldn't resist making the innuendo, and air quotes. "'Bones.'"
Anthony threw his head back and laughed, and gave Sören a little kiss. "Don't ever change, Sören."
Every so often Anthony needed to sit down, which Sören didn't mind - there was a nook of chairs near the sci-fi/fantasy section. The first couple of times they stole little glimpses at the books in their basket. But on the third rest stop, Anthony looked self-conscious, frowning at his cane. Sören reached over to rub Anthony's shoulders. "It's OK, elskan," Sören said.
Anthony sighed. "I hate it. I feel so fucking powerless."
"Don't be so hard on yourself." Sören cupped Anthony's chin and tilted Anthony's face to his. "I accept you as you are. No pity, no shame."
Anthony gave a tight, sad smile, and Sören leaned in and kissed him. What was meant to be a soft, chaste kiss in a public place quickly heated, their lips parting, tongues teasing, playing, and soon Sören lost any sense of public decorum and he and Anthony were kissing deeply, fiercely, hungrily. Sören moaned at the feel of Anthony's fingers in his hair, and when Anthony began to kiss his sensitive neck - Anthony knew just how to undo him - Sören felt his cock rising in his jeans. He pulled himself together before they could get in trouble in public, and because Sören knew they couldn't go there tonight.
"Food," Sören said, and realized how breathy and husky his voice sounded in the midst of his arousal. "We should... eat something."
Anthony gave him a pointed look, and Sören facepalmed, laughing. Anthony laughed too.
They shared one last kiss, and when they pulled back, the flush in Anthony's cheeks, the way his eyes sparkled, and the little smile he gave Sören as his breath caught made Sören want to drag him off and ravish him. But instead Sören helped Anthony to his feet. "Um, where's the cafe?"
"This way," Anthony said, pointing, and led the way, one arm around Sören, the other hand holding his cane, limping along.
The cafe in Greenleaf was small and humble - there wasn't much on the menu but salads and sandwiches, a selection of baked goods and of course, the requisite coffee, tea, and beverages like lemonade. Sören had a cherry lemonade, which sounded good on a warm summer night, and went with a big Greek salad; Anthony had tuna on toast and a regular lemonade.
"I know it's not much," Anthony said, looking around.
Sören waved a hand dismissively. "You forget who you're dealing with. Everything doesn't need to be fancy all the time."
"I don't forget who I'm dealing with," Anthony said softly. "I just... want to spoil you."
Sören kicked him under the table. "I have no complaints." Sören leered. "Well, you know. Except that we can't..."
Anthony chuckled, turning red. Then he held up his index finger and fished around in his pocket. Sören wondered if he was getting out his cell phone, but then Sören saw papers folded in fourths. Anthony passed it to him and Sören unfolded it, and saw the test results from Anthony's doctor's office. He was negative for HIV and all sexually transmitted diseases.
"Good," Sören said.
"I have my, ah. Prescription." Anthony was referring to Truvada.
"Also good." Sören narrowed his eyes. "I don't know if your doctor told you this, but stomach issues are a potential side effect -"
"I've been on it before, Sören."
"Oh, right." Sören facepalmed, not wanting to think about the time after they broke up. The thought of Anthony "sowing his oats" post-breakup made him irrationally angry, even though Sören himself had eventually gotten back into having sex with other people and he knew it wasn't fair to expect Anthony to be a celibate monk during that time apart.
"Also..." Anthony grinned. "You're such a doctor."
Sören laughed, which helped alleviate some of the sting of thinking about Anthony's sexual history. "I'm sorry. Force of habit, I guess."
"It's cute." Anthony reached across the table and poked the tip of Sören's nose.
Sören crinkled his nose and bit his lower lip, and Anthony growled into his lemonade. That growl didn't help, sending Sören's mind right back to the gutter, thinking of the times Anthony made that same growl when they were fucking. His body started screaming for relief again.
When their meal was finished, they decided to bring their books to the front register to check out. There was a small queue, and Sören let Anthony lean on him. That turned into nuzzling and petting, and Sören was a little startled when it was their turn.
Anthony let Sören pay for his books first, and then Anthony paid for his own. Sören was a little concerned when everything went into separate bags and Anthony took his bag from the counter. "Do you want me to carry it?" Sören asked.
Anthony shook his head firmly. "I need to," he said.
Sören tried not to grumble; there was a difference between toxic pride and taking on more than one could handle, and needing to do at least some things for oneself. Anthony noticed the look on Sören's face and said, "If I need help, I won't hesitate to ask, Sören."
"OK, fair."
The bag did slow Anthony down on the way back, and halfway to the villa he had to stop for a moment. Sören thought about offering to take the bag again, but he thought better of it, not wanting to offend Anthony by asking.
Once they reached the villa, Anthony put his bag down on the sidewalk and came closer to Sören, putting an arm around him. "Would you like me to wait outside with you while you call a cab -"
That was when Elaine came out of the house again, as if she'd been watching at the window to wait for their return. "I can drive you back, Sören."
Anthony made a noise. "Mum. Mother."
"What?" Elaine narrowed her eyes. "It's not any trouble, and this way Sören doesn't have to call a cab -"
Sören chuckled and gave Anthony a reassuring pat. "Takk, Elaine, that's good of you."
Elaine drove a cobalt blue Aston Martin Rapide, which made Sören feel like he was in a James Bond movie. He felt a little guilty about Anthony having to get in the car, and knew getting out would also be a pain for him, but Anthony didn't want to stay home while Elaine brought Sören back. Sören sat in the back seat with Anthony, and Elaine put on jazz as she got on the road.
"How was your date?" Elaine asked.
"Good," Sören said, and Anthony nodded. Sören put an arm around Anthony. "I really liked going to Greenleaf, we'll have to do that again."
Anthony kissed Sören's cheek. "I'm glad. I worried after I suggested it that you might not like it. Which I realize sounds ridiculous, I know you like reading -"
"It's normal to have nerves on a date, and want to make a good impression, dear," Elaine said.
Anthony rolled his eyes and Sören chuckled. "Well, she's right," Sören said. "I mean hell, when we went to go see Jurassic World last week I worried you'd think it was hokey..."
"See?" Elaine laughed too. "I think it really matters less where you go and what you do, more that you enjoy each other's company, and clearly you do."
"We do," Sören said, taking Anthony's hand and squeezing.
"The two of you were so good together. I can't say enough how glad I am that you're back together," Elaine said. Then she glanced into the rearview mirror and said, "On that note, Sören, I hope that you're not going back because you think Roger and I would mind if you spent the night. We have no objections -"
"Mother," Anthony said, with such a pained look on his face that Sören couldn't help but laugh.
"It's not that," Sören said. "Nick asked me to come back tonight." He didn't want to get into how his nesting partner still needed some time to adjust to Sören being with Anthony. "And Anthony's pretty beat after all that walking..."
"I see. How is Nicholas?" Elaine asked.
"Good," Sören said. "It's wild you guys knew each other growing up. It's hard to think Nick was ever a kid."
"He was just as serious when he was young, yes," Elaine said, chuckling. "But he was a good friend. I'm glad he's around again, too. Tell him I'm looking forward to getting together with him for coffee and/or some antiquing, hm? Maybe when you and Anthony go on your next date."
Sören and Anthony looked at each other. "Right, I should have scheduled that while we were at the cafe," Sören said. "I got a bit distracted." Even now, looking into Anthony's green eyes, Sören felt like his head was spinning, like he could barely string two coherent sentences together. He was falling in love with Anthony all over again.
"Me too," Anthony said, smiling; he reached out to touch Sören's face and Sören felt a tingle go through him.
Sören reluctantly pulled back to fish out his cell phone and look at his calendar. Then he made noises. "So, next week I alternate between working overnights and working until late." He gave Anthony an apologetic look.
Anthony's smile became a frown. "Oh."
Sören showed him the calendar, just to reassure him that he wasn't being ghosted, and he rubbed Anthony's shoulder while he looked at it. "I have an idea, though," Sören said. "I don't know what your afternoons look like, but if you want to see me sometime next week I can clear an afternoon. Nick teaches during the summer too, so he'll still be on campus -"
"Oh!" Anthony brightened a little, and nodded. He squinted at the calendar again. "How does the fifteenth... Wednesday afternoon, work for you?"
"It works for me. Around one or so? If I'm back by five, it'll give me a chance to get a nap before going in at eleven on Wednesday night."
"OK. What would you like to do?" Anthony cocked his head to one side.
You. But Sören knew they couldn't go there just yet. He rubbed his beard as he thought, and then he checked the weather forecast on his phone. "It should be sunny on Wednesday. How do you feel about going to St. James's Park and having a picnic, and watching the pelican feeding between two and two thirty?" Nicholas had taken him there on a Saturday afternoon back in May, and Sören was delighted by the pelicans.
Anthony hesitated, and looked at his cane, and Sören realized he probably felt self-conscious about going to such a public place in daytime in the summer, but before Sören could suggest something else, Anthony nodded. "All right. I like birds."
"Good." Sören smiled. He really liked being in pretty scenic places - that was indeed something they hadn't done enough of during the nearly two years they were together, and Sören felt like it would be good for them to fix that.
Anthony gave a shy little smile back, and Sören kissed his cheek encouragingly.
"Oh, how lovely," Elaine said. "It's been awhile since I've been to St. James's Park myself. I should drag Roger along sometime."
Anthony laughed at that. "That sounds so romantic, Mum, dragging Dad along."
"Well, you know. Your father isn't exactly the most romantic person. But he shows he cares in other ways. I think you got your sentimentality from me." Elaine glanced at Sören in the rearview mirror. "Before he argues that he's not, he sleeps with a picture of you under his pillow. He has since before he moved back home -"
Anthony double facepalmed and made a tormented little howl. "Mother. Mum. I swear to god."
But Sören thought that was adorable, and it made him ache. He found himself hugging Anthony hard, eyes burning with unshed tears. While he was glad to be with his other partners, especially Nicholas, he wished things had never fallen apart, he wished there had been a way for them to walk down that aisle in 2013, and somehow still find their way to the others, though Sören wondered about how it would work out with nesting with them both.
The fact that he was even entertaining that idea terrified him, and he pulled back. This is moving way too fast. He destroyed my trust, I can't let him in like this just yet. Even so, his heart wanted what it wanted.
They cuddled for the rest of the ride to Covent Garden. However awkward Anthony might have felt it was for Elaine to drive them, Sören still felt cozy snuggling with him in the back seat, in the soft blue dusk of the summer evening. When they were a few blocks away, Sören called Nicholas's cell phone to let him know he was on his way, and then resumed cuddling Anthony, not wanting to miss a moment of feeling him close, watching the dusk deepen to the black of night, aching for all those nights they'd missed since October 2013.
At last they pulled up to the curb and Sören said to Elaine, "Thank you very much for the ride home," Sören said.
"No problem. You know, if you're coming out this way, or if you need a ride anywhere, you can always call me -"
"Mum," Anthony said in a pained tone of voice, "please."
Sören elbowed him, chuckling. "She's just trying to be nice. And I may take you up on that, Elaine, depending on what it is. Waiting for a cab can be a bit of a hassle."
"Yes, which is exactly why I offered, Cornelius Anthony," Elaine said, though despite her stern tone, she was smiling in the rearview mirror.
"Well..." Sören stroked Anthony's cheek. "I don't want to make you get out of the car -"
"No, it's OK. I... feel I should walk you to the door, at least," Anthony said.
"Yes, walk him to the door like a gentleman and give him a proper kiss," Elaine said.
"MOTHER."
Sören tried not to laugh too hard as he made his way around to the other side of the car to help Anthony out. Sören could see Nicholas in the lobby, in his pajamas, so Sören didn't want to take too long, even though he didn't want a rushed goodbye with Anthony, either. Anthony moved Sören out of the range of sight from the doors, and then kissed him - Sören realized that was wise, hoping Nicholas wouldn't come out of the lobby, not wanting to make things even more tense with kissing Anthony in front of him. Sören wrapped his arms around Anthony, kissing him hard, melting, wishing he could stop time for a little while and just lose himself in the kiss.
When they pulled apart, their faces were still close for a moment and they rubbed noses. Anthony reached with his free hand to pet Sören's curls, stroke his face, skritch his beard. "I love you," Anthony husked.
"I love you too, elskan."
They kissed again, more softly. Then Sören said, "So Wednesday at one? And, ah, how do you want to go about transportation?"
"Mum will probably never leave me alone unless I let her drive me." Anthony cringed and rolled his eyes.
"Well, if you guys pick me up here, that saves me a bit of time."
"All right. I'm sorry -"
"Don't be sorry."
"I feel... stupid. Like I'm some kid whose mummy has to chauffeur him around."
"Oh, Anthony." Sören shook his head. "It's OK. Seriously. I don't mind."
"I mind. But I suppose it's something I have to learn to live with."
"It could be worse." Sören snickered. "It could be your dad."
"Oh, GOD."
Sören laughed harder, kissed Anthony's cheek, and gave him a little squeeze. Then he said, "Feel free to call me between now and Wednesday."
"I will. That's almost a week away, and I'll miss you."
Sören's stomach did somersaults. "I'll miss you too, elskan. I love you."
"Love you too."
Sören watched Anthony hobble back to the car and Elaine waved, and Sören waved at them both. Nicholas opened the door for him, and immediately took Sören's bag of books, like a gentleman, even though Sören had no trouble carrying it.
"Ah, I see you have new books for the library," Nicholas said approvingly.
"And maybe for us to read together, and discuss."
Nicholas smiled, eyes crinkling up. Sören loved that, and couldn't resist hugging him and giving him a kiss.
"You're such a sweet, thoughtful boy," Nicholas said softly, and put an arm around Sören, leading him to the elevator.
Once in the elevator, Sören snuggled into Nicholas's chest, rubbing his nose in the silver fur exposed in the V-neck of his pajama top, loving the way it made him feel safe, like Nicholas was his teddy bear. Nicholas pet his curls and rocked him. "How was your date?" Nicholas asked.
"It was good, Daddy." Sören looked up at him. "How was your reading?"
"Good." Nicholas nodded. "Although, I didn't just read."
"No? Oh, I suppose you cooked dinner for yourself too..."
"There's leftovers if you want anything, I didn't know how much you'd eat at Greenleaf."
"I had a big salad. It was actually pretty filling, but I'd be happy to take the leftovers as lunch tomorrow."
"Did you have dessert? Do you want dessert?"
Sören crinkled his nose and bit his lower lip.
Nicholas's laughter rang out and he swatted Sören's ass as the lift chimed at their floor. "You incorrigible boy."
Tobias immediately began to chirp and rub against Sören's legs, demanding pettings, after they walked in. Sören scooped him up and for a moment Tobias perched on his shoulder purring loudly as Sören stroked him and gave him kisses. Then Tobias got down and scratched happily at a scratching post. It was then Sören noticed the lights were dim in the flat, and there was a trail of pink rose petals leading from the living room and kitchen, out to the hall. Nicholas put the bag of books down on the coffee table and gestured for Sören to follow.
Sören ended up following him up the stairs to the rooftop garden - there were rose petals all the way up the stairs. Sören gasped when he saw what was waiting in the rooftop garden - the fairy lights were lit, as well as lanterns and candles on the table, and lanterns hanging from hooks around the garden. On the table there was a bouquet of pink roses, and a bottle of champagne with champagne glasses, and glasses of pink champagne jelly with whipped cream and sponge fingers.
And on the floor of the rooftop garden, Nicholas had set up cushions with a sheet over it, and pillows; more pink rose petals were scattered around the makeshift bed. Sören saw a bowl on the floor beside the pillows that had a bottle of massage oil and a bottle of lubricant.
"Nick." Sören grabbed him and kissed his cheek, and started raining kisses over his face, absolutely delighted and touched. Once again tears came to his eyes and he felt like he was soaring, feeling like he could break into pieces from how much he loved this man.
Nicholas chuckled before he took Sören's face in his and kissed him, soft and sweet at first, then more deeply. Sören shivered as Nicholas's hands ran over him, and Sören's own hands roamed over Nicholas's body, wanting.
But first, he was going to enjoy the trouble that his mate had gone to. Nicholas poured them each a glass of champagne. "To trust," Nicholas said softly.
"To trust." Sören felt just the slightest sting - Anthony had betrayed that trust two years ago, and there had been warning signs months into the relationship, when Sören felt out of sorts around Anthony's friends. In five months with Nicholas, there had not even been one incident to give him pause and it was a bitter contrast. Sören tried not to make comparisons, feeling like it wasn't fair, and made himself focus on the thoughtfulness of Nicholas setting all of this up for them to have some quality time with what remained of the evening.
They drank, and Nicholas gave him a hungry look over the champagne. As soon as Sören drained his glass, he started to strip - it was after dark, and there was likely no one to see them up here making love or Nicholas wouldn't have set things up this way. Nonetheless, Nicholas chuckled at Sören's "get right down to business" attitude, and stopped laughing when he saw Sören's erection, giving a little sigh.
"You're beautiful," Nicholas said, pulling Sören closer, hand resting on Sören's waist, thumb stroking that sweet spot on the right side of his body where the waist and hip met, where Sören had gotten the fireflower rose tattoo in early June.
"I love you, Nick." Sören threw himself down onto the bedding.
Nicholas laughed again. "I love you too, sweetheart." He brought over the dessert, and then champagne and the glasses for a refill.
They fed each other the pink champagne jelly and whipped cream and sponge fingers, which seemed to taste even more delicious to Sören for the playful sensuality between them. After more sips of champagne, Nicholas got naked - Sören took a long, appreciative glance - then Sören rolled onto his stomach and Nicholas poured the vanilla-flavored massage oil over his back, still warm. Sören moaned as Nicholas worked the oil into him, and then moaned louder as Nicholas straddled his hips, hands kneading, Nicholas's hard cock rubbing against the small of his back, then into the crack of his ass.
The deep, firm massage was just what Sören needed after the last several days of work, soothing him and arousing him all at once, and Nicholas's kisses followed the wake of his hands, kissing and licking Sören's shoulders, then down his sensitive spine. Soon Sören was rubbing against the cushions, going out of his mind with lust and sensation, needing to be taken, fucked.
When the back of Sören was done, Nicholas had him roll over and began working on the front of him, rubbing and kissing his way down. Sören arched to him, panting, his need even stronger, especially now that he could look at Nicholas, admiring the furry, trim body, the hungry look on Nicholas's face, the heat in those dark eyes. Sören felt almost ready to come when Nicholas lingered at his nipples, rubbing them then lapping, suckling, going back and forth between them again and again, sucking harder and harder, at last tugging on the nipple rings with his teeth before lashing his tongue faster, sucking fiercely. When Nicholas rubbed and kissed his stomach, Sören heard himself whimpering, almost sobbing, and let out a cry so loud he worried about the neighbors as Nicholas kissed and licked the rose tattoo at his waist.
Then Nicholas started licking at Sören's cock, teasing him. Sören was so pent up that when Nicholas took the cock into his mouth, it only took a few minutes of sucking - and making eye contact, Nicholas giving him a predatory look that drove him mad with lust - and then Sören exploded in Nicholas's mouth. He hadn't intended on coming that soon, but from the way Nicholas made a deep "mmmmmm" and swallowed his seed, then licked him clean, Sören got the sense that it was just what Nicholas wanted. Nicholas came up to kiss him, and Sören shivered at tasting himself in the kiss, the evidence of Nicholas pleasuring him. "Good boy," Nicholas whispered, and started kissing down Sören's neck. Sören's cock rose again, like he was twenty instead of thirty. Nicholas chuckled, reaching down to stroke it. "I love pleasing you, sweetheart," Nicholas said, and licked Sören's neck, before taking a nibble.
"Oh god." Sören shuddered and dug his nails into Nicholas's back. "God, Nick..."
Sören glanced over at the bowl next to the bedding, looking at the lube, and his gaze focused on the massage oil next to it. Sören grabbed the bottle of massage oil, wanting to return the favor, even though he was already ready to get fucked. "Your turn," Sören said.
They kissed again and Nicholas lay on his stomach. Sören gave the massage his all, kneading, rolling, hands gliding back and forth and in circles, pressing as deep as he could... also kissing Nicholas's back, enjoying the mild vanilla flavor of the massage oil and the taste of Nicholas's skin underneath. Even more than that, he enjoyed the way Nicholas moaned and shivered underneath his hands and tongue. When Nicholas rolled onto his back, Sören gave him a long, hungry look. "You are so fucking sexy," Sören said, running his fingers down the pelt of Nicholas's chest, over his stomach, over the hairy thighs and back up, then back down, resting on Nicholas's cock for a moment before he poured the oil over Nicholas's chest. "God, you get me hot."
Nicholas blushed and chuckled. "Oh, sweetheart."
Sören spent a long time on the front of Nicholas's body, worshiping him with his hands - and his tongue. Sören loved the sight of Nicholas's body glistening with oil in the golden glow of the fairy lights and lanterns and candles, and loved licking Nicholas's chest hair and his nipples, teasing him. As he rubbed Nicholas down, their hard cocks rubbed together, and finally Sören dove down and began to suck Nicholas's cock, slowly, their gaze locked. Nicholas clutched at Sören's head, moaning, until he couldn't take it anymore and grabbed the lube. Sören laughed as he pulled Nicholas's cock out of his mouth, and stopped laughing, both of them moaning, as Sören poured the lube over Nicholas's cock.
Sören sank down and they both cried out when they were fully joined, Nicholas deep inside him. Sören leaned down to kiss him and Nicholas wrapped his arms around him, beginning to thrust. Sören rode slowly at first, savoring, but soon enough need surged through them both and Nicholas grabbed Sören's hips and drove into him as Sören bucked away on top of him, riding hard, trying not to moan and cry out so loud he'd disturb the neighbors, but it felt so good, Nicholas's cock stroking him just right. And when Nicholas's hand wrapped around Sören's cock, the combination of Nicholas's cock stroking that magic place inside him, and Nicholas's hand gripping and working him, made Sören scream, riding even harder, nails digging into Nicholas's shoulders.
"Such a good boy," Nicholas whispered, his other hand reaching up to play with one of Sören's nipples. "Daddy's good boy."
"Oh god." Sören shuddered. Nicholas knew just how to get him to that edge. "Oh god, Daddy..."
"Yes, sweetheart. Daddy wants to take care of his boy..."
"Oh, fuck." Sören shivered again. He was right there, so close...
"Does my good boy want to come for his Daddy?"
"Oh god, oh fuck, yes, Daddy, yes, please..."
There was that last moment of hot, wild fucking that seemed to stretch for an eternity, Sören completely gone in pleasure and passion, and then Nicholas growled, "Come for Daddy," and Sören lost it, throwing his head back and crying out into the night sky as he spent over Nicholas's chest, the orgasm like flying, burning, melting, pure light, like the phoenix on his back. Nicholas groaned and trembled, and Sören felt the hot seed rush inside him, and Sören moaned, loving that feel of Nicholas coming in him, claiming him.
Sören curled up on his chest. "God, that was amazing." He rained kisses over Nicholas's face again. "You were amazing. That was such a wonderful surprise, waiting at home for me."
"I'm glad you enjoyed it." Nicholas smiled tenderly and gave Sören a little kiss, then pulled him close, held him tight, rocking him. "I did indeed want you to feel welcomed home."
Sören felt a little twinge then, wondering if Nicholas was feeling insecure because of Anthony, and thought he had to go out of his way to keep Sören nesting with him. Sören looked up into Nicholas's eyes. "Oh, Nick. I'm not going anywhere." He had to tease him a little. "As you know. I shan't leave you."
"I know," Nicholas said, patting him.
But Sören worried that he didn't, and he hoped over the next few weeks and months, as Nicholas got more used to things, it would put his fears to rest. Sören squeezed him. "Elskan," he husked. "I love you so much. You don't have to prove anything to me."
"I still wanted to do something nice for you," Nicholas said. "Is that so wrong?"
"Well, no. I just..." Sören pursed his lips. "I don't want you to worry and feel like you have to... do extra stuff... to keep me around."
"You need to let your man spoil you without protesting so much." Nicholas kissed the tip of Sören's nose, giving him a mock stern look.
Sören snuggled against him again. He did enjoy this evening very much, and he liked being spoiled - while it also reminded him of Anthony saying the same thing, and that hadn't saved them years ago. But he tried not to let the afterglow cast a shadow, and rested against his partner, safe in his arms, safe in their little nest.
chapter 4 | return to Learning To Fly | return to Other Tolkien Fic | return to index