Sleigh What?: Chapter 3

The time had come to take Palcë clothes shopping. Yeyette was driving; Sören and Maglor were going along for moral support.

Maglor and Yeyette put on their outerwear while Sören checked to make sure he had everything. Yeyette gave Palcë a onceover - he was still in the same getup he'd been wearing since he was rescued back in October: a black gambeson and leather breeches. His silver hair hung to the middle of his back, some of it pulled back in a tail, the rest of it worn loose - just enough to hide the pointy tips of his ears. Then Yeyette's eyes met Maglor's and she knew without him saying anything that he was a little concerned about that outfit in public.

"Are you sure you don't want to borrow one of my outfits for the trip?" Maglor raised an eyebrow. "You, ah... might get fewer funny looks."

"This will suffice," Palcë said, looking displeased with the entire idea of new clothing.

Anthony was in the kitchen having coffee and before Sören could head to the coatrack to put on his outerwear, Sören stopped in the kitchen and put a hand on Anthony's shoulder. "You're coming with us."

Anthony chuckled. "Where are you guys shopping, anyway?"

"The mall in Indianapolis," Yeyette said. At Anthony's raised eyebrow - that was a bit of a drive, close to two hours one way - Yeyette explained, "There's a big-and-tall shop there and Palcë is... definitely tall." Both Palcë and Maglor were close to seven feet tall.

"And you need me to come along because..."

"You can be the style consultant," Sören said.

Anthony laughed harder. "What is this, Queer Eye for the Elf Guy?"

Nonetheless, Anthony went along without a fuss, cuddling with Sören on the ride there. Occasionally Yeyette stole glances at Sören in the rear-view mirror, and couldn't help smiling at the sight of him smiling, looking cozy and content.

It's nice to see you happy, she spoke into his mind. She knew that happiness had been hard-won - and the fight wasn't over yet - but she hoped it lasted. And she hoped that the other reason why she'd chosen the mall in Indy would give Sören an additional reason to smile.


_


"Hey, it's the Witcher!" "Wow, he's even hotter in person." "GERALT! GERALT, I LOVE YOU!" Teenage girls giggling.

Palcë frowned. "I do not know any Geralt, and I am not the Witcher," he told the girls as they passed by.

Maglor patted him. "I did try to warn you," he said gently.

"Hm." Palcë's frown deepened.

"Well, look on the bright side," Sören said. "At least no one's come up to me yet and -"

"OH MY GOD IT'S JON SNOW!" a young woman screamed from several feet away, pointing at Sören. "KING IN THE NORTH!" The small group with her, college students from the looks of them, assorted genders, began to chant "KING IN THE NORTH! KING IN THE NORTH!"

Sören facepalmed. "Never mind."

Anthony gave him a little kiss. "You know nothing, Jon Snow."

"They're not entirely wrong," Palcë said. "You were the King of the Noldor, and 'Formenos' means 'Northern Fortress'..."

"Jæja, could we not right now." Now it was Sören's turn to frown; Yeyette couldn't help chuckling, as the family resemblance between Sören and Palcë was obvious when Sören frowned.

Nonetheless, Yeyette felt for him. October hadn't been that long ago, and it was still a lot to take in. Yeyette didn't think she'd ever really be done processing everything.

When they arrived at the big-and-tall store, a salesman greeted them. "Good afternoon!" His eyes widened at the sight of Palcë. "That's a great costume."

Before Palcë could say it's not a costume, Yeyette gave a too-hearty laugh and said, "Our D&D group meets later and he really gets into it!"

Palcë gave her a confused look and opened his mouth as if to protest. But the salesman went on, "Nice. Is there anything in particular I can help you find?"

Yeyette really didn't want to be hounded by a salesman, but she also knew he was just doing his job, so she tried not to be grumpy. "We'll let you know," she said, and gave a small push with the Force at the end of that sentence, since she wasn't in the mood to be followed.

They went to the tall section and began looking around. Yeyette noticed that clothing for big-and-tall people was significantly pricier, but money was no object. Making sure that Palcë didn't stand out any more than he already did was the object.

Of course, it was one thing to look at clothing and another thing to get Palcë to actually wear it. Anthony started pulling items off the rack and Palcë would just frown. After five tries of this, Anthony sighed.

Yeyette put a hand on Palcë's arm. "I know you don't like this, but -"

"I feel naked without armor," Palcë said.

"Yes, but. You will feel even more naked and vulnerable if we take you out in public and people make a big scene because they think you're the Witcher or some kind of cosplayer or... or something." Yeyette's voice lowered as she went on, "You know the situation we're in. We're supposed to be keeping a low profile. That's easier said than done being what we all are, but..."

"I do not want to cause you problems," Palcë said. "I... will try to comply. It is simply difficult for me, to think of wearing different clothing. Clothing without armor." Clothing that isn't the last thing I have of the days before.

Anthony started showing Palcë a selection of cashmere sweaters, like the ones he wore. Though one was black, and Yeyette imagined Palcë would get away with wearing all black if he could - like his gambeson and breeches - she also knew from past experience that wearing all black in a place like Beauregard was another thing that would make a person stand out, under suspicion of being "one of those Satanists". Though, Anthony seemed to understand Palcë favored darker colors so the other sweaters he showed off were all in deeper shades of blue, green, grey.

Anthony also picked out some jeans for Palcë, as well as some T-shirts in solid colors, both long and short sleeve. Then Anthony brought Palcë over to the dress clothes. "In case you're going out to dinner or another function," Anthony explained. He picked out button-down shirts in darker colors, and trousers - black, khaki, dark grey. Anthony paused at the suits, stroking his chin. "I think for something like a suit it would probably be better to visit a tailor and get something made custom..."

Yeyette snorted; she couldn't see Palcë in a suit. Neither could Palcë himself, who was frowning again. "I would rather cut off one of my limbs than wear a suit," Palcë said, his voice quiet and deadly. "Or better yet, cut off a limb from the person who insisted upon it..."

Yeyette looked around to make sure nobody was eavesdropping, not wanting to cause alarm. Anthony quickly changed the subject. "Right," he said, marching to the pajamas. "Let's get you some stuff to wear to bed..."

Of course, Sören was amused by this, and Maglor was trying to disguise his amusement and not quite succeeding. Yeyette couldn't help laughing a little as she watched Palcë browsing the pajama sets and bathrobes - she'd never seen someone look so disgruntled at pajamas before.

"I like this robe," Sören said, holding up a cerulean terry bathrobe. "It looks so fluffy."

At the word "fluffy", Palcë's frown intensified.

Sören and Anthony started laughing, and Sören put the robe back on the rack and pulled his phone out of his pocket. His fingers pressed buttons on the screen, and then he held his phone out - he'd gone into his folder of reaction memes and he had one ready.

Palcë read it aloud. "No talk me. I'm angy."

Those words out of Palcë's mouth made it even funnier. Yeyette giggled and clapped a hand over her mouth. She felt almost a little guilty for laughing.

"Why is it misspelled like that? Why is the grammar so bad?" Palcë sounded confused.

"Because it's kittens," Sören said. "It's like how a lot of small children fumble English."

As Sören put his phone back in his pocket, his eyes caught something in the distance. Before Yeyette could ask what, Sören pointed and marched over. He pulled something that looked like a blanket in a clear plastic envelope from a display rack, and Yeyette saw the label on it: Snuggie.

"He needs one," Sören said, "being traumatized by the shopping trip and all."

"What... is a Snuggie. Is it like angy?" Palcë asked, scowling.

"Snuggie is for when you're feeling angy, to help you feel the opposite of angy." Sören tucked the Snuggie under his arm. "We're getting it."

The next order of business was a coat for Palcë - even though Elves tolerated cold better than humans, winter in Indiana could get very cold, and Palcë being outside without outerwear would arouse suspicion with any passerby, or worse, a good Samaritan thinking he was in need of assistance. Palcë went with a black wool trenchcoat similar to the ones Sören and Maglor wore. Palcë also picked out some socks and underwear, with Maglor helping him to find the right size since they were of a similar build.

After that, Palcë spent some time in the fitting room trying everything on, except for the Snuggie, which stayed in its packaging, and the socks and underwear. When it was determined that everything fit correctly, they went to the cash register, where the salesman who'd greeted them looked way too eager to be ringing them up; Yeyette had a feeling the guy was probably working on commission.

Sören's eyebrows shot up at the total, but Yeyette had been expecting this, and Palcë needed less conspicuous clothing. While Palcë wasn't as familiar with modern American culture as Maglor was, nonetheless Palcë seemed to understand enough about money that when the salesman said they would get ten percent off their order if they signed up for the catalog, Palcë said, "I will sign up," before Yeyette could decline.

"Oh... we could put it in my name," Yeyette said, not thrilled with the idea of more junk mail.

"It is fine to put it in my name," Palcë said.

"First name?" The salesman's fingers hovered above the keypad.

"Palcë. P, A, L, C, E."

The salesman's lips quirked. "Is that French?"

"Yes," Yeyette said before Palcë could deny it.

The salesman typed it in. "Last name?"

Yeyette was going to let Palcë use her surname of Arnaud, but before she could say so, Palcë said, "L'..." and Yeyette wondered if he was going to say "l'Aigle," like Victor's surname only without the "de"... and then Palcë finished with, "Angy. L'Angy."

The salesman was completely deadpan as he typed the name in; Sören and Anthony were both shaking with silent laughter, trying not to completely lose it.

The salesman put in the address, charged Yeyette's card, and began to bag up the clothing. From a few feet away Yeyette heard whispers, and then a woman's voice. "Look - the Witcher!" The woman, who was with an unhappy-looking middle-aged man, started waving her arms frantically. "Can I have your autograph?"

Palcë took the navy cashmere sweater away from the pile, and a pair of dark blue jeans, before the salesman could bag it up. "I will be wearing these out of the store." Before the salesman could say yes or no, Palcë was walking towards the dressing room to put on the new outfit.


_


While the bags of clothing were heavy, a few pairs of hands made it easier to carry around. Instead of heading out to where the minivan was parked, Yeyette took them in the opposite direction.

"Where are we going?" Anthony asked.

Yeyette smirked. "You'll see."

Sören's face lit up when Yeyette stopped in front of Build-A-Bear Workshop. Yeyette turned to Sören and said, "This is an early Christmas present. My heart couldn't take it after what you told me about Juniper..."

Sören swallowed hard, eyes misting. "Jæja. I... takk." Sören dropped his bag on the floor, went right to Yeyette, and hugged her hard. Maglor took the bag from her so she could hug him back, squeezing him tight, her own eyes tearing up as she remembered the story of how Juniper had trashed their apartment. Her fists clenched as she thought about how Juniper had stalked him.

You're safe now. They rocked each other for a moment; Yeyette tousled his curls. You're with your family.

They walked into Build-A-Bear and a sales associate let them check their bags so they could have their hands free while browsing. Sören was like a big kid, picking stuffed animals up off the shelves and hugging them, playing with them for a minute before putting them back on the shelf, trying to decide.

At last Sören settled on a rainbow-tie-dye bunny with floppy ears and a sweet smile. "This one," he said.

"You can get him an outfit, too." Yeyette quickly added, "Her. Them. Ah..."

"You were right the first time," Sören said. "Him. No reason why boys can't be fabulous."

Sören picked out glittery fairy wings for his bunny, and a small crown and magic wand. Yeyette smiled - that was so very him. Then Sören did something even more himself. He turned to Anthony and said, "I'll pay if you pick out a friend for Finn, too."

"Finn?" Yeyette raised an eyebrow.

"My... lion." Anthony's cheeks flushed pink. "I've had him since I was four."

"Awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww -"

"Yeah." Anthony glanced off to the side, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

"There's no shame in that," Sören said. "Everyone needs a soft friend to snuggle with." Sören turned to Maglor and Palcë. "That means you too. Pick out whatever you want, I'll pay."

Palcë declined with a simple headshake, but after a brief hesitation, Maglor started looking around, deep in thought. "You have any suggestions?" Maglor asked.

"Well..." Sören rubbed his beard. "Seems something mythical would be fitting for you, so maybe..." Sören picked up a purple unicorn with a teal, yellow, and pink mane, and a sparkly pink horn and hooves. "A unicorn?"

"Sure," Maglor said, laughing softly.

Anthony got a plush shark. Then Palcë finally gave in and chose a fluffy white wolf for himself.

"You getting anything?" Sören asked Yeyette.

"I have enough Hello Kitty and Pusheen memorabilia to start a museum," Yeyette said half-jokingly. "Maybe you should bring back something for Nicholas, though."

It took Sören a little while, and with some consultation from Anthony, they picked out a blue dragon. The thought of Nicholas cuddling with a stuffed dragon made Yeyette laugh, especially the idea of him trying to maintain dignity and decorum while doing so.

Sören seemed to be thinking about that too, his face lit up again as he paid for Maglor, Palcë, Anthony, and Nicholas's toys. When they were all finished paying, Sören gave Yeyette another hug.

"I hope Santa is watching and puts you on the Nice list for this," Sören said.

Yeyette snickered. "Oh come on, a girl has a reputation to uphold. We can't have the world thinking I've gone soft." She put on her best bitchface before laughing, and gave Sören a noogie.


_


After dinner at the farmhouse, Sören, Nicholas and Anthony got into their pajamas, and Palcë took that as his cue to get into nightclothes as well. When Palcë came down in a set of blue-and-green plaid flannel pajamas, it was so different from what Yeyette was used to that she stopped in the middle of making hot chocolate and leaned against the counter in hysterics.

"I'm sorry," she said, trying to catch her breath. "I'm -"

Palcë frowned.

"I know I look ludicrous," Palcë said.

"Awwwww, Dad," Sören said. "It's not that bad, really. It could be worse."

"How could it be worse?"

Sören got out the Snuggie and used the Force to put it on Palcë before Palcë took a seat. The combination of the scowl and the blue plaid Snuggie made Yeyette laugh even harder. The very idea of Palcë, one of the Unbegotten, wearing pajamas and a Snuggie was just too much.

"It is truly a frightening sight," Nicholas said.

"That's the effect we're going for, right? To put fear in the hearts of our enemies?" Anthony grinned.

"And this way the Yule Cat won't eat you," Sören said.

"I know something even scarier than that... getup," Maglor said. "And it involves the Yule Cat."

All eyes were on him.

"Let me tell you a story." Maglor went to the kitchen to get a flashlight then hit the lights on his way back into the living room, shining the flashlight on his face for dramatic effect as he sat down. The hearth fire burned, creating an eerie play of light and shadow. "You know the legend of Grýla and Leppalúði, and their cat, but you don't know the legend behind the legend. The little grain of truth that was distorted over time, like a game of telephone, and became the folklore of the Yule Cat."

"And you do?" Sören cocked his head to one side. "Well, I suppose you're old enough..."

"There once was a brother and sister," Maglor said, "who were so close everyone thought they were married."

Sören and Yeyette looked at each other across the room, in the shadows and firelight.

"They were both known for their terrible wrath. And between the two of them they had many, many children, who were known far and wide as mischief makers, starting trouble wherever they went."

OK, that hits a little too close to home. A shiver went through Yeyette, her memories as Náriel resurfacing.

Maglor continued, "The woman had a cat who went everywhere with her, even into battle. And after he passed on, their bond had been such that sometimes, her foes would see the apparition of a ghost-cat... as the last thing they saw."

Definitely hits too close to home. Yeyette looked down and instinctively reached for Eugène. Mau.

"Because the Dark Lord could only make Orcs of those with evil already in their hearts, parents warned their children that if they were bad, the huntress would get them before the Dark Lord did. And because one of the signs of Orc transformation was refusing one's clothing and going about naked, even in winter weather, it was said that the huntress's cat would eat those who did not receive new clothing at the winter solstice, the darkest night of the year when the Dark Lord's power was at its peak."

Yeyette remembered the toxicology cases at the emergency room, the people on meth who were showing signs of being changed. Two-thirds of them had been brought in naked. Another chill went through her.

"So you see," Maglor concluded, "that legend is a bit more real than you think." Maglor turned off the flashlight and used the Force to put the lights back on.

"I need a drink," Sören said. Victor nodded and got up to head to the liquor cabinet - nobody drank often, but they were still stocked for special occasions. This was... special.

Sören and Yeyette's eyes met, and locked as Victor brought him a shot of Brennivín imported from Iceland. Eugène climbed onto Yeyette with a "Prrrp?"

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