The day after the leak of the draft written by Samuel Alito in favor of the Supreme Court overturning Roe v. Wade, Anthony and DeKalb were playing darts in the basement. The dart board had a picture of Samuel Alito on it.
Both men were Forceful, so to make it fair they had to use their hands to throw the darts and not the Force. After six throws, DeKalb landed a bullseye and put his hands up. Then he glared at the dartboard in disgust. "I can't look at him anymore."
"Fair," Anthony said. "He makes me sick."
They sat down and had iced coffee. "How is Yeyette taking this?" Anthony asked, concerned - Yeyette had been scarce since the news broke.
DeKalb gave a bitter laugh. "About as well as you think."
Anthony nodded solemnly. His shoulders heaved with a deep sigh. "It's not something I have to worry about with Sören, or Nicholas, or Maglor, but I feel for Yeyette. She's family to me, she doesn't deserve this. Nobody does. And the way that decision is worded, going after the 14th Amendment, you know they're going after LGBT rights next. And possibly interracial marriage."
"Yup."
"It's infuriating."
"The whole world seems to be going mad," DeKalb said. "Putin forces his way into Ukraine to make the people suffer. These Republican assholes are controlling cis women's and trans men's bodies and are going to cause a lot of suffering. Next they're coming for everyone else who isn't just like them. Both Putin and the Republicans think they're on the side of God, and so they can play God with people's lives, and punish the 'sinners'." DeKalb made air quotes.
Anthony scowled. "Seems like they're being played by dark forces."
There was a long silence. Both men knew Sauron and Morgoth were at large.
Anthony glanced over at the dartboard, remembering the European folklore of "elf-shot". "I almost became a barrister. I went into archaeology instead, became a professor, but... that would have been my second choice. Sometimes I wonder if I made the wrong choice, if I should be out there in the courts fighting for civil rights..." He leaned back in his seat, sipped his coffee, and shook his head. "If there is an evil sorcerous influence, warping already-corrupt hearts and minds, putting the corruption on an amplifier, that makes things a bit harder."
"Doesn't it just."
The reminder of "elf-shot" with the dartboard reminded Anthony of something else, desperate for a bright moment in the increasingly grim state of the world. "I promise you this is relevant to the discussion: When Sören and I came back from grocery shopping a few weeks ago, we found a bit of a mess, like the cats had gotten into things. Except this was different than usual."
"Oh?"
"So there's a curse from medieval Icelandic grimoires, called fretrúnir, that will allegedly make the recipient fart themselves to death. Remember when Sören and Yeyette half-jokingly did the fretrúnir curse on Sören's horrible ex Juniper and her new boyfriend Larry?"
"I sure do."
"Sören said when he and Yeyette were at Harvard there was a public access cartoon called Thule Magician Fred where a guy with a heavy New York accent claimed he was a 'Norse shaman' and used to make 'awfrins' to the Alfar to do his rune spells -"
"No shit." DeKalb shook with silent laughter, his eyes tearing up. "Was he that guy who stormed the Capitol on 1/6?"
"Right?" Anthony laughed too.
"So wait, wait... when you say the cats made a mess, and then you bring this up -"
"The mess was newspapers on the floor... an ad for a tractor... and on top of the ad, zip-ties twisted into the shape of runes. Sören recognized the fretrúnir. The live feed from The Guardian was on Yeyette's laptop, we think one of the cats left it on, and on your gaming console there was an article about the fretrúnir. Also the box of Greenies was out and hadn't been put back. I think the cats cursed Putin... and offered Greenies to the Alfar." Anthony doubled over, wheezing.
DeKalb howled with laughter. "Isn't that something. Well, I hope it works. Fucker."
When they calmed down a little, DeKalb suggested, "Hey, you know what? Let's curse Alito and the other conservatives on the Supreme Court."
Anthony clapped his hands and rubbed them together. "What a splendid idea."
DeKalb smirked. "Here, let me get an 'awfrin' to the Alfar..." He got up and went over to the mini-fridge and took out a sports drink. Once he sat down, he said, "I think those fuckers deserve worse than the fart runes. They deserve... all the runes. A rune storm."
"I agree."
"You're the archaeologist and you're with an Icelander so you're probably more familiar with ancient Norse stuff than I am, if you want to sound off the runes."
Anthony took a deep breath. He was agitated enough from the Roe v. Wade draft and what it meant for people like Yeyette here in a conservative state like Indiana, that the usual futhark order failed him, and he just recited what came to mind. "Mannaz. Perthro. Raidho. Ehwaz. Gebo..."
Samuel Alito fidgeted impatiently as he waited for Lord Mairon at the sewage plant. Mairon had sent an outfit for him to wear ahead of time - a cutesy pink "lolita" outfit - and Alito not only felt ridiculous wearing it, but the dress was stiff and uncomfortable.
He also didn't understand why Lord Mairon wanted to meet him here, of all places. No fancy dinner, no swanky hotel, but a sewage plant.
Mairon arrived five minutes late, dressed in a black blazer over a black shirt with black trousers and silver-embossed black leather cowboy boots, and black aviator glasses that hid his inhuman eyes. Alito knelt and kissed Mairon's fire opal ring before Mairon put his hand on Alito's head.
Then Mairon slapped Alito across the face, unzipped his trousers, and pulled out his cock. "Suck it, Handmaid."
"Yes, my lord."
Alito sucked it greedily - he was willing to endure all manner of mistreatment to service that gorgeous cock. He sucked so fast and hard that he gagged, and when he let the cock slip from his mouth Mairon slapped him again, grabbed him by the hair, and thrust into Alito's mouth, fucking his throat, making Alito choke. Alito's cock rose under his dress - no underwear allowed - and he whimpered, hoping Mairon would get the message.
"Such a cock-hungry little slut, aren't you, Handmaid?"
"Mmhmm!"
Before Mairon could come in the Supreme Court Justice's mouth, he pulled out, and slapped Alito in the face again. Then he slapped Alito's face with his cock. "I bet you want this inside you."
"Yes, my lord."
"Louder."
"YES, MY LORD! YES!"
"Tell me you want it. Beg me for it."
"PLEASE FUCK ME WITH YOUR BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC DICK, LORD MAIRON! PLEASE, USE ME LIKE THE WHORE I AM!"
Mairon backhanded Alito hard enough to knock him over, and then his laughter rang out, echoing. "You think you're good enough for this cock, you insignificant little ant? I'm not putting this inside you, no." Mairon put his fingers in his mouth and whistled. "You're going to get fucked, but not by me."
Out rolled a sewage vacuum truck. Unmanned. Driving itself. It beeped.
Alito's mouth opened. Before he could scream in protest, Mairon waved his hand and Alito rose up in the air and floated across the room, back pressed to the wall. The skirt of Alito's pink lolita dress flew up and the vacuum nozzle came snaking forward. Then the nozzle shoved up his ass.
In and out, in and out, the sewage truck's vacuum nozzle fucked Samuel Alito's asshole. It was the filthiest, most degrading thing Alito had ever been subjected to in his life, and worst of all, he found himself enjoying it, because at heart he really was a depraved slut. He reached down to frantically stroke his own cock, and Mairon waved his hand again and Alito's arm moved involuntarily to smack himself in the head.
"Whores don't get to come!" Mairon shouted.
The sewage truck fucked Alito harder and the rhythm inside him made his balls ache for release. But no release was to be had for a dirty whore like Samuel Alito. Alito whimpered, begging Mairon for mercy, begging "Let me come, please, let me come, my lord, let me come..." and Mairon just laughed, stroking himself as he watched.
Finally Mairon came - and when he did, the truck's vacuum nozzle shot a load of sewage up Alito's ass, then pulled out of Alito... and spewed sewage all over the Supreme Court Justice, like the sewage was cum. Alito's shriek was muffled by the coughing, almost drowning in the flood of stinking filth. The sewage poured and poured - Alito drank some of it involuntarily and it made him vomit - and Mairon came again, thrilled by the torture.
When it was all over, Mairon stood there, hands on hips, looking disdainfully at the Supreme Court Justice on his knees, covered in sewage, reeking of it, sobbing and hyperventilating.
"Pathetic," Mairon said.
"Can I come now?"
"No. I told you whores don't get to come. Be grateful I let you live, you pathetic worm." Mairon spat on Alito and walked away. Before he left, he looked over his shoulder - Alito was still on his knees, shaking - and Mairon took off his sunglasses and winked. "See you next time, babe."
Thirteen months later, Samuel Alito was still pregnant. Alito had tried to take a black-market abortion pill and it didn't work. He'd had to leave the Supreme Court - he'd had to fake his own death and disappear completely, this couldn't get out.
The worst part, adding insult to injury, was when the fetuses - plural - beeped and vroomed instead of kicking.
Mairon had taken the ring away after Alito left the Supreme Court. "You won't be needing this anymore." But there was still a way Alito could get in touch with him - a small glass ball - and so here he was again, crying into the glass, begging Mairon for mercy.
"You'll carry them as long as I see fit, Handmaid," Mairon scoffed. "That's your purpose now. If you can't serve me on the Supreme Court, you will be a vessel for giving me spawn. It takes time for them to develop properly."
He was going to have little trucks to take care of, whenever Mairon decided he could stop being pregnant and give birth already. Until such time, he felt like a watermelon on legs. He'd lost teeth, he had diabetes now, and his blood pressure was through the roof. It was like being in hell. He hated Mairon and wished he'd never sworn to serve him.
Most of all, he hated himself.