by Detergent
Sören sat up in bed with his laptop and a mug of hot chocolate, surfing some indie shops, looking for Christmas gifts for people on the farm. He took a sip from his mug and the melted marshmallows topping his treat slid down and bonked him in the nose, leaving a sugary smudge of colour. He set the mug carefully on the coaster on his nightstand, clicking away, pausing to look at this and that. He wanted to get Maglor something that would cheer him up, something that pertained to music. And he wanted to get Yeytte something cute, something rather personal. She had declined to build her own stuffed animal at Build-a-Bear when they drove to Indianapolis to purchase Palcë a modern wardrobe and he wanted her to have something sweet and silly like the bunny he had chosen to make.
He found what he wanted for Maglor straight away- a retro toy store had an entire collection of KISS action figures including guitars and drum-set, extra outfits, and what was billed as 'Real Make-up Action!' where the owner of the KISS dolls could use warm or cold water to cause the face paint on their dolls to appear or disappear. Maglor definitely needed a set of KISS dolls- he was a bard and well, KISS were sort of bards too, so it made sense in Sören's eyes. He added the dolls to the cart and then opened a different tab in his browser, still trying to find something that seemed right and was also something he could get Yeyette to accept. She had always been odd about favours and gifts, even moreso since the summer of their freshman year at University. She wouldn't accept the offer of making a plush at Build-a-Bear, citing she had too much Pusheen and Hello Kitty memorabilia but he had seen her collection and it hadn't struck him as too excessive. She was definitely doing her 'I can get by on my own,' thing again. He sighed and started browsing things that had little to do with Pusheen or Hello Kitty so she couldn't use her collection to deflect the gift.
Anthony entered the bedroom, fresh from the shower, looking handsome as always in his monogrammed pyjamas. When he saw Sören propped up in bed, wearing Pusheen pyjamas, he grinned a lopsided smile and made straight for him. He flopped down on the bed beside Sören, still grinning, his eyes sparkling as if he had a secret.
"What are you up to, sweetheart?" he asked, pushing himself up with his hands, rucking up the covers.
Sören didn't mind. He set his laptop aside for a moment, caught between a sigh and a giggle, seeing Anthony looking so suave in his elegant pyjamas but with that look of utter mischief on his face.
"I've been looking for a gift for Maglor and one for Yeyette for Christmas. Maglor has been so easy to shop for- I'm getting him KISS dolls, er, action figures. He is a big fan and so it was a no-brainer when I saw them. Look, they have detachable capes and an entire wardrobe and everything. They even have little passports. He needs those KISS dolls after everything he lost. So I'm buying them."
Anthony nodded. He looked away for a moment, choked up by what Maglor and Palcë had gone through to come home to the farm and their family. In a moment, however, he turned back to Sören and his dark eyes started sparkling again and once more the corner of his mouth turned up.
"Come a bit closer," he beckoned, crooking an index finger in a come hither gesture.
Sören leaned towards him.
"Jæja?"
"Bit closer..."
Sören leaned until he had to put a hand against the mattress to keep his balance. Anthony darted in and playfully licked the hot chocolate and marshmallow off of his nose and gave him a peck on the lips for good measure.
Sören grinned and swatted at him. "No one would believe me if I told them how silly you are." Then his face gradually grew more sober and he picked up his laptop. "I really need to find something for Yeyette. She keeps dodging me when I offer to pay for anything and it's Christmas and I can't just leave her without a gift."
Anthony looked up thoughtfully. "She's always been this way?"
"More or less. We used to alternate buying treats at University- Candies or cake from our favourite bakery when we had the money. But things changed after she had to find a job the summer of our Freshman year. Her mother sued her... it's really complicated but imagine, your own mother suing you after she kicked you out. Yeyette was still trying to keep her dance scholarship back then while trying to do premed. It was already like two full-time jobs. So... maybe she should tell you if she wants to but she decided she didn't need three full-time jobs to stay in school and to try to fight her mother. Um... I know you might not but don't judge- She decided to be a sugar-baby for a while and it wasn't nice for her. But then her mother dropped the lawsuits and then she died... though Yeyette had to go to court to get her inheritance, which also cost her money, which she paid upfront and not from what she inherited. So she gets weird about gifts because they either come with strings or she has to earn them."
"Oh. Wow," Anthony's face registered his surprise. He scrubbed his face with his hand. "I... it makes a lot of sense now."
The bedroom door swung open and Eugène walked in daintily as if he hadn't just brute-forced himself into the room. He leapt up into bed with Anthony and Sören and purred as they made much of him, scratching him, and cooing at him that he was a fluffy, orange Kool-Aid man.
"Maybe you should get her an item of clothing," suggested Anthony. Eugène sat on him, kneading his paws on him, flashing Sören glimpses of Anthony's belly. "Say that you have to save her from being eaten by the Yule Cat, so she has to accept."
"Hmmmm, Jólakötturinn..." he thought. Maybe it would work but what would he get her? A scarf would be too little, he thought. Socks? Several pairs of socks? No, socks weren't the answer.
"Prrrrp!" Eugène interrupted his thoughts. Sören noticed that the cat wore a new collar with a little copper plaque riveted to it that read: 'My name is Eugène. If found, please return to Yeyette Arnaud, 42020 Old Town Road, Beauregard, Indiana, 47805.' This kickstarted his thought process. He chuckled as he typed a search into Google.
He found a site that he liked and then began scrolling through the options. Yes, this was good. Everything he wanted and needed for the gift was coming together.
"Nothing like appealing to family to do the peer pressure so Yeyette will accept," chuckled Sören, slightly mangling English in his glee.
"You're going to 'do' the peer pressure?"
"Já but it's a nice peer pressure. You'll see. Don't look, it's a surprise!" he clumsily covered the screen with his hand and though he looked sweet doing it, Anthony obeyed.
"Ah! I forgot the KISS dolls!" he gruffed after he submitted the order for Yeyette's Christmas.
He closed out the new tab and went back to the tab with the retro toys. He advanced to the shopping cart. Before he entered his shipping address and payment information, Sören noticed something interesting in a scroll of items at the bottom that other shoppers who had purchased the KISS dolls had also bought. One in particular caught his interest. He bounced in bed and clapped his hands.
"This is perfect! I must get it!"
Anthony raised an eyebrow. "May I see or it is a secret?"
"I can't keep this a secret from you. Go ahead. It's brilliant and I must buy one."
Anthony looked at the shopping cart and then shook his head, snorting.
"I don't know what to do with you."
"I can suggest a few things..."
-
On Christmas morning the entire family gathered downstairs in the living room to open their gifts. Nicholas had baked breakfast cake for the occasion; everyone was eating the delicious goodness as Ryu handed gifts to Hiro or Eugène and they ferried the gifts to the proper recipients. He found several packages all wrapped in the same holly leaf and berry paper with red, green, and white ribbon and the pets duly delivered these to everyone. Not a person was left out.
"These are from me," announced Sören, even though the gifts had tags on them stating this. "I need them to be opened in the right order. Yeyette first."
Yeyette looked at the slim parcel in her lap. Sören could tell she didn't know what to do but then she began to meticulously remove the wrapping as if she needed to save it for later.
"It's wrapping paper, honey, you can dig in," encouraged DeKalb.
"It's nice paper. I feel ungrateful ripping it up," she returned but followed his advice just the same.
Inside she found a black t-shirt of very soft material, sewn in a cut that would flatter her figure. She shook it out and then saw that there was screenprinting on the back in a clear, trendy script.
"I'm Yeyette" proclaimed the writing.
"I think that's a given," she snorted but smiled. "It is a very nice shirt and I'll definitely wear it."
"That's only part of it. Dara, Palcë, and Ryu should open theirs now."
Dara and Yeyette exchanged glances and then they both looked at Ryu who shrugged, smiling. Palcë lifted an eyebrow and almost forgot to frown. They opened their parcels; Sören couldn't help but notice that Palcë used the same caution with his gift as Yeyette had but, watching Ryu rip the paper off of his encouraged Palcë to be less neat. Inside of the parcels were black, men's cut t-shirts. Dara immediately turned his over and found his t-shirt also had been screen-printed. He read it and his face softened; he shook his head. Then he nudged Yeyette who also read it. Their cheeks pinkened.
He held up the shirt "If found, please return to Yeyette," everyone read and began to chuckle. Then Palcë held up his shirt and they read the same thing, which caused uproarious laughter. Ryu held his up after the laughter had died down "If found, please return to Yeyette, she's my other mom".
"Awwwwww," even DeKalb thought that was the cutest thing.
"Now me," announced Sören. He yanked the wrapping off of his parcel and then held up a shirt that read: "Hello, I'm Yeyette, I'm Sören."
Yeyette got up out of her seat, pretending she wanted to hug Sören but then she put a hand to his hair and touselled his mop of curls until they stood out every which way. THEN she hugged him.
"We're not done yet. Now Victor and Nicholas should open their gifts."
Nicholas gave Victor an apprehensive look as if he were too old for the nonsense of 'If found, return to...' t-shirts. Both men held up their shirts, Victor looking very amused and Nicholas looking a bit conflicted as if he wanted to look sour but couldn't.
Victor's shirt read: "As you know, I am Victor," in larger print and in smaller print beneath that "I will return myself to Yeyette, thank you."
Nicholas' shirt read: "As you know, I am Nicholas," on the first line and "You may return Hi Yeyette, I'm Sören to me," beneath it.
Laughter cascaded through the room again.
"Now Maglor, Anthony, and DeKalb," Sören directed.
Maglor opened his present and rolled his eyes. His shirt read "Hi! I'm.... Hells!"
DeKalb shook his head and held up his shirt. It read "Daddy Yankee" on the front but on back '(return to yeyette, okay?)' had been printed.
Anthony laughed heartily at this but then he looked at his own and stopped his mirth for a moment.
"I can't believe you!" he melodramatically accused Sören, holding the shirt up for the others to read, the front of which read "Posh Spice" and the back read "pls return to Sören. I'm expensive."
Sören was satisfied. The t-shirts were a hit and he didn't have to talk Yeyette into accepting hers. Ryu resumed passing gifts to Hiro and Eugène for delivery. People began opening other parcels and showing the contents around.
Suddenly, a strangled noise of exasperation escaped Dara and all eyes were on him.
"Oh, this is from Santa now, is it?" the bird-song singing note heavy in his voice, though everyone could tell he tried to keep his accent neutral. He failed as always.
"What is it?" queried Victor.
Dara held up the brightly-printed box. On the front was a picture of an anthropomorphic potato wearing a hat and a moustache with big, googly eyes, holding a cane in one bendy hand.
"It's Mister Fecking Potato-Head," he growled.
"Yes! And he has a bucket of parts to go with him too!" enthused Sören.
"So I see," huffed the younger man. "Hiro, be a good lad and fetch Sören his stocking. Such a gift demands a return gift."
Hiro trotted to the mantel and grabbed the stocking embroidered with Sören's name and trotted over to Sören with it. Sören reached in and found a small pouch full of candy hand-wrapped in colorful paper. There was a card attached to the pouch that he assumed was the gift tag. He opened a candy and sniffed it. He smelled peanut butter. He took a bite and then saw Dara watching him intently.
"Thank you, it's good."
"I bet," Dara smiled to himself.
Sören popped the other bit of candy in his mouth and read the card as he chewed.
"Potato Candy- Contains Real Potatoes!" read the tag, along with a recipe for said candy.
Sören let out a whoop of laughter. He couldn't believe the Great Potato War had lasted this long.
"I'll get revenge. Still, thank you, nephew."
"I'll be waiting, Uncle."
Everyone settled back and opened the rest of their gifts, a murmur of thanks or surprise here and there. Outside, snow began to fall in huge puffs as big as rabbits' tails. Sören looked around him, feeling very content. Having a family to enjoy Christmas with was the best gift of all.