by Detergent
DeKalb sat on the wooden floor of the front porch. There was a sheet of something covering part of the boards and on top of that lay several large vegetables, possibly squash, Palcë couldn't tell. Nicholas had lit the fire bowl against the chill of the evening. The rest group sat on the porch swing or in chairs on the porch with shopping bags full of different types of candy from the local Kroger, filling goodie bags with an assortment of chocolate bars and other types of sweets to pass out on the upcoming holiday. Palcë sat beside DeKalb on a large cushion. DeKalb was drawing on one of the vegetables in black, a ghastly, spooky face. Between him and Anthony was a collection of knives and spoons.
"I can't believe you talked me into doing this," groused Yeyette, coming out of the house with a paper bag full of freshly-made caramel corn.
"C'mon honey, Halloween is fun," protested DeKalb, grinning up from the floor.
"Yeah, just what I want, strangers coming to the house, demanding candy. Some of them don't even say thank-you or they look at you like you're the stingiest asshole ever for giving them only one full-size candy bar."
"That happened once..." protested DeKalb. "And we're going to make it fun for us too this year- We're going all out and you have a great costume."
She was somewhat mollified by that statement. She did like the costume she had put together.
"What is this holiday?" Palcë asked. The caramel corn smelled delicious. It was a celebration of what... robbery?
"It's Halloween. You dress up in a costume so no one knows who you are and then you go around town. You knock on people's doors and they give you candy. You say 'Trick or treat,' because sometimes people pull pranks on houses where they don't give out candy."
"Pranks?"
"Oh, yanno. Toilet paper their trees. Fork their yard, mostly it's teens being shits who do that."
"Oh yeah, harmless pranks... banana up the tailpipe, sugar in the gas tank..." Yeyette said sarcastically, walking up to Palcë and filling his palms full of caramel corn. He tried it. It tasted crisp, sweet, and delicious, although it stuck to his teeth.
"Like I said, it's usually teens being shits and it doesn't happen that often. And it's usually nothing that can't be cleaned up quick anyway," DeKalb brushed off the rowdy behaviour.
"So... this holiday consists of putting on a disguise and accosting people for candy?" Palcë was confused.
"No? You don't accost people. The costumes make it more fun."
"But... you put on a disguise, right? The whole point of it is not to be recognised as you work your neighbours over for sweets. And if they don't surrender enough candy, you vandalize their property, right?"
"You don't 'work them over,' you go to their houses and they guess who you are. Then they give you candy."
"Unless they're an asshole, then they give you a toothbrush or like six pennies for UNICEF," added Yeyette.
"Pennies?"
"Coin. In today's terms, they give you zero money," she said. She threw a miniature candy bar at Sören who was making faces at her from behind Anthony.
"They pay you to go away?"
"Usually with candy," provided Ryu, who was tying the treat bags shut with black and orange plastic ribbon.
"And god forbid if the candy isn't any good, people might wind up with soap on their windows," elaborated Dara, who was trying to count boxcars as a freight train passed in the distance.
"So you show up at houses in disguise to accost people for candy and they bribe you to go away and leave their property unmolested?"
"Kind of," said Yeyette.
"You're not help-ing," sang DeKalb.
"Okay, but Sören and Nicholas are readying disguises... er costumes. Yeyette has a costume. Costumes are definitely part of it," Palcë reasoned out.
"Ja, we make costumes," Sören had begun to pilfer the caramel corn and walked around Palcë humming. "I see you've already finished your fancy dress," he gestured at Palcë's armour and swords; he was not yet wearing normal, reasonable clothes. "Look at you, that is some costume." He continued to munch. "Who are you supposed to be?"
"I'm Palcë..."
"Wait, don't tell me. You're a big, strong, monster-slaying man. Mmmm, you look like Henry Cavill, all decked out in that armour. Hubba Hubba," his Icelandic accent tripped over the words and it sounded like he was saying hooba hooba. "You're the Witcher, right?"
"Hooba hooba?" Dara stopped counting boxcars.
"It's an American thing, right? You wouldn't understand possibly, you're Irish. I'm an honorary American."
Dara looked at him as if he'd been smoking crack. "We say hubba hubba... and I'm NOT Irish," he added, although his accent said otherwise.
"Heaven forfend if he's the Witcher, we'll have to lock him up for his own safety," said Anthony as he began scooping out the insides of one of the vegetables and emptying the seeds and stringy pulp on the sheet on the floor.
Palcë put his hand on his dagger, "You'd better rethink that," he glowered.
"It's just a figure of speech, no one is going to try to take you captive again," Yeyette was up out of her seat with a hand on his arm, soothing him. He frowned and nodded. She went back to her chair.
"Well, we are talking about accosting your neighbours for candy," Sören reasoned. He went to go bother Nicholas who sat on the swing with boxes of marshmallow Peeps shaped like pumpkins and ghosts, tutting quietly as he placed one in each goodie bag. He disapproved of mass-produced candy in general and Peeps in particular.
"Goddamit, you don't accost your neighbours for candy. They leave their lights on so you know they want you to stop there and then you ring their doorbell. It's voluntary." DeKalb was getting exasperated at the deliberate misdirection from everyone and the honest misunderstanding of American culture even though it also secretly tickled him.
Sören walked up to Nicholas, very obviously feigning as if he were innocent. Then he reached out and snatched a ghost Peep from the elder man's collection. Nicholas rolled his eyes. "You shan't eat those stale marshmallow abominations, they are wretched."
"Mmmm, shall. Am..." He turned and wiggled his blue-jeaned bottom at him. Nicholas looked down his nose at him. "I shan't dignify your antics with the spanking you deserve."
"And the vegetable, what is it for?" asked Palcë. "You're drawing on it so I'm assuming we're not about to eat it."
"It's for decoration," answered DeKalb. "We hollow it out and put a candle inside and light it at night."
"Wellll, if you really want to be pedantic about it," began Anthony, "In the past in Ireland, at least, they carved turnips into lighted talismans to frighten away evil spirits. In America, they carved pumpkins once the British colonists came across the Atlantic."
They saw a car turn down their street. As it approached, they saw it was Victor, finally home from giving his General Chemistry lecture. He pulled into the garage and soon, he joined them on the porch.
"Ah, getting ready for Halloween, I see," he loosened his old-fashioned cravat. Ryu poured him a cup of apple cider and Hiro wagged up to him, pushing his enormous head under the professor's empty hand.
"Can't wait, can you?" grinned DeKalb, eager for another supporter of the holiday.
"I enjoy making a costume, yes. And, of course, there is nothing I like better than appeasing a horde of would-be vandals with sweets," he answered before lifting the cup to his lips and taking a drink of cider. He winked at Yeyette who snorted. Palcë looked accusingly at DeKalb.
"Fine, I give up. We're going to celebrate the holiday of frightening away evil spirits with vegetables and bribing kids to leave us alone with candy," he huffed but he was smiling. He selected a carving knife from the spread on the floor and began to cut his design into the pumpkin.
"It will take more than a few talismans to stop Sauron," sighed Sören.
"Yes. But now we have hope. We're here in this godforsaken place but we're finally together, said Maglor, who had remained silent during the entire exchange.
His serious tone was broken by Hiro, who had found a popcorn ball and had managed to get it stuck to his snout. He shook his head and the ball broke loose. He caught it in mid-air and devoured it in one crunching bite.