Grand Theft Bvssy: Chapter 3

The bath in the legate's estate was not nearly as luxurious as a jacuzzi but it would have to do. Larry relaxed with a glass of wine, and began to contemplate how he would escape from this place, and take a few souvenirs for his trouble. Perhaps he could offer sexual favors to one of the guards...

...Suddenly he felt someone staring at him, and he opened his eyes to look into a pair of intense, penetrating light grey eyes. Shockingly silver-white hair. A chiseled face that was scowling at him.

A chill went down Larry's spine as he recognized who was staring at him. This was Palcë, a Quendi, who had been one of his father's servants and had been imprisoned for insubordination. Except now he was encountering Palcë in ancient Rome, many centuries before the time of imprisonment; Palcë appeared to be working as a guard for this legate, passing himself off as human. And yet, the way Palcë was looking at him suggested familiarity of some kind.

The Babel fish squirmed in Larry's head as Palcë approached the bath. "Thou," Palcë snarled. "Thou arteth one of Sauron's brood..."

Larry didn't get a chance to answer. Palcë grabbed him and pulled him out of the bath, then punched him in the face, knocking him to the hard stone floor. Palcë kicked Larry once he was down, stomped on his balls, and dropped on top of him, pummeling Larry again and again with his fists.

Larry realized Palcë must have recognized him by the eyes - he didn't bother to glamour himself when he used the time machine to get to Rome, not thinking he would need to.

The time machine. The hourglass had, of course, been confiscated from him when he was brought to the legate's household and stripped. If he could find the time machine he could just leap back to the future, without needing an escape plan. "If thee helpest me, I canst maketh thou very very rich," Larry lied, trying to shield himself from the blows.

That just made Palcë angrier. "Thou thinkst I can beeth bribedest?" Palcë began to choke him.

When Larry thought it was all over for him, Cocina appeared, watching the fight, and then she put her fingers in her mouth and whistled. Palcë backed off.

"Jealouseth, art we?" Cocina asked him.

Palcë lowered his eyes and gave a small nod.

Cocina sighed. "I liketh this slave, but I likest thee more. I canst take thee as my lover, but thou wilt not kill Bussius." Cocina walked towards them and stooped to touch Larry's face. "Thou pooreth dear. How mayest I repayeth thee for such lawless behavioreth?"

Larry didn't hesitate. "The hourglass I cameth with. Pleaseth, let me hath it." He played up her sympathies. "It beeth all I hast of mine familieth..."

And so the hourglass was in Larry's hands within a few moments. One good turn deserved another, and Larry snatched the coin purse from Palcë's belt. But he wasn't fast enough - just before he could jump out of Rome and into his timeline, Palcë stabbed Larry in the back, and when Larry reached the lawn of the safe house in Indiana where he and Juniper were staying, he was dead on arrival.

Mairon tutted as he walked over to his dead son. "Not again," he muttered.

"Worthless," Morgoth scoffed.

Mairon slapped Larry across the face and a few seconds later, Larry's eyes blinked open and he grunted in pain. Mairon spat in his face. Then he yanked the coin purse out of Larry's hand. "I could have made you suffer more with the resurrection, but I will accept this," Mairon said, opening the leather coin purse and smiling at the ancient Roman coin now in his possession. "Very nice. This will fetch a good sum to keep growing my empire." Mairon threw his head back and laughed.

"Fathereth," Larry pleaded.

"SILENCE, FOOL!"

But the coins were not all Larry had given his father. Back in Rome, as the timeline marched on, Cocina gave birth to the child Larry had sired - a healthy baby girl with reddish blonde hair. It was not a male heir, like she had hoped for, and she gave the daughter a derogatory name in her disgust. "Tocina," she snapped.

Tocina Salo was the great-ancestress of Juniper Roberts, Larry's lover, Sauron's daughter and faithful servant.

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