art by DumpsterPhoenix and SemperViridis, June 2022
June 2022
Yeyette had the day off for her birthday, Sunday June nineteenth. She was going out to dinner with her partners and getting pampered by them later in the evening, but since she'd been best friends with Sören since their college days when they'd been roommates at Harvard, Sören wanted to do something special for her birthday, and thus she'd agreed to a day trip.
However, Sören had been cryptic about where they were going and what they were doing, and Yeyette didn't care much for surprises. As she got in the passenger seat of the car, she said, "Are you going to tell me where we're going?"
"Gary, Indiana, to see Michael Jackson's house." Sören grabbed his crotch. "HEE-HEE! Shamon!"
Yeyette eyerolled and facepalmed. She knew Sören wasn't serious - not even Sören, with his questionable taste, would decide a trip to Gary was a great birthday present.
"OK, that's not actually where," Sören said. "Remember how we used to watch Joy Of Painting on the local PBS station on the weekends?"
"And Bob Ross got you into painting," Yeyette said.
"Jæja." Sören nodded. "We're going to Muncie, Indiana to see the Bob Ross Experience."
Yeyette grabbed him and gave him a hug. Her eyes misted, feeling sentimental about the days when they watched Joy of Painting together, both of them finding peace in Bob Ross's smooth voice and gentle demeanor, the gorgeous landscapes he brought to life. Both of them had come from abusive families and Bob Ross was a reminder that there were good people in the world.
"I've been planning to take you since 2020, but COVID," Sören went on, then he added, "Happy little germs."
Yeyette snickered. "Happy little lockdowns."
"Happy little hospital chaos. Anyway, I take it the plan is satisfactory?"
"Yes," Yeyette said with a smile.
Sören made fingerguns and started the car.
It was approximately a three-hour drive one-way from Beauregard, just outside of Terre Haute, to Muncie. They drove past corn for miles and miles, blasting filthy reggaeton music. They took a rest stop at the halfway point to visit a convenience store restroom that wasn't particularly hygienic, and Sören got an electric blue frozen slushie drink that he slurped at for the rest of the drive.
The Bob Ross Experience was the historic home in Muncie where The Joy Of Painting was filmed, featuring Bob Ross's original paintings. Sören got choked up as he saw the paintings that had inspired him to start working with oils and making his own landscapes based on his home country of Iceland, with touches of magical realism like nature spirits and little portals. They took time admiring Bob Ross's "happy little trees", each painting its own little world of color and life, a celebration of the beauty of nature.
They also visited The Orchard Shop at Minnetrista for merchandise - kitschy and touristy though it was, they both succumbed to the lure of Bob Ross - and they hit the farmer's market for some fresh produce to take home, stuff they weren't already growing at the farm.
"We should come back in the fall when the leaves are turning and there's cider," Sören said.
Though Yeyette was going to a fancy restaurant with her partners that evening, they still stopped at a bar-and-grill for a light lunch. Or in Sören's case, "light" was a big pork tenderloin sandwich.
He was about to burn it off - they went to the Minnetrista Nature Area, a half-mile loop trail, so they could see the "happy little trees" of Bob Ross's town. It was good the trail was short, because of Yeyette's allergies. Sören patted her shoulder. "I appreciate you taking the walk with me, even though the happy little trees are, ah... making happy little tree bukkake."
Yeyette lost it, having to stop for a moment because she was laughing too hard. "Goddammit, Sören."
There were also wildflowers in bloom, and they spotted a few squirrels and even a chipmunk. The serenity of the park was like being inside a Bob Ross painting, the perfect way to end the day in Muncie.
Even though it was a lovely summer day, sunny and not too warm, the park was mostly empty, almost as if there was some sort of magical enchantment over it to keep other people away - which was a relief to Yeyette, she didn't want to deal with crowds on her day off, especially her birthday. Such was the quiet of them alone with nature that Yeyette was a little startled when they approached a bench and there was someone sitting on it.
As they came closer, it wasn't just someone. It was Bob Ross himself.
Yeyette paused, blinking. She pinched herself to make sure she wasn't dreaming, then she turned to Sören to make sure she wasn't hallucinating, that Sören was seeing it too. Sören's eyes were like saucers and his mouth was open. He started stammering. "Ah. Er. I. Uh."
"Oh, hello there, friends," Bob said.
"Ah." Sören took a step back, then he caught himself and took a step forward. He squared his shoulders. "That's a really... realistic Bob Ross cosplay you've got going."
Bob chuckled. "It's not a costume... Fëanáro."
It was one thing to see a man who looked exactly like Bob Ross sitting on a park bench in Muncie. It was another thing for a man who looked exactly like Bob Ross to know Sören was Fëanor reincarnated. Sören was so taken aback he let out a "meep", then clapped his hand over his mouth, self-conscious. Yeyette would have laughed if she wasn't so stunned.
Stunned and concerned, hoping this wasn't one of their enemies in disguise. "Who are you, really?" Yeyette asked him, preparing for a fight.
"Bob Ross."
"No. Really."
"Bob Ross," the man insisted. "Look... I've traveled Arda for a long, long time. For awhile, I was in disguise as Bob Ross." Bob scratched his aged-copper perm with a liver-spotted hand. "But eventually, I had to move on. You know how it is for us immortals. I faked my death, even though it was sad and I hated leaving that life behind. At least I gave other people happiness while I could."
"So you were Bob Ross, but you're also someone else." Yeyette put her hands on her hips.
Bob nodded. "Professor Tolkien knew me as Tom Bombadil." He looked around at the trees. "Once in awhile I come back here to good old Muncie, to see the happy little trees and the happy little squirrels. To come home again, if only for a day or so. Does my heart good." He chuckled. "And I see I came back at just the right time to meet two of Finwë's children. What a coincidence that is."
"You act like you know us, but I don't remember ever meeting you, then," Sören said.
"No, but I know Macalaurë," Bob said. "You can tell him I said hello."
"If my brain doesn't explode on the drive home," Sören said. "I still can't believe it."
"Really is some coincidence." Yeyette's head was spinning too.
"Quite a coincidence. Actually... it feels like we were meant to meet, finally. I think I'm supposed to give you something." Bob reached into his pocket, and held out his hand. Sören and Yeyette came closer to see what was being offered. It was a single acorn. "Your happy little tree needs a friend."
Now Yeyette felt ready to fall over. She thought of the "pineapple pine" tree from Victor's alchemy shenanigans, glowing silver at night. She took the acorn from Bob Ross hesitantly, and it seemed to pulse in her hand.
"That's right," Bob said with a smile as warm as the sun. "You've got a way with trees, Náriel. You love green and growing things, and they love you right back. I'm sure this little guy will do just fine in your care."
Before Yeyette could ask what the acorn really was, and why he was giving it to her, Bob stood up, put on a boonie hat over his puff of hair, and waved, grinning, before he began to walk off, whistling the theme to The Joy Of Painting all the way. A squirrel followed like it belonged to him.
Sören and Yeyette lingered until Bob faded from sight, and then a few moments longer, stunned.
"What the fuck," Yeyette said.
Sören smirked and shook his head. "What the happy little fuck."