It had been five days since Maedhros's suicide attempt. He'd been placed under round-the-clock watch, and was given herbs to keep him calm. Maglor and the boys were allowed to visit him - though Maedhros ignored him the first three of those days, angry that Maglor saved his life. Maglor still came anyway, to play music and sing, to try to soothe his brother, and it seemed to help - by the fifth day the dosage of the herbs was reduced, and while Maedhros was still under supervision he was allowed to participate in normal activities such as exercise, with his companions observing from a distance.
For those first fraught five days, Finarfin gave Maglor space. But finally, on the fifth day, after Maglor got done with performing for Maedhros in the garden - and Maedhros finally gave him a hug - Finarfin approached.
Maglor walked back to his own bedchamber to return the harp, with Finarfin walking alongside him in silence. Once the harp was back in its place, Finarfin and Maglor stood there for a moment, staring at each other - Maglor's heart beat faster, the pit of his stomach rising, knowing the time had come to clear the air... and there was quite a lot of dust that would get kicked up. Though Finarfin tried to keep his expression neutral, Maglor could see the pain in his uncle's grey eyes, and he looked off to the side, cheeks burning with shame - he'd never meant to hurt Finarfin.
"We need to talk," Finarfin said quietly.
"I know," Maglor snapped - then he cleared his throat, face hotter with annoyance at himself for his sharp response. "I know," he said more softly.
Finarfin looked around - Maglor knew he was checking to see how private things were - and then he said, "Take a stroll with me."
Though Maglor presumed Finarfin's bedchamber was still warded for soundproofing, Finarfin seemed to understand taking Maglor to the place where they'd shared many nights of passion was perhaps not the best idea... so they left the palace grounds, taking a hike out to the beach, the part that was rockier, where the coastal forest began. Finarfin sat on one of the rocks, and there was space for Maglor to sit beside him. Hesitantly, Maglor sat down, and they watched the waves. It had been raining earlier that day and the sky was still grey, but it was getting closer to sunset and the air had that golden haze, making sparkles of silver-gold on the sea. It was an echo of the Mingling, and a bittersweet reminder of all that had been lost when the Trees were destroyed.
There was another long, painful silence, and at last Finarfin spoke, not looking at Maglor, still looking out at the ocean. "I want to know why. You said in your note that I would know why you needed space after everything, but I would rather hear it from you and not just assume."
Maglor took a deep breath. "When you told me the truth about you and my father, it... was difficult."
"Ai. It's why I waited so long. I knew you were jealous of my 'late lover' and I knew it would be worse to hear it had been your own father, who you were so fiercely loyal to -"
"It's not that," Maglor said, once again annoyed with himself for the sharp edge in his voice - and then he did feel a twinge of guilt, feeling like he had been disloyal in his reaction. His father had needed comfort, he had deserved a respite from the hell that was life with Nerdanel, and Maglor didn't want to be jealous of that, and it did indeed seem like his assumption that Finarfin was using him as a replacement, was a form of jealousy. Maglor sighed and went on. "All right, it was... sort of that. It's complicated."
"Everything is complicated with this family, Káno. It always has been."
Maglor gave a wry smile. "You keep telling me how much I remind you of Fëanor. When I looked in the mirror the morning I left, I could see the resemblance more clearly than ever. And it made me feel like you..." As Maglor's heart broke all over again, his voice broke with it. "It made me feel like you're using me as a substitute, that when we make love, you pretend it's him -"
"Kanafinwë, no."
Maglor sniffled, trying to hold back the tears, trying to hold onto the last shred of his pride. "You don't have to lie to me, Ara. You don't have to be nice to me out of pity -"
"You. Will. Stop."
The tears came then - Maglor's shock over the ferocity in the usually-calm Finarfin's voice yanked that last bit of pride away. Maglor sat there, sobbing, and Finarfin let him cry for a moment before he pulled Maglor against him, put Maglor's head on his shoulder and began to pet him. "Now you listen to me, Kanafinwë."
Finarfin continued to pet him for another long moment, gathering his thoughts, and finally he took Maglor's chin in his hand and turned Maglor's face to him, to look him in the eye. "I loved your father very, very much. I still do. I always will. But I also love you. Do I love you for the ways you remind me of him? Yes, of course. But you are also your own person, and I love you in the ways that you are yourself."
Maglor wanted so very much to believe him. He wept afresh, wanting it to be true... afraid to let himself trust those words just yet.
Finarfin resumed stroking Maglor's hair. "Indis and Míriel were best friends. They were a bit more than friends, if you get what I mean, and the Valar made them... leave that behind... when your grandfather led the Noldor to Valinor, to come under the Laws. But they never stopped loving each other, even if they no longer expressed it with their bodies, and it was Míriel's wish that Indis look after Finwë and Fëanor. My mother told me this when she first discovered my relationship with Fëanor, and she told me to be careful. The reason why I am telling you, now, is so you understand there is historical precedent here - as best friends, Indis and Míriel had a great deal in common. They were very much alike. But Finwë also loved them for the ways they were different. It is like the way one can love spring but also love summer... the way one can love sunrise and also love sunset. Similar, but not the same. Each beautiful in its own way."
Maglor wept harder, touched by those words - and by the legacy of love that had carried across the generations.
"It is also something your brother understands. He was lovers not just with Fingon, but with Ñolofinwë. Ñolo and I have different hair, as you know -" Finarfin smiled at the use of Fingolfin's oft-repeated verbal tic. "And we are different in some other regards, as you know. And yet, Ñolo and I are more alike than either of us are alike with Feanor... and I don't think your brother is using me as a substitute for Ñolo, nor do I think your brother is using you as a substitute for Fingon."
Maglor sat there stunned - his brother had kept the relationship with Fingolfin secret all this time, even long after Fingolfin was dead. He wanted to be angry for that secret, but then he realized why Maedhros might have kept it. "...Were all three of them..."
"Yes," Finarfin said. "Ñolo never touched him as a child, but one day he walked in on Fingon and your brother, and..." Finarfin's voice trailed off.
Maglor's jaw dropped... and then his tears became laughter. Finarfin was very nonchalant about it, enough that Maglor felt it was time to confess the other half of what made him run away. "When you told me you and Fëanor were lovers, it aroused me. It made me wish that I had known, then... that I had..." Maglor gave a shuddery sigh, his cock stiffening as the delicious forbidden fantasies came rushing to the forefront of his mind, of Fëanor and Finarfin making passionate love... what it would have been like to join them.
Finarfin smiled. "I had worshiped Fëanor as long as I could remember. I thought of him as the Flame Imperishable made flesh. And you, Kanafinwë, are like the Song, made flesh, sparked from his Flame into a new, wondrous creation. The two of you are not the same, but two halves of a greater whole. Fëanor was the great love of my life... and so are you. And my deepest wish is to have him once again... and have both of you." Finarfin kissed Maglor's brow, then his voice lowered to a husky whisper. "Feanor, Ñolo and I would have ruled together as kings side by side in Middle-Earth... kings and husbands, lovers... and I had told Fëanor I wanted to take you as my consort when we'd settled in Middle-Earth. That I was going to make you put on a show for me and fuck each other, like the thirsty sluts you are."
Maglor heard himself moan as his cock leapt at that.
"I see somebody likes that idea." Finarfin reached down to gently palm the hard bulge in Maglor's breeches. "You love being my slut, don't you?"
"Yes." Maglor moaned again, cock pulsing beneath Finarfin rubbing through the fabric.
"But you were going to run away. You were going to leave me." Finarfin gave him a stern look. "That doesn't seem like you want it enough to be my slut..."
"Please," Maglor begged, going out of his mind with lust. It had been almost a week since they'd fucked, and it might as well have been years, Maglor's body pent-up, aching for Finarfin. "Please, hántya."
"Oh, I don't know," Finarfin said in a sing-song voice, rolling his eyes. "You tried to run away and it really hurt my feelings. I'm going to need a lot of convincing you still want to be my slut."
Maglor stood up, pulled Finarfin up with him, and kissed him passionately. Then he began to undress, right there on the beach - they were alone. Finarfin watched him undress, still clothed, with a smug little smile on his face. Maglor let out a growl of frustration and started undressing Finarfin, who kissed him back, laughing, as his hands ran over Maglor's naked body.
When they were both nude, their clothes spilled in the white sand, Maglor looked down at Finarfin's hard cock, pressed against his own. "I love you," Maglor said, taking Finarfin's hands. "I'm sorry I left. I felt like you didn't really want me, like you pitied me -"
"And it's understandable you felt that way, after Nerdanel throwing her fit," Finarfin said, nodding. "But I don't pity you, Macalaurë." The use of his mother-name was deliberate, with the talk of Nerdanel, and tears stung Maglor's eyes again. "Just the opposite. I would be proud to take you as my consort, here and now, were it not for the Laws. I want to shout it from the palace rooftop, I want to tell the world how much I love you, and I can't. But please, please don't ever think you're an inferior substitute." Finarfin reached down in the sand and fished out something from his robe - the two-stranded collar necklace Maglor had left behind, with the key attached to the longer strand. He put it around Maglor's neck once more. "I gave you this, which used to belong to your father, not because you're a substitute - I could hire another artisan to make a new one, but no other craftsmanship would be worthy of my beloved. And Fëanor would have wanted you to have this. It's a piece of him."
Maglor blinked back tears, deeply touched by the gesture.
"And please, don't ever run from me again. Talk to me first. I suppose that it wasn't all bad - you found Nelyafinwë and saved his life - but we could have found him together, if you'd come to me." Finarfin's eyes were too bright, and his voice shook, as he squeezed Maglor's hands.
"I'm sorry," Maglor said, and lowered his head, hurting for Finarfin.
Finarfin smirked. "Not as sorry as you're going to be."
Maglor smirked back. "Promises, promises."
Finarfin smacked Maglor's ass, and Maglor's cock leapt in response, throbbing, his hole twitching. Before he could push Finarfin down in the sand and rut against him, Finarfin took Maglor by the hand and led him out to the waves, where the sun was setting, and made the sea look like liquid fire. "Let's wash away the tears and start over again, Kanafinwë."
They waded into the water together, hand-in-hand. They stood in the ocean up to their waists, the tides pushing and pulling, the sea sparkling in the dramatic stormy violet-copper sunset. They held each other close, and moved in for a kiss... but before their lips met they lingered, breathing each other's breath.
They kissed deeply, fiercely, hungrily, kissing for a long time, kissing until they were breathless. They pulled apart to catch their breath and then their tongues licked, teasing, before their mouths crushed together again, tongues inside each other's mouths, a hint of what else they could do with those tongues... how else they could be inside each other.
Finarfin began to kiss and lick down Maglor's neck, nibbling here and there, making Maglor groan. Maglor moaned louder as he felt Finarfin's cock pulsating against his, and his own throbbed.
"I love you, my own," Finarfin said.
"I love you." Maglor looked into Finarfin's eyes and touched his face.
"Don't ever leave me again," Finarfin said, his eyes too bright once more. "When I found your note, it was like my world came crashing down around me -"
Maglor kissed him hard, his own tears silently spilling down his cheeks. He could feel that abandonment across their bond - grief at losing his kin, his love, all over again, ripping open old wounds as well as new ones. Maglor put a hand on Finarfin's heart; his free hand dipped into the ocean, and rose back, wet with salt water, to wipe Finarfin's tears, then his own. "We may not be married," Maglor said softly, "but I promise you, we are still mated for life."
"Good boy." Finarfin kissed the tip of Maglor's nose.
"So..." Maglor decided to distract Finarfin from his pain, with a bit of playfulness. "I think I deserve to be punished."
"You're damn right." Finarfin grinned. He slapped Maglor's ass. "Let's go home."
After the evening meal, Maglor took the secret passages to the dungeon, where Finarfin was waiting. The moment Maglor stepped in, Finarfin commanded, "Kneel."
Maglor obeyed, getting on his knees. Finarfin came over with the diamond-and-pearl leash and clipped it through Maglor's collar. Then he began to pull the leash, making Maglor crawl across the dungeon. Maglor was already hard and he stiffened even more, cock pulsing, mouth watering at being made to crawl like this, Finarfin so deliciously dominant.
Finarfin roughly bent Maglor over the spanking bench. He started by giving Maglor twenty spankings, ten on each ass cheek, slapping his ass harder and harder, while Maglor desperately rubbed himself against the bench, panting, letting out broken little cries as the sweet sting seared his flesh, shooting through his entire body.
Then Finarfin brought out the riding crop. He put it to Maglor's lips and Maglor obediently, reverently kissed it. Finarfin traced Maglor's lips with the crop, and then the crop sensuously brushed down Maglor's sensitive spine, making Maglor shiver and moan. "Twenty more lashes," Finarfin said.
"Yes, please."
The crop cracked down on Maglor's left ass cheek, then his right. Back and forth, back and forth, stinging his sore ass harder and harder, bringing tears to Maglor's eyes - but he didn't want Finarfin to stop. Pain and pleasure became one, going deeper and deeper into that space of surrender as he took his punishment for leaving... let Finarfin mark and claim him once more. "Slut," Finarfin growled. "You're my slut, and you'll never leave me again."
"No, hántya." Maglor felt now that he would rather die than be without the man he'd loved all his life... be without their wicked games, the way they were somehow at their most tender and gentle with each other when they were fierce and rough this way, building unbreakable bonds of trust. "I love you, hántya..."
"And you love this." Finarfin brought down the crop even harder, and Maglor cried out. "You're such a slut for this."
"Yes, hántya, yes..." Maglor thrust his ass out at Finarfin. "More..."
Finarfin hit Maglor's ass with the crop again. "Such a beautiful arse you have. Even more beautiful when it's all red like this." He rubbed Maglor's ass before the crop came down once more, and Maglor squeaked at the sensation of the sensual caress followed by the stinging blow.
When all twenty lashes had been delivered, Maglor felt like he was floating, silent tears rolling down his cheeks, feeling himself smiling so hard his face hurt. His sore ass felt like redemption for the pain he'd caused Finarfin for running away... and it felt like rebirth, like a new movement of the song of their love was playing after having cleared the air, their love stronger for having been put to the test.
And yet, Finarfin wasn't done.
Finarfin got out the nine-tails flogger. Maglor kissed it, and then Finarfin said, "Ten strikes."
"Only" ten strikes after having been spanked and hit with the crop, was still almost too much. Maglor screamed as the flogger thudded his ass, feeling it thump into the bone like a hard fall... intensifying the sting from the crop and Finarfin's hand. Again and again Finarfin struck him, and Maglor's cock hardened to the point of agony, dripping with pre-spend, Maglor gasping for breath, going out of his mind with the need to be fucked, in heat for it. He needed Finarfin to possess him, control him, own him, body and soul.
And still, Finarfin wasn't done.
Finarfin had canes alongside the whips, but until now, Finarfin had never used one of the canes on him. Now Finarfin brought over a thin wooden cane. Maglor was reminded of when he was a boy and he and Maedhros play-fought with branches, and how much the branch had hurt. This was bigger and looked nastier.
Maglor licked his lips and swallowed hard, preparing himself.
"Three strikes," Finarfin said. "Yes?"
"Yes."
Finarfin took a few deep breaths, and then he counted, "One."
It was pain like Maglor had never experienced before. Not even the whip had hurt like this. The cane stung and slashed and Maglor shrieked, his ass throbbing... feeling a trickle of blood down his thighs.
Finarfin let Maglor catch his breath and then he said, "Two."
Maglor screamed again as the cane struck his aching ass. Once again he felt another trickle of blood, his flesh pulsing painfully.
"Do you need me to stop?" Finarfin asked.
"Don't stop."
Finarfin waited, then he called out, "Three."
The cane came down one more time and for a moment the world seemed to disappear. Maglor came back to himself with a gasp, then the throbbing pain took his breath away and it was all that existed.
Each aching pulse felt like his entire body was a musical instrument, playing. This was his song of songs. It was his offering to the man he worshiped, more worthy than the Valar or Eru himself.
Maglor collapsed on the floor, shaking. He was in pain like never before... and he felt radiant. In the darkness of their violent love, he had found the purest light.
After awhile Finarfin pulled Maglor up from the floor, and led Maglor over to the diagonal cross. Maglor could barely stand up, still trembling, his entire body aching... but he let Finarfin shackle him. Maglor was facing him, and for a moment they looked into each other's eyes and Finarfin stroked Maglor's face.
Finarfin put nipple clamps on Maglor's pierced nipples, pinching and squeezing them, and Maglor screamed - even though his nipples and ass weren't connected it somehow intensified the pain searing his ass. It also made his cock even harder, and Maglor whimpered, urgent for release. Finarfin smirked at the hard cock pulsing in his hand, and then he took the riding crop with his other hand and slapped Maglor's cock with it.
Maglor almost climaxed from the sharp mix of pleasure and pain. "Hántya!"
"You naughty slut, running away from me." Finarfin slapped Maglor's cock with the riding crop again. "I hope you're learning your lesson, brat."
"Yes, hántya, yes..." Maglor bit his lip and whined, shuddering, more pre-spend flowing down his cock. It stung so much, and yet the intensity felt incredible... the fierce look in Finarfin's eyes made him crave this, wanting to feel Finarfin's power.
Finarfin took the clamps off Maglor's nipples - which made them throb and ache all over again - and then the crop slapped one long, thick nipple, then the other. Back and forth, Finarfin smacked the crop against Maglor's swollen nipples, until Maglor's knees buckled and he felt himself sliding down a little, squatting, held up by the shackles.
Finarfin put down the crop, unshackled him, and Maglor fell into his arms. Finarfin held him, petting his hair, making soothing noises.
Finarfin carried him back to the bedchamber. Maglor lay on the bed in a haze, and murmured with pleasure as Finarfin began applying salve to his ass. Finarfin took a hand mirror to show Maglor the welts and broken skin, and Maglor smiled at it, pleased with Finarfin's handiwork. But what he loved even more was Finarfin getting back to work and oh so tenderly rubbing salve in slow circles. "That's a good boy," Finarfin purred. "That's my good, sweet boy. You're safe with me. Nerdanel will never come near you again. I'll never let her hurt you again. You're mine. My good, precious boy."
Maglor almost wept, needing to hear those words now more than ever.
Finarfin held Maglor for a long time, stroking his hair, rubbing his back. Then Maglor sucked on Finarfin's fingers, and became aware of Finarfin's hard cock pressed against his thigh, and with Finarfin's fingers still in his mouth, Maglor reached down for Finarfin's cock, wanting to please him, knowing it had been days since the last time they were intimate... days that felt like years.
Finarfin replaced the fingers in Maglor's mouth with his cock, and Maglor sucked eagerly. Sucking Finarfin's cock was soothing and arousing all at once, strangely comforting, and Maglor hummed with pleasure as he worshiped the beautiful cock... reveling in Finarfin's moans and sighs, the look of ecstasy on his face as Maglor worked on him.
Before Finarfin could come in Maglor's mouth, he lay back against the pillows and poured oil over his cock. He grabbed Maglor's leash and patted his thighs. "Ride me, slut. Earn your forgiveness."
"Yes, hántya."
Maglor straddled Finarfin and sank down. They both cried out as Finarfin's cock buried itself to the hilt... that wonderful instant of connection, being one with each other.
Maglor rode Finarfin slowly at first, sensuously, both because his ass was still sore from all the beating - though the salve helped, and Finarfin's healing touch - and also to tease them both. To make it last, wanting to savor that feeling of coming home, that feeling of belonging, so right together. But lust took over in time and Maglor rode him hard, bucking madly, panting for it as Finarfin growled, grabbing Maglor's hips, balls slapping as he pounded Maglor's needy hole. Maglor held onto Finarfin's shoulders, whimpering, crying out, desperate for relief but needing to keep feeling him, needing to fuck, needing to fuck away the torment of the days past.
At last Finarfin gripped Maglor's cock in his tight fist, stroking along to the rhythm of their wild, hot fuck, and Maglor grit his teeth, trying to hold back, trying to edge himself, needing more, never enough...
...and then he came hard, throwing back his head with a shout as his release surged through him, feeling like he was being ripped apart and put back together with each delicious pulse. He watched his seed splash Finarfin's chest, and two thrusts later Finarfin's seed spilled inside him, Finarfin groaning, trembling, letting out a shuddery sigh as his eyes rolled back and his face lit up. Maglor loved that look of joy on Finarfin's face, and leaned down to rain kisses over him, smiling back, before a deep kiss smouldering with the embers of passion.
Still they needed more. Maglor got on all fours like a bitch in heat, begging "please, please, more, please" and Finarfin knelt behind him. Maglor's sore ass made the pounding all the more exquisite, and Finarfin showed no mercy, fucking hard. Both of them having come made them last longer and Finarfin fucked on and on, as Maglor panted, "more, more, please, hántya, more..."
Finarfin reached around and played with Maglor's cock. He leaned in to kiss and lick Maglor's neck... and when he bit with a growl, Maglor came again, spurting over Finarfin's hand, and Finarfin bit Maglor's shoulder with another loud growl as his body shook against Maglor's and Maglor felt another flood of hot seed inside him. Maglor sighed with pleasure - feeling Finarfin spill inside him was the best feeling in the world.
"I love you," Finarfin said softly, arms around Maglor as they sank down.
"I love you so much, hántya." Maglor turned his head and they rubbed noses.
Everything was all right again, and Maglor smiled. It felt like a victory for their love... and a victory over Nerdanel, who had tried so hard to destroy her sons with words as her parting gift. Finarfin's love was stronger than her hatred.
Next, they would work on Maedhros...
go to Chapter 31 | go to story index | go to Maglor Fanfic index | go to home page