[May 2024, written on day 22 of sobriety]
They say the journey of a thousand miles
begins with a single step
but these miles are endless
and Hashem, I am tired
So I crawl
my very small hand wrapped around Your finger
Pulling me along
like I am a child again
learning how to sleep again
learning how to eat again
Keep moving forward
through the storm of emotions I did not let myself feel
through the flood of pain I tried to numb away
through the fire of dreams I did not want to face
Keep moving forward
Keep moving upward
out of the abyss of darkness
to find the light
I rest for a moment
my body trembling
my voice shaking as I cry out
I sit in the grass among the trees
and the sun shines down on me
A still small voice:
just breathe