[April 2021]
there are no words
only the unvoiced scream of pain
as i peel each layer of grief
and go deeper down
there are no words
only feelings beyond words
raw and primordial
elements clashing, natural disasters
i am still bleeding out
i am still not ok
i have been not ok for so long
i don't remember what it's like to be ok
how can a heart so broken still feel
how can a soul so shattered still burn
why won't this pain stop
there are no words
beyond what i can say here in this space
fumbling and awkward
coming up short of all i need to express
there are no words
only feelings beyond feelings
i feel too much
i loved too much
and nothing i say can describe the horror
the wreckage
the madness of revelation
that the layers of grief are infinite
dear g-d i have seen forever
and it fucking hurts