[July 2020, written in the months after a traumatic breakup with someone I was engaged to]
if I could send a message in a bottle
from now back in time to then
I would say don't give your heart away
you're better off just staying friends
I know it's cold and lonely out there
and you're tired of being alone
but sometimes you can be with someone
and still feel like you're on your own
and that feeling is even worse
than having no one to love at all
when you're shouting into the void
and they never hear your call
don't settle for a few dying embers
when you burn like a consuming fire
you don't deserve to feel so low
when love should take you ever higher
and yet I can't undo the past
I can't take back what's done
I can only learn to live with this
my ashes from flying to the sun
and all I am is the sum of these parts
the life that I've lived so far
I don't know where I'd be right now
if I hadn't wished upon that star
you win some and you lose some
and when you lose, your heart will break
but life will crush you anyway
I feel more numb to each new ache
so as much as I have regrets
and want to forget each touch, each kiss
I protect my heart with darkness
that I found in the abyss