Sören woke to the sound of himself screaming, the feeling of searing heat... being suffocated... rising up and up and up, shooting upwards like a rocket, thinner and thinner like air -
"Sören. Elskan. You're having a bad dream."
Sören opened his eyes and saw Magni's grey ones, watching with compassion and concern. Magni touched Sören's face, began stroking his curls. "Just a dream. You're here. You're safe. You're here in my arms, safe with me..."
So he was, and Sören broke down sobbing. Magni pulled Sören's head onto his shoulder and his arms tightened around Sören's body. He pet Sören's curls, rubbed his back, rocked him. "It's OK," Magni soothed. "It's all right."
"Jesus." Sören still felt rattled to his core, the nightmare was so vivid...
"You had that recurring nightmare about burning to death, didn't you?" Magni asked.
Sören nodded and wept harder. "I wish it would just stop. I hate that I dread going to sleep because I never know when I'm going to have that nightmare again. No matter how many times I tell myself it's a dream, it keeps happening. It keeps haunting me, it feels so fucking real when I'm having it -"
"Shhhhh, elskan, I know." Magni kissed the top of Sören's head. "I know."
Sören snuggled deeper into Magni's shoulder, letting the strong shield wall of Magni's body and those arms give him the safety and comfort he needed. After a few minutes, Sören's mind's eye stopped replaying the nightmare sequence and Sören was more present...
...present enough to respond to Magni's body against his, cock stirring to life. When Magni felt Sören's hard cock against his thigh he chuckled and gave Sören a little kiss. "Here," he said, "I know what will help quench the burning."
Magni picked Sören up and carried him to the bathroom. Sören sat on the toilet as Magni started the shower. Sören still felt dissociated enough, more floating outside his body than in it, that it didn't quite register with him at first, and then he noticed Magni's perfect ass and his cock jolted and Sören couldn't help laughing at his body's response. Magni flashed him a grin and gestured for Sören to come over as steam began to roll through the bathroom. As Sören walked towards Magni and the shower, Magni's cock rose as well, and Sören's cock jolted again at the sight of Magni hardening for him.
Once Sören and Magni were in the shower together, the glass door closed behind them, Magni pushed Sören up against the wall and kissed him deeply. Sören moaned, cock throbbing, slick beginning to drip from his hole, and moaned again as he felt Magni's hard cock bump his. With a smile, Magni took down the shower gel and began to lather Sören's body. The sensual touch of Magni's hands rubbing all over him brought Sören back to himself, and Sören's tension melted away in the deliciously hot water beating down his sensitized skin. Sören returned the favor, soaping up Magni, admiring his gorgeous, sculpted body, like a statue made flesh. The two of them got harder for each other, and kissed under the spray, cocks rubbing together as their hands continued exploring, teasing.
Sören couldn't get enough of Magni's touch, or looking at him, utter male perfection, in its glory glistening, dripping beads of water like jewels. Even Magni's hair was beautiful all wet...
The tips of Magni's ears were pointed. Sören did a double-take, and then he found himself staring, felt his mouth open, even as he knew that was rude, and the last thing he wanted to do was be insensitive and offend Magni. But Sören had never seen ears like that on another human being. The ears were a little longer and the points more sharply defined than Spock's ears, and before Sören could stop himself he reached out to take a point between his thumb and forefinger, needing to see if this was real, wasn't some practical joke Magni was playing on him. When the point didn't come off, Sören quickly yanked his hand back and covered his mouth. Magni just blinked, not reacting.
Too calm, like he'd been preparing for this, rehearsing this moment in his head.
"I'm sorry," Sören said. "I should have asked before -"
Magni gave him a reassuring hug, chuckling. "You've touched my cock and grabbed my ass -"
"This is different. I..." Sören looked away, trying not to stare, but somehow the pointed ears made Magni even more attractive.
"I was born this way," Magni said, "if you're wondering."
As someone with piercings and tattoos, Sören knew that people got other body modifications done, like the guy who'd had his tongue forked like a snake, so that bypassed that particular question. Sören figured it was within the realm of possibility for someone to have a birth defect that would point their ears, but he'd never heard of such a thing. The only time he'd seen pointy ears was on Spock, and on fictional portrayals of elves.
For a brief, mad instant, Sören wondered if Magni was an alien, but then he shoved that thought away as quickly as he could. No need to put on the tin foil hat, Sören told himself. We don't need to get into conspiracy theories about aliens.
Something about this still felt weird, but Sören decided at least for now it didn't matter. "You have beautiful ears," Sören said, and then he facepalmed and giggled, realizing how completely ridiculous that sounded. "I'm sorry. I -"
Magni silenced him with a kiss. His eyes were soft, and crinkled at the corners. He booped Sören's nose. "I'm glad you like my ears."
"I like all of you." Sören looked down at Magni's cock, dripping precum onto his. Sören bit his lower lip and looked back into Magni's eyes. Magni's Alpha scent was stronger than the shower gel now, and it took Sören everything he had not to get on all fours on the shower floor and present. Sören's hole twitched and his cock pulsed, wanting Magni so badly it hurt. Wanting to give Magni whatever assurance he needed that the compliment was sincere, that he thought Magni's ears were perfect like the rest of him.
Magni kissed him again, and again. They rolled their hips, grinding their hard cocks together, and a few thrusts later Magni took both their cocks into his fist, gripping tight, stroking them. The vise-like clench of Magni's hand and the silken steel of Magni's cock sliding up and down against his drove Sören wild with lust and sensation, whimpering, quivering, kissing Magni back feverishly. They moaned together as Magni stroked harder and faster, until they were right on that edge, panting, gasping, shaking, right there, so good...
Sören threw back his head and let out a fierce shout as his cock began to spurt, shooting cream down Magni's cock, over Magni's hand, across Magni's stomach. The sight of his cock creaming Magni's cock made Sören throb again, knees buckling as he shot off another load. Magni gave a shuddery gasp then a deep groan as he gave in to his own climax, spending over Sören's cock, painting Sören's chest and stomach. On impulse, Sören scooped up Magni's seed from his skin and tasted it from his fingers, then he collected his own cum from Magni's stomach and stuck his fingers in Magni's mouth. The look of bliss on Magni's face as he sucked Sören's fingers, moaning around them, made Sören contract again, with a deep sigh. Sören leaned against the shower wall to not fall over, feeling like his bones were liquefying. He was vaguely aware of Magni turning off the shower and then carrying him out.
As they dried off, they checked the time - it was ten AM, still morning, not Sören's favorite time of day, but they had a whole day ahead of them and hadn't made concrete plans for what to do while in Akureyri. Sören thought about suggesting they spend the day in bed fucking their brains out, but before he could do that, Magni raised an eyebrow at him and said, "Sören... is there anything you ever wanted to do when you used to live up here, that you never got a chance to do?"
Sören had to think... which meant thinking about something other than Magni's body and that hot cock, but most of it was clothed now, mercifully. Sören stroked his beard and his life flashed before his eyes.
Sören had spent countless hours walking and biking around Akureyri and the surrounding area before he moved out of town, so there wasn't much he wasn't familiar with. But then there was one thing, that he'd always written off as impossible.
"I've never climbed Súlur," Sören said. "My asthma."
Súlur was three and a half miles up, a four-to-six hour climb depending on speed. Sören's asthma was better now than when he was living with Katrin and Einar, and he'd heard Súlur was doable if one's asthma was well-managed, but there had never been time for it on previous visits since he'd left, he always had to make his time in Akureyri a day trip because of work.
Magni nodded. "If I promised you that I would carry you if you can't take it, would you want to try?"
Sören laughed. Magni had carried him for short trips, it was obvious he was strong - even through his long-sleeved shirt, the definition in his arms showed - but there was a difference between carrying a full-grown man a few feet, and carrying a full-grown man at least a couple of miles.
Magni folded his arms and rocked back on his heels.
Sören took a deep breath. He wanted to - he was worried that Magni was potentially getting in over his head - and yet something told him to take Magni's assessment of his own abilities at face value. In Sören's mind's eye he recalled sketching Magni as a warrior, swinging a long, heavy sword, cleaving trolls and fire giants. That was fantasy - and what Sören recognized now as the beginning of seeing Magni as a potential partner, his shining knight - and yet, there was always a bit of truth in Sören's art. Sören looked Magni up and down, the height, the muscles, and he decided to take a leap of faith. "We can try."
Magni gave him a hug. "Good boy."
Sören's fear of having an asthma attack on the trail and needing to be carried by Magni did not come true. They made it all the way to the top of Súlur. It had taken long enough that if this was winter it would already be night now, but it was summer and the sky was a bright blue with wispy white cloud puffs, seeming to go on forever, reflected in the bay. The panorama of Akureyri from so high up was breathtaking, giving Sören chills, making his eyes mist.
The awe, the wonder at the beauty of the world, was chased by giddy exhilaration. Joy and relief. Sören threw back his head and let out a whoop. "I did it. I fucking did it. I made it to the top."
"You did." Magni gave him a hug.
"Einar said I was a weakling, but he's never been to the top of Súlur." Sören raised his hands and put up both middle fingers. "FUCK YOU, EINAR!" he shouted, echoing into the sky. Then, on impulse, he undid his jeans and boxer-briefs, pushed them down his thighs, turned around and bent over slightly, mooning Akureyri from the top of the mountain. "KISS MY ASS, EINAR!"
Yelling at a high altitude made Sören's mouth dry; without being asked, Magni passed over a bottle of water and Sören drank it with his jeans and underwear still down his thighs, cock and ass hanging out. Magni's lips quirked slightly.
Sören still felt mischievous and after he handed the bottle of water back to Magni he stepped as close to the edge of the summit as he dared, grabbed his cock, and aimed, pissing off the mountain. "GO TO HELL, EINAR!"
Magni showed no reaction, and when Sören shook to drip dry, then pulled his pants back up, he worried that he'd crossed a line of vulgar behavior and turned Magni off. Sören put his hands on his hips, and Magni said, "Oh, you know. It's good that you made it to the top of the mountain, but even if you hadn't... you're still worthy of respect, and Einar shouldn't have said what he did to you. One of my brothers lost his hand and he didn't want to be pitied and he tried so hard to get stronger than he was before, and I wish I could have gotten it through his head that he didn't need to prove anything to anybody, and our father would have still loved him and been proud of him even if he hadn't worked to compensate for his disability."
Sören put an arm around Magni. "Where's... your brother now?" He noticed the past tense and he had a bad feeling of where this was going, bracing himself.
"Dead," Magni said matter-of-factly. "He killed himself."
Sören's jaw dropped. His heart broke for Magni, aching for the grief, the loss, the guilt, knowing it had to be so hard to replay a thousand how-things-could-have-been-different-if-only-I'd scenarios in one's head even though it wasn't Magni's fault, knowing it had to be so hard to live with missing his brother. Now Sören turned and put both arms around Magni. "Shit. I don't even know what to say."
"Neither do I."
Sören swallowed hard and hugged Magni tighter. "Do you... keep in touch with your other brothers? Or your father?"
"I was very close to my father but he's dead. All my brothers are dead." Magni patted Sören's back and then he looked out across the sky and the bay and the green rolling hills and brightly colored buildings of the town. "One of my uncles is buried on this mountain."
Sören felt his eyes burn with tears. He hadn't known that, and - "Oh, Magni. You could have told me, I don't want you to force yourself to come here if -"
Magni shook his head. "No, I needed to." He exhaled and looked back at Sören. "It's honoring his memory, and it's right that I bring someone I love here with me."
They hadn't spoken the word yet, though Sören certainly felt it, and now the tears brimmed over, salt stinging his eyes as he wept silently. Magni's own eyes were too bright but he held back his own tears. He stroked Sören's cheek and kissed Sören's forehead before crushing Sören against his chest, holding him tight. Sören clung to him, wishing there was something he could say or do to make it better, but all he could do was be here. It made more sense now why Magni had said he didn't like to get attached to people... why he was so terse about where he came from.
"I love you too," Sören told him, meaning it with all of his heart.
Magni tousled Sören's curls. "I know."
Sören smiled - he was glad it was obvious, even though he'd been concerned about coming on too strong and scaring him away. Even though Sören was the Omega, he felt protective of Magni, holding him as tightly as he could, never wanting to let go. You belong to me and you will never be alone again, Sören thought, but didn't speak aloud. He knew the words wouldn't undo what was done, however long Magni had been living with this burden of pain.
When they finally pulled apart, Magni picked Sören up, hoisted Sören onto his shoulders, and began to spin around and around, making Sören shriek and giggle. Then Magni stood close to the edge, with Sören still piggyback on his shoulders, an even greater height, looking down across the world. After a few minutes Sören climbed down and Magni scooped him up again, cradling Sören as he spun around some more. Sören laughed, feeling like he was high. They had both known great sorrow, but they were still here, still alive, on top of a mountain underneath the unconquerable sun. Sören savored this moment, holding onto it like it was sacred, witnessing a miracle.
On their way down, Sören noticed a cairn that had seemed to blend in to the other rocks coming up but was much more noticeable now. This is the place, Sören thought to himself - the ground almost seemed to thrum beneath his feet.
Magni went down on his knees in front of the cairn, bowed his head and closed his eyes, a gesture of reverence to the uncle he loved and lost, buried on this mountain. Sören put a hand on his shoulder.
When Magni rose up, he took Sören's hand and they continued down the trail.
"What was his name?" Sören asked, curious.
It took Magni a few seconds to respond. "Njáll."
Sören nodded. He squeezed Magni's hand and his thumb lovingly brushed the burn scar there. Magni stared on straight ahead, not looking back.
For dinner they went out for fish and chips, instead of eating at the hotel. The intimacy of what they'd shared on the mountain - and the hot release this morning - put them in a playful, sensual mood, feeding each other chips and bites of fish, licking and sucking sauce from each other's fingers. They stole a few kisses on the way down to their suite from the hotel lobby, and once they were inside the suite, door closed behind them, Sören kissed Magni deeply, hole twitching, slick pooling, aching for Magni to knot him, claim him.
But first, Magni picked Sören up again and began swinging him around, like he did on the mountain. Sören whooped and giggled - he loved it when Magni was silly and spontaneous like this.
"You climbed Súlur," Magni said. "That was no easy feat. You should feel proud of yourself."
"I do," Sören said, giving Magni a hug when Magni put him back down on the floor. "I know you don't want me to judge myself because of what Einar said, that you think I should accept myself whether I do this or not, but I won't lie, it feels damn good to do something Einar thought I couldn't do." Sören frowned a little. "Or my schoolmates."
"Oh?"
Sören nodded. "It's bittersweet to be back here. I spent so much time getting lost in nature... alone. I didn't really have friends. I was the runty, nerdy kid who couldn't play sports because of my asthma, so I got bullied pretty severely."
Magni scowled. "I'm sorry."
Sören sighed. "Me too." He had been so lonely growing up. He had compensated for it by becoming something of a feral child, always going off somewhere on little adventures, but it still hurt.
Then Magni chuckled. Sören raised an eyebrow, puzzled by that reaction, and Magni gestured to him and explained, "I don't doubt what happened, I'm not saying you're lying, it's just hard to think that you were ever... a runt." His eyes went up and down Sören's body and then he winked.
Sören's cheeks burned and he crinkled his nose and bit his lower lip, cock stirring, hole twitching again. He could smell Magni's Alpha scent more strongly now, and he wanted. But he felt lingering tension from their mutual confessions - Magni's loss of family, Sören's lack of friends - and Sören needed to relax a bit more. He decided it was time to take out his photo album, which he'd tucked away in his duffel bag as a potential icebreaker. He and Magni sat down looking through old dorky photos of Sören.
The most recent one where Sören felt he still looked like a hopeless nerd was from a couple of years ago, before he'd grown his hair out, before he'd grown a beard. He wasn't a little boy anymore, but Sören thought he looked more androgynous before the beard - he'd always been called pretty rather than handsome, but the clean-shaven, slightly younger version of him made that especially obvious.
Magni's eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly. He drew back a little...
...like he'd seen a ghost.
"Are you OK?" Sören suddenly felt painfully self-conscious and closed the photo album. He grasped for levity. "Too nerdy for you?"
"No." Magni gave a half-smile and petted Sören. Then he said, simply, "You were so young. Eru."
There was that maybe-Finnish-maybe-not swear again. Then Magni pulled Sören against him, held him so tight it almost hurt, and at last the tears came, that Magni had been holding back all day, did not even shed at his uncle's burial cairn.
Sören and Magni held each other and Sören let Magni cry it out, made himself a safe space to catch the flood of grief that it seemed Magni had been bottling up for years. Time passed enough where Sören knew he wasn't getting laid tonight, but Magni's heart was more important than his knot. Sören needed to be here for him, to bear witness to the pain that had scarred Magni's soul like a macrocosm of the burn on his hand. After awhile Sören got up to fish out a T-shirt and pajama pants for himself, and one for Magni; they got changed and rolled up in the sheets and blankets like a burrito, clinging again, Magni weeping harder.
"I'm so sorry," Magni cried.
"Shhhhhh. Let me hold you. It's OK to need this, elskan."
"I'm so sorry," Magni choked out, like he wasn't apologizing to Sören anymore, but to the ghosts he lived with. "I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry..."
"Elskan."
Sören started rocking him, and for some reason his mind latched onto Magni's reaction to the last beardless photo of him. Sören wondered how old Magni's brothers were when they died, but there seemed to be more to Magni's reaction than that. Like it hadn't entirely been the youth Magni was reacting to, but something... else... that was unvoiced, unspoken but still palpable, just out of Sören's grasp of recognition.
That made Sören wonder about the circumstances of their deaths, besides knowing one of Magni's brothers was a suicide. It wasn't completely uncommon, in one's thirties, to have a dead parent or a dead uncle, but it was still young... and it was uncommon for one's entire family to be gone.
"What happened?" Sören blurted out, before he could stop himself. He facepalmed and groaned, ashamed of his impulsivity. "Sorry, I shouldn't have asked. I don't want to make you talk about it if -"
"My father was an inventor and one of his inventions made us some powerful enemies," Magni said. "My father and uncle were both murdered."
Sören's jaw dropped. "Do you mean, like... like the mafia?" That seemed ridiculous, all the way out in rural Iceland, but then books, TV and movies loved the trope of the weirdest, most unbelievable things happening in small, quiet towns. And they lived in a global society now, the mafia and other gangs were everywhere.
"Worse."
Sören took a deep breath. He didn't want to believe Magni was lying to him - he didn't think the raw grief coming out in Magni's tears was faked, it felt very, very real - but something about this didn't add up. Sören thought of Magni not wanting to visit Húsavík or even talk about it.
"Do you know my second cousin, Sigrit Ericksdóttir? She sings. She wants to do Eurovision someday."
"Maybe? It's been a long time since I was in Húsavík."
Sören found it very implausible that Magni, himself a singer and musician, would not have known his cousin Sigrit in a town of just over two thousand people. Or that such a tragedy would have befallen a family in Húsavík and Sigrit wouldn't have made an offhanded mention of it at least once in one of their rare conversations.
Sören pursed his lips. He didn't want to do this when Magni was hurting, but he didn't feel he had a choice. "Magni... you're not really from Húsavík, are you?"
"No," Magni admitted. "I have lived there, a long time ago, but I'm... from Húsavík about as much as I'm from anywhere else, which is to say 'yes' and 'not really'."
Sören's head was spinning. He felt sick, but not enough to let go of Magni. He knew there had to be a damn good reason why Magni had made up being from Húsavík, when the grief of losing his family seemed so genuine... when his family had been murdered. "Oh god. Are you in some kind of witness protection -"
"Not... quite." Magni sighed deeply and rubbed his face before he put his arms around Sören again. "It's complicated. I'll explain to you tomorrow. I... I can't right now."
"I understand." Sören pulled Magni's head onto his shoulder and began petting Magni's hair. He felt slightly stung that Magni had lied about being from Husavik, and it made Sören wonder what else Magni had lied about, but he wanted to give Magni the benefit of the doubt. Because even with knowing he'd been lied to about something, and that Magni could lie so easily... even with knowing Magni was probably on the run from dangerous people... he still felt safe in Magni's arms, the strong arms that could and would carry him for miles if he needed it.
"I wasn't lying when I said I love you," Magni said softly.
Magni picked up his head and they kissed, and then Magni broke down again. "Everyone I love, something happens -"
"I'm not going anywhere."
Magni wept harder.
"You've got me," Sören insisted, rocking him again. "You've got me. You've got me..."
"Atya," Magni called out, holding Sören tight, shaking as the sobs wracked him. "Atya. Atya..."
"You've got me. You've got me..." Tears spilled down Sören's cheeks, wishing he could do something to make the pain stop, willing to rip out his own heart if that was what it took.
Magni hadn't bitten him yet, hadn't knotted him, but Sören knew he was still claimed, body and soul, this was who he belonged to, and neither law, nor love, nor league of swords would pry him away.
Magni gently shook Sören awake, who groaned as he reluctantly stirred - and then he groaned again, louder, when his bleary eyes saw the time.
The strenuous climb up and down Súlur, and the powerful emotional catharsis, had apparently exhausted them both enough that it was just after twelve noon. Sören grumbled as he sat up.
Magni began getting dressed right away and Sören let out a whine. He was feeling mildly sexually frustrated, but they were going back to Reykjavik tomorrow morning so they needed to make this final day in Akureyri count.
It was the summer solstice, but summers in Akureyri were cool, and so Sören wore a light sweater over a T-shirt - layers in case he got too warm walking around - and Magni had on a leather jacket. He had brought his guitar on the trip, and now he took it with him as they headed out to the car, looking like a rock star.
They went to the Botanical Garden first, which was at its peak in summer with the rainbow of flowers in the lush green. They took a long, slow walk through the garden, taking it all in, before they found a spot where Magni could sit to serenade Sören. Sören sat on the ground to give Magni space to play, but also because he felt closer to the earth this way, more in tune with his surroundings.
Magni gave a wonderful performance, a medley of rock covers and original songs. As always Sören thrilled to his voice, hair standing on end, breaking out in gooseflesh. This time, a soft breeze stirred the flowers and grass, and the colors of the garden seemed to ramp up, more saturated and intense, like one of his paintings coming to life...
...and a soft golden mist rolled over them, fine golden sparkles dancing on the air. Sören thought maybe he was hallucinating - there was nothing like a movie filming nearby where special effects would have drifted downwind, he was sure there were no chemicals being sprayed at the garden that would produce a golden haze with some glitter - but instead of feeling frightened, like he knew he should in the face of something so clearly not normal, the opposite happened. He felt more deeply at peace than he ever had, not able to stop smiling, feeling joy in the simple pleasure of sitting here listening to Magni's music, in the beauty of the flowers.
This wasn't a drug. This was real magic. Sören didn't believe in anything, and yet it was impossible to deny that was what it was. Magni's music seemed to open some sort of extra layer of reality, filling the surrounding area with golden light. With peace. With love.
"Holy shit," Sören said, giggling madly, completely lost in the liminal feeling.
They stayed there awhile, until the golden light faded and everything seemed normal again, then Magni took Sören's hand and helped him up. They stared at each other for a long moment and Magni touched Sören's face.
"I have something to show you," Magni told him.
"Your cock?" Sören couldn't resist.
Magni facepalmed, laughing, and then he elbowed Sören and shook his head. "Later," he said with a grin. He sobered - deadly serious. "Like this, what you just saw, but... more."
Sören's heart began to race. So Magni was acknowledging something had happened, it hadn't just been a trick of Sören's mind.
A new burning question replaced Where are you from, really? Now it was What are you?
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