"Hey, Ted."
Ted looked up from his newspaper with a sigh of exasperation. "What is it now, Dougal."
"I think I figured out what caused my allergies, Ted."
Ted narrowed his eyes. He thought about making a sarcastic reply but he decided to just let Dougal go on, even though he was sure he would regret it in a few minutes.
Dougal smiled and nodded. "I think it's the Sun, Ted."
"...what."
"That's right. The Sun is giving me allergies, Ted."
Ted put down his newspaper and facepalmed. "Dougal, don't you think it might be... genetics? Or perhaps environmental pollutants -"
"Think about it, Ted! The Sun makes all the food crops grow, right? And we've been having all this crazy solar weather lately. So I'm sure it makes all that Sun energy a bit bonkers." Dougal continued nodding.
"Dougal, for sweet Christ's sake, this isn't the 1300s where we just... blame things on the Moon, or the Sun. That isn't just completely unscientific, it doesn't make any sense at all."
"So why are we priests who tell everyone to worship a guy who came back from the dead after three days and we also tell people eating bread is literally his body?" Dougal tapped his temple.
Ted got up, walked over to where Father Jack was sleeping, snatched the bottle of brandy, and began to drink straight out of the bottle - there wasn't much left and Ted drained it. Father Jack immediately woke up, screamed "DRINK!", then took the empty bottle from Ted and threw it at Dougal. Dougal dodged and it went through the window, knocking Mrs. Doyle off her ladder onto the ground.
Note: this fic was inspired by someone I know IRL who believes in conspiracy theories and pseudoscience and literally blamed their food allergies on solar weather.